Is this just me? or do others feel over wheming emotion at times

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Sep 6, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I don'tknow it this is just a ME thing or not. But I have found that when I am flaring , tired, overly stressed. I become overly emontinal. I could use a answer to this problem if there is one out there. I am so tired of being in tears for no real reason.

    I will cry at the drop a hat and who needs a hat. I am sick and tired of always being in pain. And even though my family understands some what they really don't have a clue as to how I am feeling.

    I have spent the past 2 months taking my Mom to the ER first with celluitis and the treatment was IV antibitoics every 24 hours for 6 days , and it could just take 30 minutes or hours depending on how busy the ER was.And then she got it again and caught it early but after one dose of the antibitoics it was worse than ever. So they put her on a stronger antibitoic. And finally did a ultrasound and found that there was a houge pocket of infection that needed to be drained 2 times and it was finally cultured.

    Then about 2 weeks ago she fell and now has a compression fracture in her throasic / lumbar spine. But what caused her to fall is still a mystery to all. She is on blood thinners and her blood as far to thin so she spent 4 days in the hosptial with inept nurse's and lab techs that have misplaced test results and even her having the tests done.

    She is at home now and I am flaring like crazy , I know that is why my pain is soo bad and I am so tired all the time.. But I don't understand why when my husband gets upset with me because I have been sleeping off and on all day, my reaction is not to tell him that I am flaring but to break out in tears which only makes him more irratated with me. "You don't need to cry over it , I just asked why your always laying down and nothing is getting done"?

    But to me I am hurt that he has no clue that he has just stabbed me in the heart and still after 5 years of this does not understand that after I have been under a lot of stress and when this stress gets to be too much my body shuts down and the only thing that is left is someone who is overly emotioanl about everything .

    It is like my body just shuts down and there is nothing I can do about it, and to try and expalin it to him I breakdown into tears. I am so sick of the pain adn of the being in tears. Why do I just cry it does not amke him understnd any better and it only irrates him as he does not know that what he says hurts me as he is just telling me how he feels.

    I should be happy today as it is my wedding anniverary 26 years we have been married. And we have 3 beautiful daughters and 2 grandsons and a granddaughter on the way.

    So why am I so overly emotional at times? I really hate it and yet I have no control over how I feel .
    I don't want to sit and cry and make people think that I am feeling sorry for my self because I am not. I have a good life and a good husband. And I love my girls and my grandkids.

    I get so tired that I am in tears. Some one asks me how I am and I am intears. I walk like a 10 month pregnant woman who is in her 90's. Not that it would be peosaible to do that but that is how I feel I walk and look.

    All it takes is for some one to ask me how I am or why they have not seen me around much or at all, How do I explain that I don't want to move becasue I hurt and that the pain is so netense at times that it is off the pain scale.And then some person always comments about HOW can you be in that MUCH PAIN ALL THE TIME?" IT IS NOT POSSIABLE FO R A PERSON TO BE IN THAT MUCH PAIN EVERY DAY ,

    Guess what it IS. And then after try ing to tell them that what I have is real and that the pain is not always so bad but that there are still times when it is and it will last for weeks.

    I guess that I don't make any scense to them as unless you live in with pain all the time you have no understanding of what it does to you. How do I tell them and not cry aboutit it? Well having fibro , CMP and other chronic pain issuses I have days where I just hurt.

    What is going on with me? Am I alone with this problem?

    I don't want to be in tears all of the time becasue someone askes me how I am and I can't tell them in a manner that they understand.

    HOW do you explain fibro to some one who does not know much about it.? They have never had pain that is there and you don't have a broken bone, or have had any surgery so how is it that you can hurt so much with no real reason.?

    Like I said before. People have no understanding of how we feel with chronic pain. For 90% of thoses we know pain is some thing that comes and goes. But for us it does not ever go away totally and leave us.


    The day I shattered my left wrist. I was given more pain meds than any doctor had given at the hospital I was in. I was given 500 mics of fentynal, plus 20 mg's of versed and I was WIDE AWAKE AND STILL IN PAIN.

    That is not normal. Buit then who ever said I was normal. I am not normal . some thing inside of me is broken and the pain center of my brain has been sending pain signals for pain that has no cause. But it still gets a signal to tell my body that It is in real pain.

    Living with chronic pain is something that I would not wish on any one. AS it will drive you nuts at times. I don't look sick or injured, or stoned from all the pain meds I take and I take enough to send a horse in a coma and yet I am still walking around and hurting but not as bad. But still there is pain.

    So I get all emotioanl and cry over it and hate it with a passion. WHY me? I have asked and I know we each have asked that question of WHY ME? What did I do to feel this way? NOTHING. It happens to people and there is not real reason that most people can relate to or understand.

    I am so sick of being sick and tired and in pain all the time. I am tired of not sleeping becasue I hear the softest noise. LIKE my husbands insluin pump going off several times druning hte night. HE does not hear it but I do BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. I am going nuts from that sound of it 's high pitched BEEPING . It hurts me to hear it. just that sound makes me hurt deep in to my bones. A sound can cause me to hurt why is that?

    I am not normal as normal people don't cry at the drop of a hat. I am so emotional that as I am writing htis I have tears in my eye's. I am so sick of feeling like I need to cry and release this never ending pain that I have. IT just builds up in me till I lose it and I cry but it does not make me feel better just upset because I am crying for a reason that I don't understand .

    Am I alone ? Does any one else every feel this way? OR is it just me?
    I don't have any answers .
    Rosemarie
    [This Message was Edited on 09/06/2006]
  2. darude

    darude New Member

    I'm sure we all have times like that. It's called "Bulbar effect". Another thing to drives us nuts.
  3. Bren2135

    Bren2135 New Member

    Dear Rosemarie,

    You are NOT alone, and the rest of us DO understand. I'm sure it must be frustrating to those who love us, because they TRY to get it, but it's almost impossible, unless you've had that experience. (This is hard for me too, and everyday, I'm working on just being very matter-of-fact about it: I'm in pain, and there's only so much I can do at a time, and that will be okay.)

    Caretaking is exhausting work, even for those who have no afflictions of their own to tend to! I'm wondering if there might be some options, to help share that responsibility with you.. does your mom have a friend who could help out, or is home health available to her? I used to take care of my mom too (in her residence), but it just got to be too much for me. Now she has an agency come in.

    I hope you remember that you're such a strong person, to fight through pain and exhaustion everyday of your life, and still have the capacity to care so much about others. Take some time to rest for YOU (whatever that means, whether it's an afternoon nap, or a bubble bath, or a visit to the movies.) You're important!!

    Hugs,
    Brenda
  4. myalgiamania

    myalgiamania New Member

    SOMETIMES I THINK I AM ALL CRIED OUT.

    i love it when my husband says why are you sleeping so much. must be the pills...he's getting better about that though.

    now i have a trick, just before he comes home i'm as busy as a bee. i keep my house very simple and my teenage kids are fairly neat...so it's easy.

    look busy, make his favourite dessert. he'll be so happy.

    i hope it works...God Bless!
  5. BlueSky555

    BlueSky555 New Member

    Hi Rosemarie,

    Oh dear, you're certainly not alone in this. Most of the time, I feel like a "baby" I cry so much. It's impossible to explain how I feel to anyone except you nice people here on the board. I break down when I talk to my family members and even my Dr. I try and try to hold back but I'm just not one to do it. I just let go, with no control at all.

    I see a caring, loving person and I can tell that you are proud of your family and no doubt, caring for your Mom.

    I only wanted you to know that you're not alone in this.

    Happy Anniversary!

    BlueSky555

    Happy 26th Anniversary!
  6. mymichelina

    mymichelina New Member

    I could copy the majority of your post and hand it to people to explain it to them. Just how I feel. Thank YOU for not making me feel alone. I could feel your pain as if it is my own. I am so so sorry, for you and all of us.
  7. OregonTrail

    OregonTrail New Member

    I had a very similar reaction just last week. My sister and father had both been in the hospital and I had been juggling care for both of them. I was exhausted!

    Prior to the hospitalizations, my house, which is constantly a mess and a challenge, was beginning to show some improvement.

    So, one of the days last week my husband came home from work very tired and stressed. Hoping to improve his mood, I asked if there was anything I could do to help. His reply was, "Yes, keep on getting the mess cleaned up." I know he wasn't trying to hurt me, but I was crushed.

    I left the room and found a private place to cry. Later, when he finally noticed that I was missing, he came looking for me. When he found me crying we talked. After I had gone through all of the reasons (and non-reasons) for my reaction to his simple suggestion, he held me in his arms and said, "So, what you are really suffering from is exhaustion and guilt that you still need others to do the things you feel responsible for." He apologised for his earlier comment and held me until I was able to calm down and go to bed.

    So, after being married for 37 years and dealing with FMS and multiple other medical conditions for many years, he clearly showed me that he really does get it.

    I feel very lucky to have my wonderful husband. I just hope all of you can find at least one person who can really understand when you appear to break down for no apparent reason.