Just dropping in again!!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by lilaclover30, Nov 15, 2008.

  1. lilaclover30

    lilaclover30 New Member

    I know that I haven't been around for a while. My world has turned upside down. My hubby is permanently in the nursing home. He is content and feels secure with his many illnesses. The nurses and aides are so very caring and look after any little thing wrong. (He has many things wrong too).

    The home is only 3 mi. from me and i go out every afternoon. But it is difficult at evening time. I go to our church fellowship at 8a.m. five days a week but since I am the "oldie" I don't get talked to much anymore. What has happened to the baby boomers that the elderly are boring. When I was that age, I loved to go visit my elderly friends!

    I get laundry. necessary things around ere, bills paid, all of those trhings that take time in your daily routine. I make dinner, read the paper so I can take it to hubby, go out there and come home. This seems to be my only puter time. Then its supper, shower, etc. robe and try TV or magazines. I long for close friends but those seem to be very scarce.

    Kids come often - what a blessing children are - Right now I long to go to WMart!!! have a list a mile long. Daughter has stocked pantry with things I might cook so i am OK that way.

    I truly dread that holidays - and how I use to love them!!! But alone in house takes away the joy of decorating, etc., cards. Gifts are to be some of our heirlooms and a note telling it's history.

    I have had 2 of the 3 shots in my bad knee and I do think that it will help. My FM isn't as bad as it was when I get out of bed, etc. but I do use a cane all the time. Gee, it's fun to get old!!!!!!!!

    It is lonely going to bed alone and knowing that it is permanent. My Maggie cat is always there to keep me company and try to wake me in the morn. Of course, sometimes, it is 2 a.m.!!!

    I just wanted to tell all of you dear friends where I have been and hope (just a wee little) that I have been missed.

    Oh yes, to make matters even worse, we have had to make pre-arrangements on our funerals!!!!! Have any of you ever done that??????? And even picked out my own casket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess that is part of life's rituals when finances are included!

    Yes, I know that is what some generations have cailled "gross".

    I love you all and will come back on a vol. sometime.

    Gentle Hugs,

  2. jole

    jole Member

    Hi there sweetie! It's good to hear from you....we miss you on the Porch....Seems like it's been quite awhile since you've visited.

    It's good to hear your hubby is doing as well as can be in the NH, and that he's happy there. I'm sure you must miss him terribly. Think I would find myself talking and then realize he wasn't there. Oh well, I have days when I talk to myself anyway..LOL..

    Sounds like your kids are doing well by you. That means you were a great mother and they respect you, not to mention love you. You're right, children are a true blessing! I would be lost without mine. There are times they do my WalMart shopping for me, and each of them call at least once a week.

    My one daughter has a definite gift of gab, and there are times when she absolutely wears me out just listening to her, but I would never tell her that! I think I know every expression each of her animals make just from listening to her! LOL. Each child is so very different....makes for a great time together.

    I can't believe you have great-grandkids...bet they're just as fun as the grands! Oh, and by the way, I love the idea of giving heirlooms as gifts! Would have loved that when I was younger, and may start that with my kids/grandkids. I'm also doing a "Grandma's Memory" book with stories from my childhood. I know very little about my parents families, and hope my grandkids are interested in our history in years to come.

    Well dear, it's good to see you dropping in, and will look forward to the next time. Please take good care of yourself!***Jole***
  3. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    You are a remarkable woman and the baby boomers would do well to learn from you and your life experiences. I am sorry your husband is in a nursing home but he will get good care and You can enjoy the time with him rather than be busy tending his needs.

    Blessings in the coming holidays. We older folks may not have what we want for the holidays, but we have memories that probably many of the younger ones may never have.

    Take time to recall the good years and revel in it.
  4. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Yes, we have been missing you on the Porch. I am so glad to hear from you and that things are going relatively well, all things considered, and that DH likes the Nursing Home. Yes, both Julie and Jole said some things that I was thinking about so I will not repeat them. At least you do not have to worry about having to try and take care of his medical and physical needs. It is especially hard when you too have pain and medical problems of your own. Of course you do miss him. That is very natural.

    No, we haven't done any pre arrangements for our funerals yet. However, I do know other friends of ours that already have done so. It is a good thing to do but we just haven't done so . It is not necessarily and exciting thing to think about but it will make it so much easier on your family.

    Oh, I think that older people have so many ways they can help others. It makes them feel good too if there is anything in their community that they could do or would be of interest to them. I know that you are older than I but I do not think by that much !! People tell me that I look so much younger than I am but I think I have good genes in that regard. My mother always looked younger than her age. She died at 93, and used to color her hair by herself to color the gray, until perhaps the last few years. I color mine to but go to the beauty shop now. I guess I have her skin. It makes you feel younger, I know. Perhaps there is something you could do (if you can find you have the time and feel up to it), perhaps at the church or other groups. If you could find something of interest, that perhaps could break up some of the days for you, maybe that would help a bit. I can just imagine how lonely it is for you as I have some friends who have ost their husbands. At least you can go and chat with him daily or most days.

    I am not surggesting that you try and find something for yourself to do on a daily basis - maybe just a couple times a week or so. That might be a little bit helpful. Like o for a bible study class or something like that. Anyone who ignores you or thinks you have nothing to give back is being totaly selfish. If they were your friends before and are not acting friendly, that is just mean and you do not need x friends like that. As they say, with friends like that who needs enemies. I can't figure anyone out who does that, young or older. Please try and take care of yourself amd try and take a little bit off time for yourself besides, the robe, slippers and TV, which is at least something good, I know).

    Yes, sweetie, please do take care of yourself and come and visit us on te Porch when you can.

    Missing your my dear !


  5. springwater

    springwater Well-Known Member

    Hello. Nice to to hear from you. Yes, we all missed you on the Porch. But relieved to know you and husband are doing well. What a relief your DH likes his nursing home and has adapted to it. Such a load off your mind too to know he is in good hands.

    You do seem to do a lot and get around quite a bit.

    Yes i agree having to choose your own casket sounds a trifle eerie...but then i suppose one has to look at it just the way one would make ones will. Its got to be done so might as well be done and over.

    Im very happy your children keep coming over, what a blessing that is...truly..you are lucky they are within visiting distance. And yes, the Maggie Cat. My goodness, what would we all do without our furry friends to cuddle and talk to and look after, or do they look after us?

    Be well

    God Bless
  6. fibromickster

    fibromickster New Member

    Yes, you are so missed around here, we all think of you all the time. I am so sorry about hubby having to stay at the nursing home permamently. You sound like you are keeping yourself busy and that is good.

    We go to church every Sunday and one of my favorite things to do is to stay around after church and talk to all the Elders. I just love all of them and they have such wonderful stories and I could listen to them talking for so long. My daughter also, who is 18, just loves the Elders at Church and they love her because she is so interested in talking with them, especially Euliss, he is her favorite. He is 83 and just adores my daughter. I wish we were close, I would love to come over and sit and talk with you for hours. I bet you have had a very interesting life and would love to hear all about it.

    You are very fortunate to have your family with them being so close to you.

    Take care Joan and come back as much as you can.

    Love ya,

  7. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Bumpity bump !!



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