Just had a fight with my EX and

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Aeronsmom, Jul 23, 2007.

  1. Aeronsmom

    Aeronsmom New Member

    he upset me so bad and know I have tightness in my chest and shortness of breath....I know it's not a heart attack....it hurts to take deep breaths in too....he started it..he called me and started yelling at me about our kids...he said I'm a bad mother and he wants to sue for full custody...... he said he is going to get people say that I am a bad mother and that I can't take care of my children because I am always either lying on the couch or in bed and that I am a pill popper!!!!!

    I feel like I am about to burst....

    Love to all, Ann
  2. joyfully

    joyfully New Member


    Well, yes and no.

    First, they will escalate. He will turn up the heat using the same approach. Eventually he will change the rules of the game and try a different manipulative approach.

    It will take time, but eventually he will get the message if you change your reaction.

    Why would you continue to stay on the phone when he is yelling at you? I don't get this. Just quietly say, "when you can talk in a civil manner, then I will listen to what you have to say. I'm hanging up now". Then HANG UP. DON'T JUSTIFY. DON'T respond to anything he is accusing you of. Get caller ID. Don't answer the phone when he calls you right back.

    DO record his outbursts because you may need evidence.

    Just because he wants to yell doesn't mean you have to listen to it. YOU have a choice. You can't control how he thinks, but you can control your reaction to his threatening behavior.
  3. sisland

    sisland New Member

    These Ladies are giving you very soud advice!! Maybe a Restraining order is also an option,,,For your protection and for you peace of mind!,,,,,,,,,,,,,Goodluck and let us know how your doin',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,S
  4. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    in my state i have found it is more beneficial not to have the children reside in your home on a full cusotody battle anyways financially...my ex sees the child most of the time but no vacation time like 2 weeks he is supposed to...and all the every other weekeneds..etc...like the agreement is supposed to be...

    we get the short end of the stick financially...then they get to have their life so full of no responsiblities, no school issues, or sports and friend stuff to deal with...

    he is full of hot air...he doesn't want full custody of the children, most father's don't...they can't have their fun when they want to...

    he is just making threats hoping you won't get more child support money...don't let that stop you from what you are entitled to...