Jokes from childhood

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by rockgor, Dec 8, 2006.

  1. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Tony Randall was once talking to Mike Nickols about show business anecdotes. Mike said something about nobody's heard 'em all. So Tony wrote up a collection of them in his book "Which Reminds Me".

    In other words, it's a collection of old but funny stories.

    The other day something on a humor website reminded me of the first joke I learned as a kid. It was a riddle:

    What's black and white and read all over?

    Answer: A newspaper.

    Of course, it's only suitable for telling (not writing)because of the different spelling of "red" and "read".

    I used to ask that riddle of people w/o really getting the joke.

    What old jokes do you remember? Bet some of them are still around today, maybe modified a little.
  2. mrdad

    mrdad New Member

    ---things to do, but..... Riddle: When is a door not a


    ANswer: When it's AJAR! HA-HA-HA??

  3. Seeseaisme

    Seeseaisme New Member

    My older brother was very naughty about practical jokes, so he would phone our local smalltown grocery and ask if they had Raleigh in a can (tobacco) and of course they'd say yes. So he says, better let him out, he's smothering.

    I know it's corny, but I was only about 7 and thought it was most hilarious.
  4. sisland

    sisland New Member

    Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side!! Lol and " Mam your fridge is running" "oh yes i better go and catch it" Lame i know but something.
  5. dononagin

    dononagin New Member

    Why did the squirell sit on the stump???





    Because they cut down the tree!!!!

    hahahhahahhahahahahah!!!!! ( I kill myself!!) hahahhahah!!!
  6. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Why do firemen wear red suspenders?

    Why do the birds fly south?

    What goes up the chimney down but not down the chimney up?


    To hold their pants up.

    Too far to walk.

    An umbrella

    Seems like they're all members of the riddle family.
  7. teacher

    teacher New Member

    Who's there?


    Banana who?

    Knock, knock!

    Who's there?


    Banana who?

    Knock, knock!

    Who's there?


    Orange who?

    Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
  8. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Hey, that's a good one. Never heard of a dream joke before.

    I remember "Orange you glad etc." now that it was posted.

    Door ajar. I thought of that a week or two ago when I saw "ajar" in a crossword.

    Here's an old riddle that came to mind.

    What time is it when the clock strikes 13?

    Why, it's time to get the clock fixed. Nowdays we don't fix much of anything so it's probably time for a new clock.
  9. kriket

    kriket New Member

    What is black, white, and red all over?


    What is the loudest part of a tree?

    THE BARK!!!

    HEEE HEEE!!!

  10. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    What is black and white and red all over.......

    A Zebra in a blender ......OR.....a Skunk with diaper rash.

    Boooooooooo Susan

  11. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    Why did the little boy throw a stick of butter out the window?




    He wanted to see butterfly!

    Why did the elephant wear tenny shoes?




    Because nineies were too small and elevenies were too big!

    Well that thats all folks!
    For now........
    Take care and Kitten Hugs,
    Blessed Be,

  12. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    and his Book of Riddles. I can't remember much of it now, but I remember he had funny book titles.....such as "Over the Cliff" by Hugo First. Wish I could remember more of them!
  13. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    I;ve always loved jokes, but have always been terrible at telling them, punchline never seems funny coming from me.

    Nowadays, I forget them as soon as I've heard them.

    enjoyed them all.

  14. AnneTheresa

    AnneTheresa Member

    Q Why did the moron throw the clock out the window?
    A Because he wanted to see time fly

    Q Why did the moron bring a ladder to school
    A Because it was high school

  15. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    What is red and white on the outside and gray on the inside?
    (scroll down)

    Campbell's cream of elephant soup. ALSO:
    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Cows goes
    Cow goes who?

    You're close......because Cows goes Moo,,,,,============