Just feel like crying ...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by emgpeep, Nov 6, 2006.

  1. emgpeep

    emgpeep New Member

    I was diagnosed with FM and CFS three years ago and I've been able to manage pretty well until recently. Now ... I've hit the wall and I don't know what to do.

    I have great and understanding doctors, a wonderful husband, fabulous friends, and a relatively flexible job. The big "but", however, is that I feel like I'm gradually having to fade away from all the fun because if I overdo in the slightest I end up feeling like I've been hit by a bus.

    I know I have to accept this, but I'm really having a hard time doing so and setting more reasonable expectations (and limitations) for myself. At this moment, I just got over a good cry because I woke up feeling like I had the flu ... AGAIN ...and will probably have to cancel some things I'd really been looking forward to.

    Do any of you have suggestions on how I can handle this more gracefully???? I feel good about what my docs and I are doing for my overall health, but am really having trouble with the emotional side.

    Thanks in advance for any advice you guys can offer ...

  2. Ranigar

    Ranigar Member

    your having so much pain.I was dx last yr. although I know it was brewing for yrs. I'm afraid I can't offer much comfort other then to say it's a grieving process you go through.You'll come to acceptance and maybe something will happen in your life and you'll start back at denial or anger but just know your not alone.When you get more days in a week that your feeling more good then bad you'll feel like you won the lottery so acceptance will come and you'll learn little tricks to do a little more on good days and to not get down on yourself on the bad ones.That's what I've found anyway and I'm still a work in progress.
  3. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    have to agree.
    i still am in the grieving process,
    as i was always athletic and strong and now
    its like i woke up in another body..
    but when ever there is a good day
    it is like sooo wonderful!!
  4. emgpeep

    emgpeep New Member

    I really appreciate the support ... thank you for responding! Do you ever feel that you're letting your friends/family down? I used to be athletic, but I also used to be the "fun friend" and now I feel like I'm a drag. I'm the one who has to go home early or can't go at all. I'm the one who can't drink because I'm wiped out the next day. Blah, blah, blah. What do you tell your friends so they understand without giving them the whole gory story??
  5. Fredericka

    Fredericka New Member

    So I have accepted it and have already grieved for what is no more.

    However, there are times when I get angry. Mostly because of the non-understanding of 'family' or 'friends.'

    But most of the time, I am a loner. I had to quit work 4 yrs. ago, that was the hardest. But the last decade working just kept getting harder & harder.

    When I had fibromyalgia, it wasn't even called that yet, it was called fibrositis.

    I was told I was probably just depressed or that I had "Housewives Syndrome." Oh, I really loved THAT one.

    Thankfully, there is some recognition out there now, and at least a few people can even say the word fibromyalgia.

    Hang in there, just take one day at a time. One hour, one minute...whatever it takes to get through. If you have supportive family, that is 75% of the battle!!
  6. emgpeep

    emgpeep New Member

    I feel like I was being awfully whiny with my initial post and I hope I didn't come off that way! I appreciate that I'm so fortunate to have everything I DO have and I just need to start trying to focus on that instead of what I can't have.

    But I'm still glad I found this place where I can whine to others who know exactly what I'm going thru when I feel the urge!!

  7. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    over not being able to do things in life that I had plan to. This DD has left me very lonely at times because I can not do what I plan to.
    I was a stay home Mom which I wanted to be #1 thing I wanted to do in life.

    I had always plan when my children left home to become an silk flowers arranger with my own business. My hands just can not do the work anymore and I can not stand up long enough to be able to have a business.That I still grieve because I dreamed of being able to do it .

    I have learn to embrace this DD and accept my limits in order to cope with this dd. When I can I do arrangements for myself or maybe a friend. Before I got this DD Everything in life was great for me but I was dealing with a depression from a lack of serotonin that's why I got sick to begin with.A chemical imbalance that had nothing to do with anything making me happy or sad.

    Talk to your doctor it could be a chemical imbalance or even a hormonal imbalance.
  8. bluewing

    bluewing New Member

    still! And I found out about six years names for my fms and cfs. I cried to know there are others like me. It has been going on over 50 years and I'm to the point of very minimum cooking and housework. It has been 'you know what!' but with a new medicine things are getting a little more bearable. I still have melt-downs and have to be careful not to do too much (and get to that point.) There is much hope these days with people like Rich Carson working for us. Things are looking up!!
  9. emgpeep

    emgpeep New Member

    I am very fortunate in that I do truly have wonderful doctors and they are looking at the DD(I LUV that by the way!) in its complete effect on me; hormones, thyroid, etc., etc.

    I love to write, but haven't done it for so long; maybe I can try doing that again when I hit those down times ...
  10. llama

    llama New Member

    Sorry you are feeling so blue. I've had Fibro. at least 10 to 15 years. Had mild enough symptoms at first, to somewhat keep pushing through and being in a state of denial.

    Well, when you finally hit the wall, so to speak, and can no longer function, obviously you grieve for what you know you have to give up or at least drastically cut back on.

    My point is after all these years of missing out on vacations, parties, keeping the house as clean and as well decorated as I'd like etc., you'd think that I would get used to it, but I truly never do.

    Hate to admit, but I had myself a good little cry earlier today basically it was a bout of grief. Sitting in my chair, bored but having no energy to do anything else. Tired of TV, reading, tired of giving myself mental pep talks that "things really aren't that bad." Praying for acceptance of the life that I'm leading.

    Don't mean to ramble on about myself, but I think each of us here on the board, depending on the severity of our symptoms, can totally relate. There's not a one size/fits all answer. We all find a way to cope, but I think it helps to give yourself a break and know that somedays are just going to be "emotionally" painful and allow yourself to grieve.

    I don't think it would be normal if we didn't get angry or depressed b/c of the losses we endure.

    Sending you good and peaceful thoughts...Jill......
  11. emgpeep

    emgpeep New Member

    Wow ... I can't begin to tell you all how much better it makes me feel to know that I'm not alone in this whole grieving process. I still hate it. But I know all the rest of you hate it too. And I'm sure we'll all figure it out as we go along. Thanks for sharing.

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