Just tired of it all

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Aug 23, 2003.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I am learning that stress does strange things to me since I was dxed with fibro. I get soooooooooo tired and can't fall asleep, I am cso worried about my daughter who will be going thru the most stressyll thing in her life nad while I wish I could tell you what it is I can't. Needless to say she has been hurt in a deep emotional way and has to go thru a long drawn out proces so that it can come to an end and hope fully she will get the understanding , and compassion to get the results that will make this better and the person who hurt her will have to suffer the consquenses that go with actions that he was respondsible for.
    FOr ever action there is an equal and oppsite reaction. Life here at home has become so tough to deal with . I read years ago about a how to judge your level of stress. Now I don't remember the exact was it went but something likethis.
    if you have had the following happen to you in the last year give yourself a 100 points for each one:
    Death in the family
    divorce
    Loss of a job
    serious illness in the imediate family
    Serious injury to a child or family member
    moved away from home or changed houseing
    Thenit went like if you have had the following happen in a year give your self 75 points:
    New baby
    graduation from high school ( your children)
    New Job
    Promotion at job
    Then it would go on down till you had ten points for each event
    I can't remember them all but for me in this last year starting from June 13 of 2002 till Sept 2003 I have had my mother nearly die from a pulmonary emblllsioms in her lungs , Daughter was involved in a bad situation that indangered her life, Mother in law got scil , husband asked for a divorce, Mother inlaw passed away, husband moved out of house, and the rest I can't descuss right noow but are equally as tramautic.
    I have to much stress and I am seeing a counsler and she is helping but I still can't fall asleep at night with out things replaying in my mind like a movie that I can't shut off.I am really worried about my daughter and how thie results from this tramuatic event will effeect her if the out come is not favorable for her , she worries for her saftey now and I am frightened for hhher and how she will judge others and react to them this tramua was very emeoionally damaging to her I worry about her and how it will effect her in her life. She is doing really good right now just graduated from High
    School and I am so proud of her. She is working and trying to moveon with her life but some things liekthis hang on till they can get settled and some never go away I know beccause I had things happen to me as a teenager that no one believed me and I still thik of it from time to time but it is loosing it's power over me as I grow older. And the fibro fog hits and I lose the thoughts and pain of it.So you see fibro fog has some good things LOL. I wonder jsut how much one persone can take . I am doing better and not as depressed as I was but I still have my days when I think Why me what did I do to get all this chronic pain disorders like fibro, CMP, bulging dics knees that are grinding scrpaing shards of glass into the joints but who is counting and complaining. I may be facing a divorce from a man that I love and have done for 233 years but I have three beautiful daughters who brighten my day and have done sicne the day they arrived . I Love them so much and am so porud of all the things that they have done. Do I guess I will have to balance my stress life and just live each day better than the one before.Rosemarie
  2. Dadto3

    Dadto3 New Member

    As a child I was sexually molestewd by my oldest brother and I never said much about it back then. It happened for several years before I was finally old enough to kick his butt. It was very hard to deal with and I never let it out beacause my poor mother had enough problems to deal with without going over the edge because of my problems. Now I have grown up or some say gotten older and I have 3 lovely little girls who I love so dearly. I was married for nearly nine years but had a major problem communicating with the one I should have all along and still seem to even now. I live at home with my ex wife who was diagnosed with MS about a year and a half before I was diagnosed with Fibro. I could go on for many pages telling of the bad things I have gone through but I think I have said enough for now anyways. I guess my whole point is for you to hold on because things will get better and just be there for your daughter and hopefully maybe she will also be there for you. Somehow someway you will both make it through this and hopefully years from now the people who have inflicted the pain upon you both through the divorce and your daughters trauma will be repayed with their own misery to face. It may sound terrible and I apologize if I sound too cold hearted but sometimes you gotta do what you can to get through certain circumstances.........Hope to hear from you again and may God watch over you and your family.
  3. sunshine8957

    sunshine8957 New Member

    My neice and nephew also suffered "trauma's" that I believe you may be referring to with regard to your daughter. After much couseling, they are much better. My niece had to endure the trauma of being sexually molested BY HER FEMALE SHRINK AND THE SHRINK'S HUSBAND. And she had been raped when she was a teen. The lawsuit with her prior shrink and the shrink's now ex-husband is still going on. But at least that shrink had her License stripped from her.

    You know that stress scale you are referring to? My husband swears we have to be off the charts! Slowly though, we have managed to reduce stress in our lives so we don't feel like we are constantly ready to snap.
    We talk about divorcing during the worst of times and talk about our future dreams at other times.

    I had a neighbor tell me once that she told her husband (after he had wrongly accused and hit their older son - evidently a common occurrence in their household) 'Let me tell you something. Husbands and boyfriends can come and go in your lifetime, but your kids are your kids for the rest of your life.' I don't know what your husband's problems are, but if you feel the marriage is worth saving, please try marriage counseling. Men deal with situations very differently than women do. Maybe he can't handle the trauma your daughter sustained (possibly guilt on his part that he should have done SOMETHING to protect his little girl. Or maybe he can't handle you're illness (do I want to spend the rest of my life with a sick spouse - I'd dump him in a NY second) No way do I want any man to "stay" when he didn't want to. Hmmmmm, what happened to "in sickness and in health" in those wedding vows? Or maybe he's hit the mid-age crisis....what am I missing out on?)

    Try to talk with him and ask him what the reason is that he wants to divorce you. If you hit a brick wall, put him out of the house - you don't need the stress. But make sure you are financially stable or take measures to ensures you and your kids are financially cared for.
    Definitely talk with an attorney before doing anything.

    My family lost our sister at 22 y/o under mysterious circumstances - she wsas in a coma for just under 3 years.
    The police were never able to solve the crime. My mother was a manic depressant (aka Bi-Polar) as well as a alcoholic. and she (bless her soul) could not handle stress, so our family was prepared
    for her to have another breakdown. Amazingly she didn't.

    When I asked her my mom she was getting through the stress, she said she would pray for God to help her get through the day, some days she would ask God to help her get through the next hour - and when she felt completely helpless, she would pray for him to help her get through the next hour. And that was how she was able to get through each day. I'm pretty sure this comes from AA.

    Just like you, I truley hope that God will make sure that the criminal doesn't have a good day for the rest of his/her life nor demise.

    Hang in there Rosemarie - I'll keep you, you're daughter and the rest of your family (husband.too) in my thoughts and prayers.

    God Bless

    Eve