I've never been this down before

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by poeticbobbi, Apr 26, 2007.

  1. poeticbobbi

    poeticbobbi New Member

    I am soooo down I don't know what to do_Of late my life has been no picnic,but the source of the stress is not FM but family and all their hang ups.Now when I need to lean somewhere I can't find not one who'll even try to keep me from falling.
    I ain't sure if the depression is FM related,menopause, or if I am simply looney toons.I've been crying ALL day,I slept all day yesterday and I just feel so bad.However my pain is minimal.My energy level is non existing,but I noticed that when I feel depressed my physical pain is way less.
    Oh I just don't know,I have never felt this terrible.
  2. Engel

    Engel New Member

    I am so sorry hun. I am feeling pretty much the same way (depression ... FM ... menopause ... looney toons). Gosh this stuff really takes a toll on us. I am hurting really bad in my left hip ... like it could go out on me. We have a rough storm system moving through. Have you gotten any counseling? I am going to a shrink Tuesday. I don't think I am nuts but I do need help with all of these life changes I am going through and I want a shrink to handle my antidepressants from now on. I was diagnosed with clinical depression over 20 years ago. That is when the FM stuff began. Interesting coincidence??? Well i will "play the game" and get counseling. In the meantime ... I have been officially diagnosed with FMS, OA & DDD ... hmmmmmmm. Gosh I can't imagine "depression" causing ARTHRITIS and Degenerative Disc Disease can you? Are you taking pain meds and an anti-depressant? I find the anti-depressant keeps me from totally losing it.
  3. poeticbobbi

    poeticbobbi New Member

    I am on elavil to help sleep at night,but nothing else cause I breakout and itch from almost everything they have tried me on.But like you I think it is time to talk to a shrink.I have a doctors appointment Monday so I'll get things rolling from there.I know now that I gotta have some meds and help with this.Cause I just want to get in my bed and stay there til about 2010 or so.I am still really silly but can't seem to muster a smile.
    My boyfriend is not helping,he's in a state cause he swears I'm creepin with my ex.But that is awhole nother story.When you are ill most of the time you'll bend any listening ear and the ex is just an ear.
  4. Engel

    Engel New Member

    I take meds and still feel lousy ... I really feel for you. You are in my prayers too. ;-) And do not hesitate to vent on here. My left breast is killllllling me too (along with left hip). I went off all meds but my anti-depressants a few weeks ago ... now I am back on even more than before. It is terrible to be dealing with all of this FMS pain and menopause too. NO ONE told me menopause would be like this. I thought my problems were possibly due to menopause too but now I know better. I am accepting my fate ... filing bancruptcy ... and getting ready to file for SSDI as soon as my STD runs out (August 12th). I am down to 60% of my income. LTD will drop me down to 50%. I have no assets ... lol. I guess I need to find out what SS considers ASSETS? I am single so I have no other income or support.
  5. poeticbobbi

    poeticbobbi New Member

    Findout what will be considered assets cause they can be real crazy.It is like they expect you to have nothing and live off less than nothing.I am on SSI because there was a gap in my work history (1 years during a difficult pregnancy).So they say I didn't have enough consecutive work credits.It is hard to get by.I got more going out than I do coming in.Somehow God keeps makin a way.
    So with FM,asthma, pitting edema of the feet and ankles and then financial woes I suppose that is the makings of a BIG STINKY POT OF DEPRESSION.
    Good thing though,I feel my stubbornness kicking in,which means I'll be having a bit of an attitude rather than crying.I can work with that,Im home alone for now so no one can get offended.
  6. Ginner

    Ginner New Member

    Did all read

    "Dread being invited out" ? thread - 4/26

    It was so comforting for me!
    Maybe it will help you too, hope so!

  7. joeb7th

    joeb7th New Member

    You are.

    Think about it.

    How many people in this country could get through what you are going through?

    Let no one in this country ever down-play these auto-immune diseases and the heroic effort it takes to live with them day in and day out for years.

    But your brothers and sisters here on this board know exactly what you are going through and we are here for you.

    Just wish there was some other bigger way we could help you.
  8. bobbycat

    bobbycat New Member

    Boy, the days and the nights I have spent like that. My husband will walk in the bedroom and I will tell him I am crying over a movie or something else. But, sometimes I just cry myself to sleep. Ohhhhh sleep. I love when I can go to sleep and not wake in the night. Why does the day go so slow but the night go so fast. I always ask myself that question. I even ask my husband that question. Doesn't make sense. Do I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself yes. No. I think we have our real down days. Family, well I think all family's have some issues. Lets face it there are not to many Leave it to Beaver families out there (this ages me.) You may not know who the Beaver is. I found when the family gets on your nerves too much get caller ID (if you can afford it.) What a blessing that is and if you can't move away from your family you can always tell them you moved and send them a post card (the last one is a joke. I think.) Why do we get so depressed? I think there was a list on the message board somewhere as to why. Does it come and go. Yes. Will yours pass. Yes. I think people with FMS are stronger then they think they are as I think it takes a strong person to deal with the pain we deal with. You will get through this as I am sure you have in the past. So, "when you walk through a storm hold your head up high and don't be afraid of the dark."
  9. poeticbobbi

    poeticbobbi New Member

    Thanks joeb and everyone else.Im hangin in there.Where am I hangin in I don't really know (smile)
  10. mebonlybecky

    mebonlybecky New Member

    Hi Poeticbobbi,
    I know how you feel, I have my days too like that where I think this is the worst day i have ever had for feeling down and depressed. I know more I sit there the worst it will get. I have so many thoughts run threw my mind of feelings on different subjects I am moved on, during my bad days (crying days) And it might be because of my Fibo, or the kids, or my (cough cough ex ) lol or the lost of my little brother, and alot to do with my oldest so far away that I am so very clost to.
    So about a year ago, I dont know what made me do it, but in an early morning when I was sitting outside crying, I got my lap top, and wrote something, that I was feeling at the time.
    Since then when I am thinking of my oldest to, the other kids, or what ever might be going on in my life at the time, tha ways heavy on me. I sit and write. wouldnt really say they were poems of ryming, just a way to get out what is racing threw my mind.
    I have found that threw this, fibo, my mind sometimes race, dont know if anyone else have that or not.
    I am by noooo means a good gramer person, but i have trust some good friends that are teachers I work for, and they say I need to publish them.
    But reading these post on here of storys and feelings of others, this should be published as well. Maybe then the goverment will relize there is a MAJOR problem that is being just pushed under the rug.
    Please go and keep finding the right meds to help the depression, I KNOW... that more you are depressed, more you hurt. Try just putting into words how you feel, maybe in some way it will help you.
    I am on cymbalta and it seams to work a little better for me. I was always one that hated to take meds. and now I feel that I am soon to catch up with the amount my mother (soon to be 70) takes. lol I had a hiserectomy 4 years back, so i dont have all the menopause crap, not really sure if it hits someone that had all the pipes taken out as much as others.. lol lol
    but hon please hang in there and you can do it!!!!
    Helps so much to talk, and not to keep it bottled up in side you. I know, I can raddle on as you can tell.. lol

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