it hurts when own mom wont believe

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by homesheba, Mar 13, 2007.

  1. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    i am 52 years old and have been sick since i was 28 with crohns and then hep c and then one thing after another and now fibro and arthritis since like earlly ninetys or so... anyway
    mom comes here to live after katrina ruined her place and she wants me to take her here and there...
    like i am just a ball of energy... grrr!!!
    i tell her over and over that i can maybe-
    do one big thing a day,
    and thats it, and not go here and there like she wants...
    so today i get up my energy and go walking with me and dog in woods,
    very private ahhhh!!!
    and lovely and come back to hear,
    '' well you sure seem to have energy to do more than one thing a day when 'you' want to...''...
    we all know that feeling dont we?
    another knife stuck in the back by a family member.
    i am sooo beyond tired of it.
    i wonder-
    and yes, it sounds alful...
    but would many of us be in better health- if we wasnt around family members allll the time?
    even my own sis and dh throws stuff up to me.
    . i am sick of crying and sick of being upset and sick of them treating me like i am a liar or dope addict.
    but of course..
    they all say that they really believe that i am sick when i ask.. HA!!!
    what a lie there.
    im sorry everyone...
    it just boiled over and i had to come see you all tonight.
  2. suzannekart

    suzannekart New Member

    I really know how you are feeling. My mom would call me and say "is that all you have done?" or "you mean you are just getting up?" which was usually about 8 am.

    I am sorry you are having such a hard time and people are being so unkind.

    Hang in there and know many of us are thinking of you.
  3. raspberrykisses

    raspberrykisses New Member

    I guess it's kind of hard for people to understand when they havn't been through it themselves. I hope things get better with your mom.
  4. gottalaugh

    gottalaugh New Member

    Definitely understand how you feel, I think we all have relatives/friends like that.

    It's important for you to take control of your life in areas that you can.

    Saying "NO" is a good place to start. Next time your mom wants you to do all that running and you are not up to it - you need to stand firm (for your health's sake). No one can run over you in life unless you let them. I would definitely start having some heart-to-heart talks with your family members, and if they don't get it, then you need to detach yourself a bit from them so you can have some peace; so as to not let their negativity impact your life so much. All the best.
  5. clerty

    clerty New Member

    I have been caled selfish and other things But I dont care anymore I always say tough !!!
    my in laws have been the worst it has taken 3 years for them to understand how unwell I am I used to get so upset at the way they treated me then at Christmas we where staying at theirs and I could not even move from the bed
    I was crying and so depressed they then understood !!!
  6. clerty

    clerty New Member

    I have to say I agree with that families are supposed to help one another not make them unhappy perhaps you should tell her the way you feel in a nice manner of course !!!

  7. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    it hashelped me tremendously to have you here with me and the friendship that you extend. i may not post alot but i do pray for you and read posts.
    my sis is coming in at easter but unfortunatly her and mom are alike and so there is no way she will take mom... or mom would go either. soooo, i guess right now i will have tyo take alot of trips...:)
  8. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member


    That sounds so terrible. Sometimes family just will not understand how we feel.

    I would guess that if families and friends could feel what we feel day after after day: they might understand understand better.

    I would think a good tongue-lashing might help take some of the strain off of you and put it on them.

    Yes, hard to do, but maybe it can work.

    Good luck. I know how family can be.