Just really need someone right now..

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by MamaR, Feb 23, 2006.

  1. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    I am so very down....been that way for days. My chest feels like it will burst if I don't cry....but I still hold it in.

    I have been debating if I should even post here....since there are so many other needs worse than mine.

    I just can't talk to anyone right now. Everyone has so much going on around me...but...I don't think that I could even talk anyway. I actually don't want to see or talk to anyone.

    You all are always here!! But, I still feel guilty complaining.

    Hubby is at work...he has so many problems that he is facing at this time. I try to keep it from him when he is home on Tuesday and Wednesday.
    I know that he gets sick and tired of my pain...etc...etc!!

    Does anyone ever just want to find a dark, quiet place to hide and stay there?
  2. auntyemnga

    auntyemnga New Member

    I am so sorry you're going through this alone feeling.

    When I feel like crying I get in the shower and let the tears flow. Then I tell myself that the tears are going down the drain and out to the sewer. For some reason that is a pick me up first thing in the morning.

    Lots of Hugs,
    Auntyem
  3. Hope4Sofia

    Hope4Sofia New Member

    Yes I've looked for that cold dark place many times. The beauty of this board is that you don't have to speak - just type. What is ailing you right now? Find comfort here with us.

    Sofi
  4. claudiaw

    claudiaw New Member

    There are many day's I feel just like you. Today is one of them.
    I am lonely, but don't really want to talk.
    I am depressed, but don't want to try to be happy, I;m burnt out.
    I feel guilty all the time, like I am a burden to husband (he doesn't make me feel like that, that's just how I feel).
    We have finace problems and I can't help, I only add to the mess with mt physical therapy, meds and doc visits, and I take several supplements.
    So yes I can totally relate!
    I try to hold in my stress ( hubby saya's how great I have been with all the stress:)he has no clue I cry when he is not at home.
    If you need to cry go ahead, it's o.k., nothing bad will happen.
    Maybe a good cry is what you need. Then you can pick yourself up and go on.
    At least that's what I try to do.:)
    Take care, Claudia
  5. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    I am so sorry that you are feeling so depressed. I know that feeling very well. Don't feel guilty posting on here, we are all in the same boat! Complain all you want, we are here to listen(read it)haha! I get a great deal of comfort by posting here, and everyone for the most part is so very nice and compassionate. Any time you want to just sit and type, we are very willing to be here for you! You are every bit as important as anyone else on this board! I wish I could wave a magic wand and make every single one on this board well and happy! The best I can do is pray for you, and that I will do.
    I am here anytime you want someone to talk to!
    Take care of yourself!
    Kellyann
  6. saphire27

    saphire27 New Member

    Hi, i'm right here with you, WITH YOU!

    I get like that time to time also, sometimes i'll let it out, when no one is around, hopefully it'll be time for bed or nap, then the crying also helps me to sleep like a baby, strange isn't it? thats the only time i sleep like a baby!

    I haven't cried lately, but my eyes feel as if i been crying all day! It's to the point where they are weak, and sting a bit.I posted the "USELESS" today.plz read.

    Sweety, i feel for you, sometimes i don't even know why i cry at times. But i know it's okay to do.

    But is there SOMETHING that is REALLY bothering you, and is the REASON WHY you want to cry?

    Update us okay?
    saph

  7. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    Auntyem......Sofi...Claudia...MsMoody,

    I appreciate you all SO much!!

    Hubby just called to check in on me. I guess that he has been more in tune with me than I thought!
    I have always been like this. I let it bottle up.

    You all just don't know how much that it helps to read your words!! And yes......the tears are flowing....can't hardly type!!

    I just have been reading some posts....so many needs here. I am SO ashamed for complaining.

    I want to be there for you guys. I truly feel like we relate!!

    Love ya much...MAri
  8. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    Kellyann & Saph...

    You all are so kind... too!!

    I just really don't know what I would do without all of you here....my dear friends!



    mari
  9. nanna4550

    nanna4550 New Member

    I feel so bad for you and I almost didn't post, because I am so afraid of saying something wrong that will make you feel worse. Just know that I care and I can relate and that I will pray that things get better real quickly for you.
    It's good that you took the step to reach out to us. I hope you feel much better real soon.
    LOL, Nanna
  10. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    Thanks for being there for me! I appreciate it so much!

    I am up a bit more now.



    God Bless you...Mari
  11. CarolK

    CarolK New Member

    ... GOD UNDERSTANDS THE LANGUAGE OF TEARS!

    So go on and cry! Cry often...tears are a way to let out all the disappointments, the hurts and pains of life. Tears are a great stress relief too!

    Let your tears flow and know that as you release these precious tears, others here have needed to do the same. And most of all, Father God knows and understands our tears.

    I always feel so much better after I release my tears... it is almost a refreshing... a cleansing of the soul of all it's weariness, sadness, disappointments and fears.

    Life is not always kind and I belive that the Lord has given us a sort of "safety valve" in our tears... a way to just release it all.

    I hope you are comforted in knowing that we all go through these times and that we can come here and share with one another and receive the encouragement we all so desperately need!

    I'm going to lift you in prayer MamaR... so consider yourself hugged and prayed for today!

    Love and Blessings to you MamaR.... CarolK
  12. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    Sometimes the depression/ feelings inside can be far more painful than any physical ailment. I know you feel better now, I am glad hubby is in tune with you! Showing yourself to us just brings us closer, the good and the bad alike.

    many hugs to you,

    Lena
  13. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    Yes.....I agree!

    I always feel better after a good cry. Just don't know why sometimes I am like a pressure cooker!

    I want to let it out.....but it won't come out... and my chest even hurts!

    I am just trying to put things (that I can't change) in God's hands...AND LEAVE THEM THERE!!

    But, as a mom it is so hard sometimes to not worry!

    For years I thought that their problems was because I had failed them. This was because when i was growing up....my home life was not so good. I don't know what I expected of myself really.

    I have since realized that I did the best that I could do for my kids. I brought them up in a good home. I did the best that I knew how for them. I also realized that NO ONE PERSON is... or can be perfect!!

    Big hug....Mari

  14. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    I hope that you are doing well!!
  15. patches25

    patches25 New Member

    Did you know that when you cry it gets toxins out of the body. So have a good cry. I cry often. And alone.

    It isn't always easy to face this life. Sometimes I think of that movie with Tom Hanks where he is alone on an island for 4 years and he said something like "You just get up and keep on breathing". Umm, is that the movie I am thinking of---brain fog you know.

    I can't talk to anyone either. Sometimes I write letters to a friend and then not mail them. I don't want to burden her. She knows I am sick and that is enough. Some people are sweet gentle souls that can't handle much.

    I am beginning to think I have reverted back to childhood with my favorite blankie wrapped around me so much of the time.

    Come here and complain. We are all listening and know what it is to be living in these bodies. You may want to hide away but I want to get in the car and drive away---away so far that the pain couldn't catch up. I wish that would work. Take care. I just want to give you a hug. E.
  16. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    You are so sweet!!

    I appreciate your kind words so much!!


    Big Hug.....Mari
  17. KateMac329

    KateMac329 New Member

    ((((((((((((((((((((MAMA)))))))))))))))))))))

    Honey I am so sorry you are feeling so down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I know I haven't been here very much but I am so glad I came on here tonight! Sweetheart I completely understand about being down and wanting to just hide from EVERYONE!!!

    We ARE here for you and I just want you to know that when you are feeling this down that you CAN come on here! There are so many wonderful people on here that want to help you!!!

    You are just one of the sweetest people on here and I am so sorry that things are rough right now. Talk to us!!!

    ((((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS SWEETHEART))))))))))))))))))

    kate

  18. cjr2003

    cjr2003 New Member

    Hi sweetheart! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE SAYING . . . especially right now. I found myself thinking today as I drove to the dr's office - " I just want to run away . . . where no one has to see me in pain, or worry about me, or where there are no dr. bills and med's and where there is no worry" - My husband has been under enormous stress lately and I just learned how tough it has been on him these last 4 weeks since I have been housebound most of the time. He hardly ever really tells me what is going on inside his head when things get stressful for him, even though I encourage him to share it all. IT is hard for him, didn't grow up in a family that "shared" like mine did, and has been so worried about me that he can't see straight and it has been affecting his sleep and he has been so stressed over ME. I had been feelings guilty before but now I really feel it. That awful feeling just seems to come along with this disease. I have been pretty down too and haven't really been sharing w/ my friends either - just feel like I have hit the expiration time for "neediness" lately. Tired of the focus being on me, and when am I going to get better, and when am I going to become pregnant? , and why isn't my cyst pain going away? . . . and now my kitty is terminally ill, and her bloodtests came back worse today than they were to begin with. Honey, I SO KNOW HOW U FEEL. I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you - happy happy thoughts coming your way for improved health and hope in the midst of the "darkness". Love and prayers, Carla
  19. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    I'm so sorry that you are feeling so down and sad. Yes, it does get tiring and one does get weary of feeling ill all the time. And, yes you get tired of faking it and trying to be strong. And you feel like you should have a "handle" on this business by now...if not feeling better, then at least feeling peaceful.

    Let yourself cry, don't hold it in. Those tears will become toxic inside of you. You have to release the tears and the pain and the sadness. Get in a hot bath and cry and then dry yourself off, put on some body lotion and clean jammies and have a cup of hot tea and go to bed. Tell yourself that tomorrow will be better. Pamper yourself...love yourself.

    Dear Lord, bless MamaR and give her joy and give her strength...may she feel your love and protection and let her feel that she is not alone..fill her heart with gladness and help her to find something to be grateful for. Heal her sickness and her pain in the name of Jesus. Amen
  20. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    .....I checked in before logging off. I just want to say thank you both for trying to encourage me.

    I know that you all have needs too! I wish you a both peaceful, restful night.

    I wish that Carla's Tabby will do well...as it will help her rest.

    I was on the phone with a dear friend for about an hour.

    She called to ask me to help her pray for her elderly mom being in hospital. She probably won't come out unless God sees fit. It looks bad.

    She was so down when she called....but she was feeling better when she hung up the phone. We were talking about when we were younger and dating these guys that we knew...etc. We started laughing....it did her good!

    I just feel so bad for this lady... as they just lost her mother-in-law last week. Plus....she has another crisis in her life at the same time.


    I don't have any problems right now....can't complain...after speaking with her!


    I appreciate all my dear friends here!

    I will try to see you all tomorrow.


    Love.....mari
    [This Message was Edited on 02/23/2006]