Just need to vent.

Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by sunshine621, Apr 19, 2011.

  1. sunshine621

    sunshine621 New Member

    My mother has lived with us for 5 years now and is in stage 7. She sleeps most of the time now and will only take her meals in liquid form. I am feeling overwhelmed even though I obviously knew this was coming. An old friend of hers actually asked me the other day why I even bother to take her to the doctors anymore! I do not want to prolong her suffering with dialysis or a feeding tube but I want her to be monitored so that she will be as comfortable as possible. I feel such a sense of sadness watching her like this and I try to keep a brave face for my husband and family because they are living with this too but I feel so helpless and so emotionally drained. I try to get away when I can and that helps for the time being but then it is back to it again. Please tell me how to make it through this stage without losing your own mental health along the way.
  2. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    I saw where you also posted on the Alzheimer's Board and I think that's a wise idea to post in both places.

    And it may be time to reach out to various resources to get some help from them. I happen to know a social worker that specially deals with the aged and their families and talking to someone like that on end-of-life care would probably be a huge help for you. It would give you resources to further help. You can find resources also on the Alzheimer's Board AND the Caregiver's Board that are here.

    My Uncle went into nursing care before he reached your mother's stage due to the diabetes and eventually his foot had to be amputated. But they knew he liked singing and would have the residents get together as much as possible and participate in activities and always singing. When the time came, he went into hospice care with music that his family knew he loved and he was given very special care to make that time very comfortable and soothing for him until he peacefully passed.

    My Dad (who is the brother of my Uncle who I speak about) is now in Hospice, but not from Alzheimer's. My Dad gets fantastic care and gets massages, a minister comes in to see him regularly even though my Dad is not very religious but my Dad likes it, and someone reads to my Dad regularly, they wheel him outside to the flower garden and someone picks flowers, and they give him yummy food that he will eat, not food that is good for him. And the only meds he is on are pain meds.

    My thanks to you for caring about your Mom. Best wishes and prayers go with you and your family.