Just lost my son

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by cindysewstoo, Feb 22, 2010.

  1. cindysewstoo

    cindysewstoo New Member

    I've been lurking here forever, but haven't really posted much, if at all. But I just lost my son in a motorcycle wreck 3 weeks ago, and God was SO faithful to keep my fibro flares at an extreme minimum during the tending to the details. Now I'm back home, and I can hardly function because of the flare. The fog goes beyond anmything I can ever remember, and I think my back is just breaking. God is good, but this is too much to handle...
  2. lynncats

    lynncats New Member

    I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your son. My heart goes out to you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Just wanting to let you know that you are thought of. Hopefully, the fibro fog will clear soon.

    Big Hugs

  3. mbofov

    mbofov Active Member

    I am so sorry to hear about your son. I cannot imagine how devastating it must be. My prayers and thoughts are with you -

  4. wendysj

    wendysj New Member

    Hi Cindy,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your son. The members here are people with faith and can support you through this extreme heart ache. I, too, will keep you in my thoughts.

    I would love to be able to tell you what to take for the pain and fog that would help immediately but I don't know of anything... Time is precious for me when I enter a flare. Time will help the grief and heart ache as well.

    Stay strong... We're here to help.
  5. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    Please accept my condolences. I can't understand how you must be feeling. I have a 30+ son who has had 3 Harleys and is now on a Honda . I can't understand how he can love what I fear so much but if our boys are anything alike, they would say they died doing what they loved. So very sad and such a loss. To those of us left behind we shall forever wonder what we could have done, if anything .

    I think adreniline gave you the strength to deal initially, now the fibro monster will want his dues.
  6. hensue

    hensue New Member

    I know there are grief counselors someone who could help you. I do not think anyone could go through the death of a child alone.

    We are there for you and my heart hurts. Please continue to let us know how you are doing.
    All my prayers are for you and your family.

  7. aftermath

    aftermath New Member

    Sorry sorry for your loss.

    Parents are not supposed to bury their children.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
  8. FibroFay

    FibroFay New Member

    Please accept my deepest sympathy at the loss of your son. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this extremely difficult time.

  9. Gingareeree

    Gingareeree New Member

    My condolences to you and your family for the loss of your son. My Our Lord grant you His comfort and give you the strength during this most difficult time. My prayers for your peace and comfort.~~~Jeanne
  10. Debra49659

    Debra49659 New Member

    May God keep you wrapped within his healing light and loving arms, may he help carry this burden that you have been given. That he might give you the strength to meet each day and conquer it.

    Keeping you in my prayers,
  11. quanked

    quanked Member

    my condolonces. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you have family and friends around to share your grief with. Please treat yourself gently and kindly.

    When you are ready maybe you can tell us about your son. I cannot imagine the emotional pain you must be feeling. I have a son that I cannot imagine ever loosing.

    May you find the comfort you need. quanked

  12. nah.stacey

    nah.stacey Member

    I speak from experience when I tell you, "I know how your heart feels". I lost my son at the age of 14 in 2005, after years of watching him suffer with CP and multiple respiratory ailments. Even though I knew the loss was inevitable, no mother's heart is ever prepared for the loss of a beloved child.

    Such an abrupt loss as yours has got to be nearly unbearable. My heart aches for you and I can only tell you from experience that, though time may heal the immediate wound, it never fills the hole left in your heart.

    When my son passed away, I too was given the emotional strength from God to carry me through. I'm sure the adrenalin was in there somewhere, but at that point I don't think my adrenal was functioning anymore and it was by the sheer Grace of God that I was able to stand at my husband's side as we spoke together, hand in hand, at our son's funeral, one taking over when the other couldn't speak any longer.

    After the funeral and family and friends had drifted back to their own lives, my body went into a three month flare. It completely lost strength so I couldn't even get out of bed to go to the bathroom without laying on the floor half way there just to regain enough to get there. I was so sick and so week I begged God to let me come too. I pray that you won't come to this, but if you have the resources to do so, I suggest just lay back and let it flow out of you.
    The sorrow takes everything you have left and only time will bring you back.

    One thing that did help, was to talk to a grief counselor, or as I call it, "buy a friend". You need to talk to someone who isn't so close to the situation that you end up having to console them by the time you are done talking. You need someone outside of the grief to be able to help you see it, feel it, scream at it and eventually let it go enough to live again.

    There will never be a day you don't think of your son. There will never be a day you don't feel that pinch in your heart when you see his face in your mind. There will never be a day you don't grieve for the "what if", but then again, there will never be a day you weren't grateful for the time you had him, and the amazing gift he was in your life.

    I pray for comfort to your heart and soul. I KNOW that you will feel him near you for the next couple of months until he feels you are ready to really let him go. He will be there. Talk to him, tell him you love him, help him to know you will eventually be ok, tell him all the things you wanted him to know. Above all else, stay close to God. He is your only comfort in all things. He will be there to comfort you if you ask.

    God bless you and your family.

    When you say "you think your back is breaking", is this physical, or emotional from the immense burden?

    [This Message was Edited on 02/23/2010]
  13. AuntTammie

    AuntTammie New Member

    I am so, so, so sorry about your son......I can only imagine how awful that must feel and I really don't know what to say that would be helpful (& not just sound trite), but I do want you to know that I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers......{{{{{{lots of gentle hugs}}}}}}}
  14. JLH

    JLH New Member

    My condolences on the loss of your son. It's heartbreaking just thinking about it. I wish I lived close to you and could do something to help.

    My heart goes out to you and your family.

  15. gb66

    gb66 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my prayers. I hope you have family and friends to help you during this very difficult time. Please take care of your health the best you can and try to get some rest. Hugs, GB66
    [This Message was Edited on 02/22/2010]
  16. campbeck97

    campbeck97 New Member

    My heart is just breaking for you and your family and all I have to offer is words and prayers and it just isnt enough! I lost my oldest son at age 17yr. at the time of his death in a car accident 3 miles from our home.. It is the very worst pain you will ever endure, its like someone has reached into your chest and tore your heart out. I even considered suicide after losing my son, when God stepped in and gave me the comfort and peace and strength to carry on. I had to snap out of it as I had two other young sons that were grieving and missing their brother to and they needed their mom.I remeber looking out the window in a daze /fog and people were carrying on their normal lives laughing, going to school, work etc and I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs for them to all stop and realize what had happened to my babyand that i wanted hm back.of course no one uunderstand unless theyve lost a child.you may be feeling like life is over and you ll never be happy again but with Gods help you will have joy again it will be different, and you will always miss your babyand have that piece of your heart that is forever aching for your child but you will find the strength to go on and do the best you can because others need and love you.I developed fibromyalgia after Richard died and havent slept right since that day.Try to take care of yourself , thats the best thing you can do for your son, is take good care of his moma!Please come here and share if you want /need to anytime. I wish I could be with you just to cry, pray,give you a hug or sit in silence if thats what you need. Know that you and your family will be in our thoghts and prayer. God be with you and your and give you peace,comfort and strength. love in Christ Becky
  17. snowqueenuk

    snowqueenuk New Member

    So very sorry to hear of your loss but I hope that you can take some comfort in the knowledge that your son in safe with God and is waiting for the day that you all will be reunited again. I try to think of my loved ones who have passed over as being on a long holiday and that one day, when the time is right, I will catch up with them. Your son is safe and loved and totally at peace and somehow now you have to live out your life as he would want you to.

    Please use all of us on here whenever you need to and rest and look after yourself as much as you can.

    God bless you, your son and your family, take each day as it comes and rejoice in His love. xxxx
  18. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Cindy, I can't find the words for you at this time but my heart breaks for you.. I am so so sorry for what you must be going through. This is my worst nightmare something happening to one of my children. My prayers and love are with you. I do wish I had some words of comfort.

  19. Nanie46

    Nanie46 Moderator

    My very deepest sympathy to you.

    This is every parent's worst nightmare.

    May God give you the strength to get through each day, to find peace through the promise of eternal life in Heaven for your son, and where you will be reunited one day, and guide you to improved health.

    Praying for you, your son and your family.....

  20. astroherb

    astroherb New Member

    Just want to let you know that I am thinking of you in this very, very tough time. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Please be very kind and gentle to yourself and reach out for help if you need to.