JOKE & QUOTES: 4th/JULY - corny/funny/serious- something for all

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, Jul 3, 2008.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    What did one flag say to the other flag?
    Nothing. It just waved!

    What was Thomas Jefferson's favourite dessert?
    Monti jello!

    Teacher: "Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?"
    Student: "I think it was Thomas Jeffer's son."

    What did King George think of the American colonists?
    He thought they were revolting!

    Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
    At the chopping mall!

    What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?

    What was General Washington's favourite tree?
    The infantry!

    Which colonists told the most jokes?

    What would you get if you crossed Washington's home with nasty insects?
    Mt. Vermin!

    What dance was very popular in 1776?

    Which one of Washington's officers had the best sense of humour?

    [This Message was Edited on 07/04/2008]
  2. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Beer commercials are so patriotic: 'Made the American Way.'
    What does that have to do with America?
    Is that what America stands for?
    Feeling sluggish and urinating frequently? --Evelyn Waugh

    This war will not be over by the next commercial break
    --US spokeperson talking to reporters during the Gulf War

    The right to freedom being the gift of God, it is not in the
    power of man to alienate this gift and voluntarily become a slave.
    --Samuel Adams

    Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there,
    no constitution, no law, no court can save it.
    --Judge Learned Hand

    Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.
    --George Bernard Shaw

    America will never be destroyed from the outside.
    If we falter and lose our freedoms,
    it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
    --Abraham Lincoln

    The whole art of government consists in the art of being honest.
    --President Thomas Jefferson

    Patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels.
    --Mark Twain

    A politician will do anything to keep his job-- even become a patriot.
    --William Randolph Hearst

    You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
    --Erma Bombeck

    I have always been among those who believed that the greatest freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking.
    --Woodrow T. Wilson

    There, I guess King George will be able to read that.
    --John Hancock, after signing the Declaration of Independence

    [This Message was Edited on 07/03/2008]
  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    said, "Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty."

    The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country.

    A. Lincoln

  4. texangal81

    texangal81 New Member


    Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose
    Nothin', don't mean nothin' hon' if it ain't free.
  5. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Freedoms just another word for nothin left to lose,
    And nothin left was all she left to me,

    Feelin good was easy, lord, when bobby sang the blues,
    And buddy, that was good enough for me.
    Good enough for me and bobby mcgee.

    Kris Kristofferson

    In One Day at a Time Kris set his 12 step program to music.

  6. victoria

    victoria New Member

    LOL but I don't think that kind of freedom is the same as what our revolutionists would've wanted... gee, lots of nuances to language, huh?

    Another 'cute' thing: a muppet segment if you have kids:

    As we all celebrate the birth of our country by blowing up a small part of it... (Homeland Security will probably be knocking at my door any minute noe, eh?)