JODIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by doxygirl, Feb 8, 2006.

  1. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    Hi sweetie,
    How are things going? I posted to you last night and tried to bump until I went to bed but I guess you didn't catch it before it got lost! LOL

    If you have a few minutes please fill me in on how your doing ok?!

    I also have another question for you??????????LOL

    Love you Doxy
  2. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

  3. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i am here...i hope i can get you online here...

    update, i am doing less crying and feeling bad for myself..
    i had a chance to talk a neighbor friend ear off..she is 54 years young...been there done that...very bright...

    i know i hadnt said everything to you about the ex and i...but one other thing i left out was that he is severly dyslexic...
    very intelligent but he doesn't feel that way...his parents who are both retired school teachers from the late 60's...

    well the point is they both would make comments to him growing up saying he was lazy, stupid, dumb and make remarks about him like why can't you be more like your brother....he has felt like he was the black sheep or the odd one....he didn't learn to read until he was in 6th grade..his teacher then figured it out and introduced him to comic books..which he collects to this day...he is very well read...he can't spell very well or puncturate very well...but he made in life so to speak...he couldn't do math very well either...tied his shoe laces inside out...

    he said he hates his pipefitters job that he started nearly 5 years ago...now he will be a journeyman come june..and he can not see himself doing it for another 20 years...he always wanted to be a cop..well he did get his criminal justice degree a.a....but he was 19 year old when he got it back in michigan...he had one year to find a job before his ceriification expired...well you needed to be 21 to carry a hand gun...so anyways he joined the coast guard because he thougt it would be close to policework..which it is..

    anyways go out of c.g...applied for customs and ins and dea and fbie...and to work for the d.a.v..disabled american vets..
    well he found out he needed to go back to his doctor for a note saying he was not allergic to animal dander...well he just quit at that point...

    then he was working in the bikini bar way mor money than law enforcement..low self esteem...bla blah blah...

    so still to this day he feels he never been able to life his life, he flet he always had to do whatever his mother said, uscg and me...he said he had always blamed everyone for that and he is trying to figure out why...he said the psychologist said he treats bums off the street better than the people that love him most...told him he will never be able to have a lasting relationship w/anyone...so he said he needs to figure out why...he said he doesn not know what he wants but friends for now for sure...and hey maybe he said he would take me on a cruise...i am not counting it...also he said he wants to go to dinner and do things and spend holidays together....oh on the cruise he said, maybe we can find eachother someone...i think will pick my own..

    so after talking to my neigherbor friend, she said give him his space let him figure out whatever it may be...and she said this comes down to him and his low self esteem and also he was notified in november that his blood pressure is in the highest stage like 180/120..and higher///he is not overweight at all...but heart disease runs in his family, his dad had a double bypass when he was 52 years old...tracy will be 40 in june of this year...

    he told me he has cheated on everyone he has been with..i asked who, he said me, jodie for one, then i said who else, he said barbie and jennifer, i said they both had affairs with you and they both new you were married to begin with...i said who did you cheat on jen with he said me...

    so anways i put 2+2 together, when he moved out back in 2001, he said he was moving in with jennifer, 25 year old...they were just roomates...i bleieved him because i met her lesbian lover, tonja...about 2 years before.....

    so i put together when he was takign me out to a valentines dinner before he moved out the end of march...he brought up her name of how she got a new boyfriend...and i question him i said i thought she was gay,,,he said she goes both ways...

    so i was getting mad yesterday and today...about how low this was fo him...and i ended up in the emergency room right before he left for her...i was passed out on the floor blue ..pruple from head to toe...was was taking a shower and i did not want to go to work...i hadn't slept for days been crying not eating...i was taking welbutrin...he was coming home late, well i know why for sure now...

    well i need to tell myself that he has a problem and it is not me..but i do get p.o. when i think about this and how he feels like he never go to live his own life...he even told a male friend at the gym that we both worked out at the he was seeing someone...i just wonder if that was his way of hoping i would find out...my ex always thought that joe and i would get together...maybe he was hoping so he wouldn't feel so gulity...well joe and i did..but he doesn't ever want to get married and he he snot the faithful type, he cheats on his girlfriends also..

    i think how the heck would he like it if i said here is cody i gone i need to go live my own life and i can not do it with a child....?

    so i will get through this somehow and some way///i need to focus on myself as much as possible....

    i realize he is getting some help supposedly i have not seen proof of paperwork..but if it helps him then fine and maybe it will help his son...and as far us him and i don't know anything at this point..if their will ever be an us...something deep down is saying there will be but i dont now if it is because i want to believe there will be....

    he said the cousleor said he doesn not have a drinkking problem but he drank because of the guilt he was having...he did get a dui...i left his hiney in jail and did not bail him out...the little 25 yr., did..he was brought up on coneld weapons because he did not renew his cetifiacation...the judge did drop it except for the drinking part...

    anways i had to go to work and my son needed to go to roller hockey..he was having everyone calling from the bar saying how tracy wanted me to bail him out...i said nope..he is an alcoholic and i have to go to work and take care of our son....

    i said have the bar owner bail out...well the bar owner wouldn't bail him...then tracy got fired right before he moved out and so did his little honey...

    i know why now he was messing w/her and the owner found out....the owner tom loved me and was pissed the he did that the first time to me...tracy came home one night and said i don't know what you did to t.j(tom,) but he had closed the bar down early and poured champagne for everyone and got on the stage and said he had met the most beautiful, intelligent down to earth women in his life and he said if tracy ever cheats on his wife jodie again he will personally have to deal with him and i will fire him...that felt so good....


    we would all go to reno and go gambling and have a good time...i never danced in places like that...so i had more respect from these people....when i would call the bar the bartenders were saying why don't i come donw there...well they wanted the cat out of the bag...

    so doxy if he were ever to want to come back to me he has to be a whole real man!...yes it hurts when you married one thing and it turned out to be another...

    but i need to value myself more...

    i will post again after this.., so you can get started reading this..

    jodie
  4. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i had regular appointment on monday...so that will help...i need to start being selfish myself in a good way and not give to tracy....

    he wants to be friends but right now i dont know if i can or want to...i feel like i will be hurtting...but then i wanted to let him write cody off on his taxes so maybe he could get a refund...reason being if there is a refund then it goes to child support arearages....

    i really don't have to file taxes but if i do i only get back 250.00
    i was thinking maybe i would call him up and tell to let me do the taxes and if it looks liek there will be a refund i will et him take cody as exemption....

    not trying to be nice to him...but i get 2 things out of these...i will get copy of his w2's and will no how much he earns on paper not counting the tip money from the bars and side jobs of security he makes...then i go give it o my attorney so we can modify the childsupport....

    i have to get what i can fro now....


    thanks doxy for your support and kind words....

    i posted on your loan docs...iwould call them in the morning and find out..they should know by the end of this week i would think...they will be able to better let you know...plus i don't know if you can have ti direct depositied in you bank account i have seen it done both ways...so maybe that would expediate the funding...

    write back if you want to...

    jodie
  5. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

  6. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    it always helps to talk to someone that has been there done that....

    this really something i have been trying to do myself, basically told hi he nees to seek therapy...and if we were going to reconcile then we both need to do this the right way fo ourselves and cody...

    so it is finally happening...i have not asked for proof of paperwork...but i do need to take care of myself first then cody....i have been a giving person and caretaker of all...child of an alcholic father...that is my nature...father molested me at the age of twelve if not before then...so i leanred to keep my mouth shut until i was 35 years...

    so since i said something to my mother when i was 35...there was a period of about 2-3 of not speaking...now it has ben over 6 months again...because i brought up the fact that my son did not want to go to there house last summer...and the whys' came up and i told my mother...and she said she had to get off the phone...so then i heard from my sister that she considered me dead just like my other two brothers...i say 3 out of 4 children can't be wrong....

    so i have heald things in side for many years and then i would finally let it out i would be very verbal...and i didn[t like that side of me...so sought therapy and was dx w/the firbro...so know i have an understanding of my actions...mood swings...i was seeing my family docotr way bac when 20 years ago for pms...

    well i have learned to control my actions and never verbally called my son negative things...but i would get bitchy at times...now it is mom have you taken your pill? or like if i take a flexerall i will forwarn him that this is not a good time for i had taken my pill...i rarely take it for this reason..plus i really don't get much relief from it...

    so i will take care of myself needs for my personal growth....i am thinking about calling about the ticket to work program and see what they can offer me in regards to helping out with getting real estate license....or i can just pay to takeit myself...but i may have other things they may beable to help out with like computer, cards, clothing i doubt a car or maybe auto insurance...if they can not do much i will persue it myself i know what to do....plus i need to renew my notatory comminssion plus there is a class i want to take to add to my business card...notary signing agent...it puts me on a national website and in the bay area there are a few companies that will hire you for 50$ a signing at the titile companies...andi had set in one day with someone here and they were having a slow day of only 10 signings...he partner had 14 that day...so that isn't bad money and it is not too stressful...

    how are you doing?


    jodie your loving little friend
  7. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i got to go pick up cody from track, i am going to try to make ti to a group meeting that starts at 5...don't know if i can...

    jodie