I've changed. My song about FMS.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by bobbycat, Jul 5, 2007.

  1. bobbycat

    bobbycat New Member


    I’ve changed, oh how I’ve changed
    I look in the mirror and there’s a reflection staring back at me
    My pain is invisible so on the outside you can’t see

    Oh I am no longer that person I used to be
    You see this pain has gotten a hold of me
    I wish I could take back that part of me

    I’ve changed, oh how I’ve changed, I’ve changed

    Life’s got a hold of me and it’s turned and twisted me
    I used laugh and smile and feel so free
    I want to be that person that I used to be

    I’ve changed, oh how I’ve changed, I’ve changed

    The pain has been hard on my mind and on my soul
    I feel so tired sometimes life has taken a toll
    Sometimes I feel that I have sunk into a big dark hole

    I’ve changed, oh how I’ve changed, I’ve changed

    I know now I will never be that person I used to be
    There’s this different person residing inside of me
    I sometimes wished that person could be set free

    I’ve changed, Oh how I’ve changed, I’ve changed
    I look in the mirror and there’s a reflection staring back at me
    My pain is invisible so on the outside you can’t see

    Oh one day I will be out of this pain for good
    With this pain that is so very misunderstood
    Oh and when I am I will be gone for good.

    Oh I’ve changed, Oh I’ve changed, Oh I’ve change.

    <br>[<i>This Message was Edited on 12/18/2007</i>]
  2. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    That's really good. It's very true too.

  3. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    la la la la la bump

    I like it! ;)

  4. hi all,
    bobbycat,yes we,ve changed.i like your poem.especially the part where we look at ourselves in the mirror,and dont see the change,but its real,coz we can feel it,cant we.

    its so true.

    all our friends on this board,still care to spend time with us,thats all that matters to me now.

    be strong if you can,for yourself and your babies (if you have them)

    take care all

    love fran

  5. kimfranknkim

    kimfranknkim New Member

    bump and bump again!!!!!!!!!!
  6. bobbycat

    bobbycat New Member

    Don't get me wrong I am still fighting the fight. I have had this for 30+ years and I know I have changed. I use to be very active and I used to like to be around people more and I was very witty and funny. I still have some good days but, I have changed. After living with this for a long time I do think it takes a toll on you. It wears you down. I still am hanging in there in fact I still work. I fight everyday and as you see I still even write. I push myself to the limits so I have not given up however, I do have my days where the pain is so bad that I do not think I can't take it anymore. And I have changed I think it does change a person after awhile. I think anyone that has a disease, syndrome, chronic illness or has gone through an emotional trauma ends up being a different person. I guess it's what you do with it at that point. I know the song/poem was sad but, that is sometimes, not always but sometimes how I feel. But, I know one thing I am not who I used to be. And if there is a cure I will never be able to go back as "I've changed". I do thank everyone for their response. Bobby
    <br>[<i>This Message was Edited on 07/06/2007</i>]
  7. Highlights

    Highlights New Member

    I think you should be published, somewhere my friend! I doubt there are few on this message board that can't relate to what you wrote.

    It certainly resonates with me. You could not have written anything more perfect about living with constant pain. And though the ending may sound sad, it is true. I've told my husband a number of times that if something happened to me it would be okay because I would not be suffering anymore.

    It does change the person you once were. Most of my life I have lived with debilitating endometriosis pain. The past 7 years have been fibro & arthritis+ surgical menopause. Personally, and I'm talking about myself here.....I feel like I can either live lethargic-loaded up with drugs for pain/sleep and have no desire to do things OR I can live without using meds and be in so much pain, it hurts to inhale or move - and not want to do anything. Either way, it bites.

    Thanks for putting your feelings on 'cyber' paper that we can relate to. I love it!!!!

  8. joeb7th

    joeb7th New Member

    So truthful and soulful.

    Thanks for posting that.
  9. kmdan

    kmdan New Member

    Interesting to come across this 4 years after it was written. It is so true and a good description of how I feel, too. It has been very hard to adjust to the necessary life changes that come with the fibro changes. Sometimes I just have to focus on breathing...&lt;BR&gt;
    Well, good luck to us all.
  10. yucca133

    yucca133 Member

    Thanks for posting your song. It expresses the way so many of us have changed. It makes me realize how relatively carefree I was before this awful chronic pain disorder appeared and disrupted my life. &lt;BR&gt;
    In my case. it contributed to my two younger daughters cutting off contact with me. They cannot understand how difficult it is to do things sometimes when it is difficult to even move! They wrote that I &quot;just wanted everyone to feel sorry for me.&quot;&lt;BR&gt;
    Here is my little ditty: &quot;A Day in the Life of a Fibromite&quot;&lt;BR&gt;
    What is the state of my pain today&lt;BR&gt;
    Greater, lesser, or about the same?&lt;BR&gt;
    Was my alpha sleep affected much by&lt;BR&gt;
    uninvited dreams and such?&lt;BR&gt;
    Sometimes when first awaking,&lt;BR&gt;
    I don't perceive the awful aching.&lt;BR&gt;
    And sometimes, after arising,&lt;BR&gt;
    Feeling good is surpising!&lt;BR&gt;
    Other days the pain meds call out&lt;BR&gt;
    Functioning is hard without their clout.&lt;BR&gt;
    I used to harbor guilt each day&lt;BR&gt;
    but now am much more blase.&lt;BR&gt;
    The times when energy is not in recession&lt;BR&gt;
    is time enough to care for possessions.&lt;BR&gt;
    On days when there are things I'd rather not do,&lt;BR&gt;
    a positive attitude helps get me through.&lt;BR&gt;
    I've given much thought to the whole pain mess&lt;BR&gt;
    and am determined it won't cause me to enjoy life less.&lt;BR&gt;
  11. Yucca13

    Yucca13 Member

    I made an effort to contribute.
  12. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Thanks for sharing that neat and ever so true poem. Wish it wasn't so true. We don't look that bad on the outside but the inside stinks - ouch !!&lt;BR&gt;
    Yes, I have had it for at least 25 years and probably wouldn't know any different at this point, if it disappeared all of a sudden and have been feeling pain for all this time and you all too who have been suffereing with this for years. Just trying trying to keep up the fasad (sp?). No one really knows how you feel except someone with the same problem, for sure. &lt;BR&gt;
    Many have said they do but they really don't ! My DH says he does but he really hasn't a clue. Now i get grumpy to DH all of a sudden when I didnpt used to be that way, sometimes for a good reason and other not so good :)!!&lt;BR&gt;
    Love to you all and VERY SOFT HUGZ,&lt;BR&gt;
  13. kmdan

    kmdan New Member

    I am impressed with all the rhymes you were able to find :)&lt;BR&gt;
    The poem is a good description of the variety of effects of fibro. Thanks for sharing.