Just need to post...thanks for being here

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by JP, Sep 5, 2002.

  1. JP

    JP New Member

    Good morning...it's a sunny California day...wish I felt sunny today.

    I feel pretty discouraged in this moment. I keep hoping that my concentration difficulties will just disappear. I do not recognize myself anymore. It's pretty isolating. I don't talk about it with anyone. I mention it to my doctor in passing...sure wish my concentration was better. She can't fix it...why waste my/her time on the subject. I had a great deal invested in my ability to reason, problem solve, write, research and so forth. I have a research project that I started about 4 years ago that needs to be completed by the end of the year. I have much riding on this project, not to mention a $32,000 loss if not complete. It is hard to believe that I am unable to pull this together. It just needs to be written and bound. All the really hard work was complete during the first year of the research. I spent the last 3 months staring at my computer. I don't have good days, bad days with my concentration. It is always the same now...blank and disjointed. I have ample time. I gave up my career about 9 months ago for health reasons. I'm 42 years old...should be in career glory by now. When I step back and look at the big picture, I see that I have a great life. I know that it is not the end of the world if this research expires. It just represents another lost dream. I used to go out and grab my dreams, now they float by. In fact, I hesitate to dream anymore if it involves the need for my physical and or cognitive ability.

    Thanks for being here and reading my post.
    Jan
  2. JP

    JP New Member

    Good morning...it's a sunny California day...wish I felt sunny today.

    I feel pretty discouraged in this moment. I keep hoping that my concentration difficulties will just disappear. I do not recognize myself anymore. It's pretty isolating. I don't talk about it with anyone. I mention it to my doctor in passing...sure wish my concentration was better. She can't fix it...why waste my/her time on the subject. I had a great deal invested in my ability to reason, problem solve, write, research and so forth. I have a research project that I started about 4 years ago that needs to be completed by the end of the year. I have much riding on this project, not to mention a $32,000 loss if not complete. It is hard to believe that I am unable to pull this together. It just needs to be written and bound. All the really hard work was complete during the first year of the research. I spent the last 3 months staring at my computer. I don't have good days, bad days with my concentration. It is always the same now...blank and disjointed. I have ample time. I gave up my career about 9 months ago for health reasons. I'm 42 years old...should be in career glory by now. When I step back and look at the big picture, I see that I have a great life. I know that it is not the end of the world if this research expires. It just represents another lost dream. I used to go out and grab my dreams, now they float by. In fact, I hesitate to dream anymore if it involves the need for my physical and or cognitive ability.

    Thanks for being here and reading my post.
    Jan
  3. jackiec

    jackiec New Member

    I really wish I could make everything better for everyone. I understand what you are saying, and feeling like the days just drift one into the other with no relief in sight. Just want you to know that I care. Hang in there with us.....there has to be better days ahead. J.C.
  4. TiredbutWired

    TiredbutWired New Member

    I hope I am not out of line and it is just a thought.Have you considered medication?everyone is different and lots like to go the natural way.That use to be me but for now I felt I needed the meds.Anyway provigil has been a wonder drug for me.even when I am having my worst day my brain still seems to be clearer and people have noticed the difference.Now they really don't see that I am sick.It works different for other people but it has allowed me to do things I have not been able to do in a long time.Pull it up on the research.Good Luck,Tracey
  5. jenifurlii

    jenifurlii New Member

    Hi Jan,
    I am in the same place you are right now. Feeling very discouraged as though there is no relief, help or understanding from friends and family. I have been able to keep jobs--for very short periods of time. Since 1990, I think that the longest period of time I have been able to stay at a job was 2.5 years. And that was only because it was 25 hrs. a week. I am 32 yrs. old and have been dependent on my Mom. I have wanted to file for dissability but I haven't even had the drive or energy to start the ball rolling. For years I have had expended sooooo much energy trying to prove to my family and friends that I am even sick, and now I have to do it all over again. Except, this will be even more grueling. I just haven't had the strength. Anyway...I really just wanted to say--if you hang in there I will hang in there!
    GOD BLESS!!!!
  6. selma

    selma New Member

    Well I was once considered for a study. My thoughts were disjointed. I took Gingko Biloba 2 tabs. at night and one in am. Worked for me. It thins blood but increases blood to brain. Soo check it out when you can. I also have fibro fog. Just can't remember remember things. Like I wtote remember twice. OK, so nothing's perfect. Even if I try to be.

    Good Luck.. Love, Selma
  7. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Feel free to vent whenever you want. It really does help us to get it all out, especially with people who understand how we are living with these illnesses.

    I am not so good myself tonight, ate something that didn't agree with me, and my tummy is upset.

    Am giving the board a last look before I go back to my heating pad.

    You take care, and hope you fog gets less soon.

    Shalom, Shirl