Just need to vent

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by jennyjams, Mar 6, 2006.

  1. jennyjams

    jennyjams New Member

    Hi all,

    I'm pretty new to all of this. My name's Jenny, I'm 27 and relatively newly married, and after a checkered medical history, I've been diagnosed with FMS and IBS. At the moment, there are interesting new symptoms arising which I need more tests to figure out. I'm just so frustrated. I feel like I'm losing control of my life. I used to be a professional modern dancer - now if I walk through a supermarket I spend the next 2 hours in bed. I'm on a professional training course and scared I'm going to lose it. I feel worthless and depressing, not to mention depressed. I'm tired of the new pains. I'm tired of the constant possibilities of new serious ailments that need more and more invasive investigations. I'm tired of the trial and error, of not knowing exactly what I did or ate that is making me feel like this. I used to love reading - I'm tired of my head swimming if I look at written words for too long. I'm tired of trying to explain to people who need to know but don't really care that my 'fms tired' is different from their 'stayed out too late last night' tired and that i'm really not slacking. and on top of everything i'm tired of being angry at myself for feeling sorry for myself. I'm caught in a cycle of anger and depression that I know I'll get out of eventually even if I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel just yet. I have hope and half of the time I still have the will to fight and to learn and to try, so I haven't totally given up.

    I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I think because I know that anyone who might read this will be able to identify, won't judge me, and won't sound sympathetic but really think i'm making it all up. Thank you all for providing a community. It helps just knowing that there are people our there who really know and really understand.

    I wish you all strength, hope and more good days than bad.

    BIG HUGS,
    Jenny
  2. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    You came to the right place! Your story sounds so familiar. It's very hard having an incisible illness. it's hard not knowing what will happen from one day to the next, and mostly it's difficult putting up with the symptoms!

    This board has lots of caring and suportive people. I hope you can spend some time reading and asking questions. You might find some things here that can help.

    Good Luck
    Kathy.
  3. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    This is a path that is so familiar to those here.

    Can't chat today but want you to know we care.
    Love Anne C
  4. lease79

    lease79 New Member

    ~*Gentle Hugs*~ hun, you have every right to vent :)
    Nothing drives me more insane than people that tell me that they are 'fatigued too' AGH!!
    I am sure sometimes that people think that I just like being sedate, but I'd love nothing more than to be able to get back out & play netball, basketball & tennis. They just have NO IDEA how much effort it takes for me to get myself up each day & dressed, let alone do anything remotely physical.

    Lisa
  5. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Your story is familiar. You did not say when this started with you... This DD sneaks up on us, and one day, we wake-up and life is changed forever.

    I hope you can find ways to get better. There are many excellent resources here.

    Unfortunately, getting better for most of us is "trial and error" - what helps one person, may not help another.

    I understand it is very frustrating..

  6. marw

    marw New Member

    I understand your frustration. I was a dancer also. However, I did not get this disease until I was much older...am much older than you....but I know it seems even more frustrating when you want to move.

    My feeling is that FM will not stop you from dancing. But you will have to learn to pace yourself, and learn how to live with the disease....what things are best for you, and so forth....as we each seem to be different. What actually stopped me from dancing was not FMS, but the herniated disks in my back which I got from an injury, not related to FMS.

    It is, howver, a very frstrating disease. But as someone told you, this Board has a lot of very supportive and kind people, who will understand your feelings.

    I myself HATE that thing about how others do not understand the difference in just being tired and this illness.

    There are also a lot of good drugs being made these days to help a lot of people.

    I get angry, too, and depressed sometimes. We all do.

    Anyway, big hugs to you!! Vent here any time you want! It is a good place for it, and a good place for information also.

    Margaret
  7. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    I have CFS so my symptoms are a little different, but I have been through enough that I really can understand your pain, anger, and frustration. I am so glad you found this board and found people who finally can relate to you. FM is not an easy thing to go through at all, but I do believe your symptoms can be controlled and/or improve over time...don't ever think otherwise, EVER!

    Keep your head up, do your best to stay positive while still staying realistic, and know you can always get a listening ear and big (((((HUGS))))) from this board!

    Stay strong, Jenny. Wishing you all the best,
    C.