Just in need of a hug today...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by hob, Mar 21, 2006.

  1. hob

    hob New Member

    I have been struggling like most of you here on the board. I have had a lot of successes in the past few months, but they don't seem to be adding up to much lately. Since January I joined weightwatchers and lost 13lbs, which is not easy with FMS, I have also begun yoga, acupunture, and focusing on my spiritual self. My husband and I got in a fight yesterday after visiting yet another doctor. He actually said that I wasn't trying hard enough to get better. It has crushed me. I am sure he didn't mean it as harsh as I took it, but I feel like I am giving health everything I can give. I am struggling with holding down my fulltime job and we could afford for me to go part-time, however he wants to save money to move to Florida from oregon. I tried to explain that though i would love to go I need to feel like i can manage my fibromyalgia. He thinks I can do it from anywhere, but here I just started with a specialist and things seem like they could get better because this Dr wants to help. How do I keep the faith that it will get better when he says one thing and does another and I give 110% to getting better already?...

  2. kriket

    kriket New Member

    GREAT BIG HUG FROM ME TO YOU. Sounds like your husband is not well educated on fibro. or either he is not very suppotive. Try to just relax. I know it's hard but all of this extra sress that you don't need will cause you to have a bad flareup and hurt worse. I am here for you and I totally understand your point of view.


  3. Mar19

    Mar19 New Member


    Here's another big (((HUG))) from me. I know the feeling all too well! Aw, heck! Here's another (((HUG)))

  4. RockiAZ

    RockiAZ New Member

    Can you feel the hugs? Hope so!

    I'm sorry that you have to go through all of this. Words can be so damaging because you can't take them back. Has your hubby read any info on-line, books, pamphlets, etc. about FM? Maybe his comments stemmed from frustration? It is NOT your fault you have this DD and it's not your fault for his reactions.

    For me, I do have support from my hubby, but have other family members and friends that make hurtful comments, so I understand how you must feel. I also practice Yoga and meditate - although it's not a cure-all, it helps. I wish I had better words of wisdom right now, but my brain is on the blink. Please know that we are all here for you. Hang in there!!!

    Live, Laugh, Love,

  5. kaiasmom

    kaiasmom New Member

    Sorry you're going through a tough time. I sure know how that goes. It is really hard when our loved ones make comments that hurt us like that. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you.

    My fiance has explained to me that he does not get upset with me about my illness, but gets frustrated with how it affects our lives. Sometimes it comes across to me as him being upset because I can't help out or whatever, but usually it's more general.

    As for moving to Florida, I would just caution you. From what I understand, it is very difficult to get opiates prescribed in Florida, so if that is part of your daily treatment plan, something to think about. For me, it would be a deal breaker, but for many would not matter, so just wanted to throw it out there.

    Take care,

  6. kch64

    kch64 New Member

    That makes me angry.....

    Was it your husband or your doctor that said you weren't trying hard enough to get well.

    Let me say this. I don't care how hard you try, sometimes the body doesn't want to do what you want it too.

    Like you have control over this? If we could wish this away, none of us would be here Heck, this board wouldn't even exist!

    I'm sorry that you were told such hurtful stuff.

    (((((((BIGGGG HUGGGS)))))))
  7. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    My husband doesn't get it either.

    Here's a great big (((((((((hug))))))))to you.

  8. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    You could probably give 200% and it would still be the same.
    I would do what is best for my health and let the chips fall where they may.

    And here is that (((((hug)))))

  9. spmary

    spmary New Member

    Dear Hob..of course you may have a hug. I'll bet you will get lots of hugs.(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))
    Come by anytime for hugs! We all need them.LOL,Mary
  10. hob

    hob New Member

    Hey All,

    Thanks so much for yesterday! I really did feel all your hugs and it got me through a rough moment. I really appreciate the fact that we have eachother and to know we are not a lone in all this.

    lots of love
  11. spmary

    spmary New Member

    Hi Hob,.Hope you are not sore from all the hugs. Well, heres another one:((((((((((((((((Hugs!)))))))))))))))))
  12. SusanEU

    SusanEU New Member

    Lots of hugs to you today,

    Hang in There


    Sue in Ontario
  13. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    these men that don't have it just don't get it...
    ithink they were to seeing us as youthful vibrant individuals full energy to do everything like thier mothers had for them when they were younger....

    it is true in most cases that women really do more multi-tasking in the homes...we get off work automatically start doing more work...maybe we go pick up the children at day care..then walk in the door and fix dinner...deal w/kids homework, maybe they are fighting....deal w/neighbor kids...

    then we clean up, pay bills, put the kids in baths, dress them , clean the house, the the toilet paper that the man didn't want to put on the roller...read books to the kids and then it might be lights out for the kids...

    men get home and sit down in front of the t.v. and wait for everything to happen dinner on the table...

    sometimes they work on the cars or take the trash out...i did it all myself..except the car..i would add oil and check..help change out things w/him..i mowed the lawn did the garden...and when i would ask for help

    well i was nagging....

    now divorced..he didn't get then and i am not too sure he gets it now...

    right you need him to back off and be supportive emotionally because he is causing you stress and that is not good for us at all...flares everything up...

    tell him to find a cure for you and you will both be million aires...