Jokes-7 Reasons Not To Mess With A child

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Crispangel66, Feb 16, 2006.

  1. Crispangel66

    Crispangel66 New Member

    A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
    The teacher said it was physicallly impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
    The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
    Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
    it was physically impossible.
    The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
    The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
    The little girl replied, "Then you can ask him."


    A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.
    She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
    As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what her drawing was.
    The little girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
    The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
    Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."


    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
    After explaining the commandment to honor thy Mother and Father, she asked, "Is the a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers, and sisters?"
    Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."


    One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
    She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
    She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mommy?"
    Her mother replied, "Well, everytime you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turn white."
    The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Mommy, how come all of grandma's hairs are white?"


    The chilren had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture...
    "Just think how nice it will be to look atit when you are all grown up and say, "There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer, or "that Michael, He's a doctor."
    A small voice at the back of the room whispered, "And there's the teacher, "She's dead."


    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter cleared, she said, "Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..
    "Yes," the class said.
    "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
    A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."


    The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
    At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
    The nun made a note and posted on the apple tray:
    "Take only one, God is watching."
    Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate ship cookies.
    A child had written a note, "Take all you want, God is watching the apples."
  2. EgyptStarr

    EgyptStarr New Member

    Those are absolutely Great! Hilarious!

    Thanks so much for sharing!!!

    I had read the Jonah one before, but all the others were new to me. I especially liked the one with the little girl drawing God and the one that said, "Cause your feet ain't empty!"

    I copied these and emailed them to some friends. Thanks again!


    Hugs!
    Starr


    [This Message was Edited on 02/16/2006]
  3. crumpton

    crumpton New Member

    I loved these and passed them on to my family and friends. I know now why I eat cookies because God is watching the apples!