Just broke down this morning and cried

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by risinforce, Nov 30, 2005.

  1. risinforce

    risinforce New Member

    I'm so tired of waking up every day w/burning in my legs and cyatic pain that is crippling. On the way to work today (I usually pray) I just begged god to give me one day that was pain free. Just balled my eyes out. All I asked for was one day.

    I'm just tired of it. The pain is so overwhelming. My meds don't cut it unless I double up and then I always run out. This is every single day. Never a break. I sleep w/a heating pad and heating lap blanket wrapped around my legs, I prop myself so i can't lay straight on my back or on my side so I'm kindof half and half. My disc is herniated and slipped at my L5/S4 as well as having FMS.

    I'm able to make it stop by double or trippling my meds and chasing them w/a coke or pepsi. But that only leads to a visious cycle of running out too soon and then battling w/my doctor.

    I'm exhausted with this. How can I convince my doctor on how bad my pain is? Have her spend the night w/me? Have her live in my body for a day? I don't know what to do. I get to see my old pain doc next week and need to let her know about this nightmare but I just hate the feeling that they all think we are crazy or need to just deal w/it. I can't anymore. I've actually begged gotten so bad that I've asked god to just take me out of here more than once. I could never do it myself (I have a little boy that I would never do that to) but I have asked god to just bring me home where I won't feel it anymore.

    I know that's hitting bottom and I've told my family doc about feeling like that, she said get into counceling. I felt like saying, "how about helping me more w/my pain so I don't have to feel like this!" Anyway, sorry for carrying on today.

    Just not feeling good and needing to talk. Thanks for listening.

    Hugs to all.
  2. hoodnanny

    hoodnanny New Member

    i just hurt when i read your letter....i know where you are coming from.....when the feet and legs hurt, there seems like nothing in this world that can help....i have had that problem....i can walk now, whereas i could not. the relief i got and abled me to walk was the doctor giving me predisone....wonderful and wicked med....i was in much pain..now i am not..the med took the imflamation out of the feet and legs, but i put on about 25 lbs..i am free of pain, but cant get into clothes....

    i wish for you to be able to find someone..and like chocolat said. my TRAUMEEL will be in today and i am so excited about taking it...the gel works wonders to...try one or the other and see what it can do for you...i hope that could be your answer...i feel your pain as i have been there. and i have cried to....it does hurt, two ways....body and the freedom that you loose to do things...even to driving a car...

    bless you ..

  3. Sachmo

    Sachmo New Member

    I am so sorry. I understand your frustration and anger. I've been there. I've hurt so bad that I did not know what to do.

    You have to talk to your doctor. Explain how bad it is. Fortunately my doctor is very understanding and we went through several groups of meds.

    I know everyone is different and what helps one doesn't always help another. Currently, I have tried Mirapex. Once I got past the flare from heck, after a week, I've felt better than I have in years. I have had days when I don't even take any pain meds.

    You have to keep on trying. You can vent here anytime because people understand what you are going through. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I hope you have some pain free time and I will say an extra prayer for you

  4. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    I'm concerned with you doubling and trpling meds.Pain meds often have tylenol in them and increasing the dose could damage your liver.Be careful,Linda
  5. Remnant

    Remnant New Member

    You can thank the DEA for throwing Dr.s in prison for 15-25 yrs for inadvertantly Rx-ing to drug addicts, who were NEVER in any pain and lied to the Dr.s to get Rx.

    Yes, that's a short version, but watch...it's only going to get worse. Soon all we'll be able to get from OUR Dr.s will be aspirin. Return of the snake oil.

    My friend is a pain management Dr. In Florida. She can no longer afford insurance, and has to post a notice and waver in her office advising patients of this fact...all because some idiot lied to her, and snorted cocaine w/ vicodin and killed himself.

    WHY the DEA is makeing life hard for good Dr.s and real patients is BEYOND my realm of comprehension. There was even a news story on my local news about all of this 3 nights ago! And watch, Ultracet will be scheduled soon due to addicts, any minute now. And THAT will be taken away from us too. AMAZING!!
  6. risinforce

    risinforce New Member

    I know my Tylenol limitations so no worries w/that. I can't do chiro or manipulation due to back and have actualy tried manipulation once and couldn't walk for a week. That was a mistake. I'm going to look up Traumeel and then suggest it next week. Never heard of it. I know that my cyatic pain is because of my disc herniation and that the same disc is also slipped whick means that it's not stacked straight. I also have scoliosis as well.

    fibro has always targeted my legs and I'm going to try sleeping minus the heat tonight and the rest of the week to see if makes a difference. I usually find that heat is my only relief during the day etc. Cold is intolerable for me. It flares me. Showering feels like needles hitting me (the water). My skin is just ultra sensative. I can hardly stand more than sweats most days.

    I appreciate your suggestions and support. I'm making a list for next week and plan to spill my guts out. She saw me go from ground 0 to around a 6 on the health scale before I had to stop seeing her due to insurance change. She will notice that I'm back at ground 0 again.

    Thanks again.
  7. darude

    darude New Member

    Leg pain here too and thats definately my worst symptom. None stop aching and then feels like walking o broken legs! New development here is chest pain on RIGHT side! Burning and stabbing there all the time. I too am getting days like Chocolat it all gets to be too much day in day out.
  8. sdown

    sdown New Member

    Hang in there! I'll say a prayer for you today and send a warm, big hug your way!
  9. kch64

    kch64 New Member

    You're in my prayers. My Heart is with you and you need new doctors.


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