Just Need To Vent

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Newswoman, Dec 3, 2002.

  1. Newswoman

    Newswoman New Member

    I had a run-in with my friend/supervisor yesterday. Like a lot of people on this board, I'm single, and I have to work. I need the income and the benefits.

    Yesterday, I came in to work with less than two hours sleep. I wasn't thrilled about doing that, but sometimes you do what you have to. Anyway, it was understood by my immediate supervisor and the CFO of the company that I was to begin telecommuting two days out the week (Tuesdays and Thursdays) this week. I write copy for websites. Unfortunately, my computer at home is dead, and I can't afford to buy one right now. So, I decided I would do my research at work, and write at home.

    When my supervisor, who knows I have fibromyalgia found out that I didn't have access to the internet...so told me that I had to come in today, even after I told her that I came in with less than two hours sleep. Now, I asked her several times for assignments so I could begin doing research. She refused. In her defense, she did tell me I could call in sick today. I, however, have a huge problem with that. I won't have any sick days for another couple of days. I would have to work eight days without a lunch break if I called in sick. Beginning next week, I will have a series of doctor's visits that I will have to make during my lunch breaks. This means I could spend the whole month of December without a lunch break.

    This is unacceptable. First of all, she's reneging on an agreement(I have this is writing). The thing that really floors me, however, is that I came into work with less than two hours sleep, and person who is supposed to be my friend refuses to give me assignments so that I can work from home? The lack of humanity is mind boggling. Even if she didn't agree with me not having access to the internet, as long as I did the research before I began writing (which is how I do my work in the office by the way), it shouldn't have mattered.

    As if things weren't bad enough, I've been in the middle of a flare-up for nearly two months now. Coming in to work with less than two hours sleep everyday is only going to make a bad situation worse.

    So, now I'm tired, cranky, pissed off, bitter, and in pain. But hey...I guess is could be worse.



    [This Message was Edited on 12/03/2002]
  2. Newswoman

    Newswoman New Member

    I had a run-in with my friend/supervisor yesterday. Like a lot of people on this board, I'm single, and I have to work. I need the income and the benefits.

    Yesterday, I came in to work with less than two hours sleep. I wasn't thrilled about doing that, but sometimes you do what you have to. Anyway, it was understood by my immediate supervisor and the CFO of the company that I was to begin telecommuting two days out the week (Tuesdays and Thursdays) this week. I write copy for websites. Unfortunately, my computer at home is dead, and I can't afford to buy one right now. So, I decided I would do my research at work, and write at home.

    When my supervisor, who knows I have fibromyalgia found out that I didn't have access to the internet...so told me that I had to come in today, even after I told her that I came in with less than two hours sleep. Now, I asked her several times for assignments so I could begin doing research. She refused. In her defense, she did tell me I could call in sick today. I, however, have a huge problem with that. I won't have any sick days for another couple of days. I would have to work eight days without a lunch break if I called in sick. Beginning next week, I will have a series of doctor's visits that I will have to make during my lunch breaks. This means I could spend the whole month of December without a lunch break.

    This is unacceptable. First of all, she's reneging on an agreement(I have this is writing). The thing that really floors me, however, is that I came into work with less than two hours sleep, and person who is supposed to be my friend refuses to give me assignments so that I can work from home? The lack of humanity is mind boggling. Even if she didn't agree with me not having access to the internet, as long as I did the research before I began writing (which is how I do my work in the office by the way), it shouldn't have mattered.

    As if things weren't bad enough, I've been in the middle of a flare-up for nearly two months now. Coming in to work with less than two hours sleep everyday is only going to make a bad situation worse.

    So, now I'm tired, cranky, pissed off, bitter, and in pain. But hey...I guess is could be worse.



    [This Message was Edited on 12/03/2002]
  3. AnnG

    AnnG New Member

    I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I can relate. Between IBS and FM, there have been many days I functioned on no sleep. Sadly, no one except fellow sufferers understand what we go through. Don't you wish you could let them step into our bodies for a while so they could feel it all?

    Aren't you glad we have this board to vent on to people who understand?!

    Hope your day gets better!
  4. Newswoman

    Newswoman New Member

    I appreciate your support.

    To answer your questions Chocolat...I just started taking MSM, however I take a whole host of vitamins and herbs:

    A multiple vitamin
    B-Stress (time-released)
    Fibro-Support (a blend of herbs and minerals for fibro)
    Silica
    Calcium, Magnesium, Zinc (a blend)
    Bio E with Selenium
    Melatonin/Valarian Root
    Vitamin C

    I also drink between 60 to 70 ounces of water a day. I usually do some light exercise everyday, but I only did it once last week because of the fatigue. We'll see what I can accomplish this week.
  5. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    and skeesix is right, your supervisor is NOT your friend! When push comes to shove, she'll always protect her own butt and disregard yours! It just is not likely that your boss CAN be both. I've found that to be true in nursing; when my co-worker became my supervisor, things changed and the friendship was no more! I guess they aren't supplying you with a PC/internet access because you are planning to do some of the work at home because of your health, right??? I suppose your contract doesn't say anything about PC maintenance, does it?? The in-home work sounds like a real great thing and it would sure be nice for you; I know that I am staying busy at home since I stopped my job on November the 10th, but I am no longer stressed and anxious and my autonomic nervous system is trying to behave now that I am not uner that pressure. AND, the fluorescent lights that drove me crazy are no longer an issue. The HARD floors are no longer MY problem. I know that you need insurance and benefits and your salary. I'd love it if you could find a way to work out of your home everyday, while still employed with benefits. Your contract should specify that your equipment be supplied. I guess I'm fantasizing FOR you, and I know many people do this type of work, but I'm not at all familiar with it. Somehow nurses just have to be at work in order to do patient care!!!
    I hope you'll learn to accept that your supervisor is just that and not really your friend. It is just too hard to be both, I'm afraid. I hope for the best for you!
    Love and hugs,
    Kady
    [This Message was Edited on 12/03/2002]
  6. 1Writer

    1Writer New Member

    Your boss is NEVER your friend...I think it's discrimination for your company to not provide you with the proper equipment at home, especially since you have it in writing that you will be working at home parttime...I'd check into what my LEGAL rights are...and on a lighter note, I do hope everything works out for you and you feel better soon...I, too and fortunate not to have to work...I don't know how I could right now. But you do what you have to do, like you said and so stand up and FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You go girl........we're with you!!!!!!!!!!

    1Writer
  7. Newswoman

    Newswoman New Member

    I definitely know what my rights are. Believe me, this situation pales in comparsion to some of the other issues I've dealt with in the workplace.

    As far as my supervisor...I really shouldn't have used that term. She isn't necesarily my "supervisor." She edits my copy. The term "supervisor" was easier to use than copy editor.

    For the whole equipment thing, I never asked about being supplied with equipment because I planned to have a computer at the point that I was going to start working from home twice a week. My car broke down. I ran out of meds, and some other things came up a couple of weeks before I was to start telecommuting. I finacially wasn't able to buy a computer at the time. But that isn't the point. I still could've done the work from home. She just refused to give me any. Just another side note, I am not under contract. For what I do, a contract isn't needed. And as long as I continue to work as a writer outside of television news, I won't sign one.


    My copy editor doesn't work on Wednesdays, and I have a feeling the CFO is going to ask me why I came in yesterday. We'll see what happens when I explain the situation to her.

    The thing about venting is sometimes you leave out crucial details. I'm not in any way excusing the copy editor's behavior. I think it was inhumane, besides cleary violating ADA. There's been some tension with her as of late, and I don't know where it's coming from. Who knows what's going on her personal life that's making her difficult. I know she's had several private conversations with the CFO over the past couple of weeks. Who knows what's going on with her. I just didn't appreciate telling someone that I was willing to work, despite being sick, and that person refusing to give me work (which is her job, by the way). While I'm struggling to get at least two hours sleep every night, I'm still in to work not just on time, but early (except for today). She, on the other hand, is late nearly everyday. I don't know if it's a jealousy thing or what. But she cleary has a problem.
  8. achy

    achy New Member

    If there is one thing I have learned it's that your boss cannot be your friend. It just doesn't work. I had a wonderful job as an EO for a non-profit. Made excellent $$, small town, knew everybody. Traveled extensivvely with 6-10 of our Local board members (6 men...and just little ol me..but that's anohter story)
    Anywho after 7 years I was friends wiht many board members, we went out, traveled together, etc. To make a long story short on trip my hubby went. A board members wife patted my hubbys butt. He was furious he hated this person. I begged him to let it go, but no...he told her hubby about it and a few other "secrets". Well...there was no way this Shedevil could get back at my hubby, so she came after me wiht both barrels. In a matter of months my reputation was in the can, along wiht my job. What was really bad was that everybody knew this shedevil...knew she lies, even knew what happended to start it all....yet, Since she was a board members wife, long time resident of the communtiy...well, you get the picture.
    But did I learn? NO
    My last job I really liked my boss..even though she was bi-polar and manic (made for some interesting days). We got along really well and becaome friends. I thought. I found out since I quit in June that she has been bad mouthing me. Everything that went wrong in the office I was being blamed for. Any reports, budgets, that were late of incomplete she told her supers that she had told me to do it & I didn't. She would tell ppl I didn't give her phone messages when she forgot to call them back...I was devistated.
    You simply cannot be friends wiht a boss....
    As far as your "agreement" in writing make her stick to it..if not go above her head. Get you doctor to write her a note explaining your health concerns and your limitations...this is imperative, and carries a lot of weight. They have to provide you assistance in order to do your job..you must know this is the law under the disability act. Can you take a medical leave of abscense to get your flare under control? Or cut back part time for a while? I know..hard to do. Just throwing out some ideas.
    I know this is hard on you and I am so sorry. I've been there and can still feel the despair.
    I hope it gets better. Take a hot bath wiht some lavender sea salts, drink some camomile tea, and try to get some rest.
    Warm fuzzies
    Achy