Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Cinlou, Oct 28, 2006.

  1. Cinlou

    Cinlou New Member

    Hello Joe,
    When I read your post to me, it gave me such chills, the jeans...I really almost did not type that because was afraid it would sound weird. I am glad that you validated this for me...

    I am so sorry you had such an awful childhood, no wonder you have such a heavy heart,and carrying this pain for so many years...I am so sorry for you....

    Do you go to someone that can listen to you??? I think this would help you so much. I had a stepfather that sexual abused me, I have just finally been able to go to a therapist and talk about this..

    My physical pain is real and I am sure yours is too. Did you know that the body has memory? Pain and emotions are kept in our cell memory and when we experience these emotions it is the "original" hurt that we feel over and over again. This can cause real disease, or dis-ease..

    Do you have triggers, for example smells that bring on certain emotions or memories for you? I know I do, sometimes a smell will hit me and bring back that dread or feeling of panic when I was a child. I think we can be so overwhelmed by these triggers it causes illness, it is our bodies response to these horrible memories, and we feel these over and over again.

    For me I believe confronting these issues will help heal me, maybe not get rid of the DDD or the high blood pressure I have had since I was 24, but I know I can get piece of mind and heal my soul of its emotional pain...and that would feel so go to have piece of mind, lifting the heavy feeling in my heart.

    I am trying not to blame myself for the abuse. I was only an innocent child and so were you, Joe. We are so worthy of health, happiness and piece of mind and all the joys of life, for we are beautiful people able to love and be loved.

    There is a book called, "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die"
    that has been helpful to me. It talks about the energy of feelings, and emotional response, cell memory.

    Joe I wish you health and piece of mind...

    ((((HUGS)))) :) Cindy

  2. joeb7th

    joeb7th New Member

    yes, I am seeing a therapist. Started going to one during this illness.

    And one powerful thing. My wife is from LA. She thinks this place is paradise and I never really told her how much terror and sadness I exerienced here. ( didn't want to scare her off )

    But somehow we have ened up renting a home for many years next to my childhood "HELLHOUSE"...Just two blocks away. I still have nightmares about that house! The fears and sadness I felt in that house...cannot be adequately explained in words on this board.

    I often think that whoever lives in that house must see ghosts in there. The spiritual pain that existed in that home for 10 years and more was so powerful. It would make you vomit if you were to actually feel it.

    So you and others may wonder, why not leave? Understand things are usually so complicated. One reasosn is my wofes job. She is the main supporter of the family. She loves it here. And if you were to see our little rental and where it is located, you would want to live here. You can hear the waves carshing at night, smell the salt air, hear the sea gulls singing, the seals barking. For anyone else this is a dream come true place to live.

    But it is also one of the most expensive., We are so poor and in debt...we can't afford to pack up and go. And my wife can't take the heat anywhere else.

    Love my wife, have nightmares about where I live, and yet, I love the ocean too. See what I mean about complicated?

    It takes me forever to start anything new in my life, but eventually I do try these things, so all suggestions I have gotten from so many generous souls on this board will eventually be given lots of thought and many of them will be tried. It takes time to change one's entire lifestyle of thinking, eating, acting out. Thanks again. JB, the 7th son. Thought that was supposed to be lucky.
  3. Cinlou

    Cinlou New Member


    I see that you do have the trigger's being so close to the house of "Nightmares"
    It sounds like you have been blessed with a wonderful wife and family, I think she may be your "Angel"

    I know this is not my business, you don't need to reply (I knew you were the 7th son, lucky guess?) where are your siblings, are they plagued with illness also? No girls...The 7th son, I thought was suppose to be able to have gifts of healing,
    wake the dead, etc. (Johnny River's song).

    Your art is a gift, you need to could be a form of journaling for sounds very healing...your art could help children, don't you think? My therapist told me to draw, I had mentioned I used to draw and write poems.

    Have you ever heard of Reiki?? I would like to send you some, at a distance, if that is ok?

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