JOB DESCRIPTION FOR BEING A MOTHER:

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by stinker56, Oct 29, 2005.

  1. stinker56

    stinker56 New Member

    POSITION: Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma

    JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication & organizational skills & be willing to work variable hours which will include evenings & weekends with frequent 24 hour shifts. Some overnight travel required including to camp sites on rainy weekends & endless sports events in far away cities. Travel expense not reimbursed.

    RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily until someone needs $5.00. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Must be willing to face technical challenges such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets & stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate multiple homework projects. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and an embarrassment the next. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Position also includes floor maintenance & janitorial work throughtout the facility.

    POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years without complaining, constantly restraining & updating your skills so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

    PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

    WAGES & COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises & bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. the oddest think about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it & wish you could only do more.

    BENEFITS: While there is no health or dental insurance, no pension, no paid holidays & no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth & free hugs for life if you play your cards right!

    Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did!
    Stinker56
  2. jbennett2

    jbennett2 New Member

    and oh so true!
  3. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Thanks for the laugh! I enjoyed it!

    Remember to add in your POSITION description: "Mum" for our British friends!!

    P.S. Even though the BENEFITS were quite rewarding, I opted for a little better wage .... that's why I decided to be a working mom!