just dx and scared

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Aabit, Aug 17, 2003.

  1. Aabit

    Aabit New Member

    ok, I was told, one week ago tomorrow that I have FMS. I go thurs for a surgery to take out my tonsils, part of my pallete and to fix the septum in my nose, until then they are not going to treat me. Meanwhile, as I said in another post, things at home are fallin apart, I am stressed cause the little things like wipeing down a wall with a piece of paper towel hurts so bad I want to just hit things scream, anything to make me feel better. Of course I havent done any of that cause I know that it will do me no good at all. I just sat in my room and bawled, I feel like my life has been taking away from me, I was finally happy in my life and now it is all falling apart. I am scared my husband will resent me even though he swears to me he will never leave me, will he be able to be this strong as things go on? I start out pissed with the additude of I WILL do this then once it is tooooo painful I get frustrated then I get bitter then I am upset and want to cry this is all in the matter of a few mins. I dont really have anyone to talk to other then my hubby who would listen for hours but I feel like I am burdening him cause I know that this is hard on him as well. I am sorry this is soo long and so self pitty sounding, I dont want pitty I just needed to vent and didnt know where else to go, I know that I will come to grips with this and maybe once the docs start treating me things will get better, It is just hard right now to see the rainbow through all the rain, thanks for listening :)
    Melenda XOXOXOXOXOXOX
  2. mq

    mq New Member

    You are reacting in a pefectly normal way.
    DO trust your dh. You will likely make things so much harder on him if you question his ability to stick with you. Be very, very grateful. And find ways you are able to meet HIS needs. But tell him how thankful you are he is willing to stick with you instead of doubting he will do it.

    Learn to pace, and when your body is saying "no". If I'd learned that years before I was sick, I may not be here now! What will happen if you don't wipe down that wall now. really?! Make a list, if things are bugging you. You can then deal with them when you are able. Eat some protein, take a bath or a nap. Be gentle with yourself. Contrary to how you used to function, you can no longer push yourself without being self-defeating. Wait until your body is ready.

    You probably know the more stressed you are, the worse your symtoms. Make a list of thing/people you are thankful for. How much do the things you are concerned about really matter for eternity? Or even next week? Does someone else's opinion matter enough to make you sick? I've had to begin to learn not to let things get to me.
    You likely won't feel like this forever. :) You will have a good day....or afternoon...and you can wipe walls to your heart's content. Until then, hire your child or a neighborhood kid to do it for you. Or look the other way. Learning to really rest has been hard for me. Rest, really rest.
    hth
    mq
  3. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    wow, I am not in the medical field at all, but that sure sounds like some serious surgeries, I would take the advice of Achybreaky and get a couple of other opinions before I would allow all that done!

    As for your husband, he sounds like a great guy, I have one like that too. Mine has been here for the 'longhaul' like someone else put it, we have been married 30 years, and I have FM for twenty of those years. He is still here and very supportive. I wonder how he does it sometimes.

    We all go through that stage that we are angry, frustrated, in denial, but we finally come to grips with this illness and learn to live around it and be happy too.

    You must learn to pace yourself and your activities, chores, and above all get your rest. Always stop what you are doing before you are exausted. Rest inbetween jobs, believe me you will last longer and be in less pain.

    I know you resent that kind of advice, so did I! But I learned to have a decent full life despite this illness and its limitation.

    Keep coming here, you will learn a great deal on how to survive and have a life even though you will have to give up some of the things you do, or learn to do them in different ways not to stress and pull muscles.

    Take care, and try to keep the stress down.

    Shalom, Shirl
  4. Aabit

    Aabit New Member


    I am 27 ,The surgery I am having is cause my tonsils are huge, they collect food in them and get gross pussballs in them, I have sleep apnea but I can not use the machine cause I becaome so ftuffy at night, my septum is almost completely blocking my left side of my nose, I stop breathing in my sleep about every 2 mins with my max stoping time being 35 seconds. I know from the research that I have done on that so far that it can cause lots of problems and make this FM worse cause I am always awake without knowing it. I went to two doctors who feel if they take out my tonsil and a small part of the palette we can open up the airway more, you can see when you look down my mouth how small the opening is. I will however look more things up on this. thank you.
    As for learning to pace myself I am sure that I will be able to get used to that it will just take time and I have to forget about what others think, when it comes to my house.
    As for the doctors starting any treatment, she is waiting to put me on any meds with hope that maybe just maybe the surgery and me breathing better will help some of the symptoms be less, I see her one week after surgery on the 2nd of sept.
    Thank all of you for your welcomes and suporrt,
    Melenda XOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOX
    [This Message was Edited on 08/18/2003]