just wanted a chat...

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by catlover, Mar 6, 2002.

  1. catlover

    catlover Guest

    It's been a rough couple of weeks for me. I feel like i don't know where to start so i'll just say what is on my mind.

    I have always tried to keep my faith even though there has been times where i have doubted it. I now find myself in a similar position. I lost my mum nearly 3 years ago now but i feel as much pain now as i did then. I try to tell her how much i miss her but i seem to choke and can't get the words out.

    I feel i am at a cross roads in my life and don't know which way to go. I have found myself crossing paths with a person who was in my life for many years but for personal reasons we parted. I feel happiness, sadness and guilt all at the same time.

    I feel that my faith is being tested. How can i be given happiness in one had but feel sadness and guilt in another. Why am i being tested like this?

    I miss my mum and although i am surrounded by wonderful people i feel so lonely it hurts.

    I know that no-one said life was easy, but just for today i could do with a little help.

    love to all

    cat lover
  2. Cactuslil

    Cactuslil New Member

    I can offer you nothing other than to tell you I feel your hurt and despair. I have yet to have a loss within which there is no return or possibility of return in this mortal life.

    I gaze at Rose's loss of her husband and true lifetime/eternal companion and all I can do is watch and say I care, I do deeply.

    When I met William's father, Kelly, he had lost his only surviving sister; the other being killed in a motor vehicle accident one Thanksgiving many years ago; he said when he met me, he felt guilty for feeling good.

    When the time came when he felt no more tears at losing this dear sister, who had helped raise him, he said the guilt at "living" again was a horrible thing.

    Long story short, I had a child by him, my son; we briefly married after Will was about 2 years old and the marriage I dreamed of was not to be.

    It is now eight years later; earlier in 2001 he lost his mother, who was well into her eighties; that was the first time I ever saw this guy shed a tear.

    Catlover, I know I can't help your pain but there will be others here that will.....I still stand on the sidelines looking so I will know what to do or say when that time comes for me. You are in my prayers. Love CactusLil'
  3. PBNJ

    PBNJ New Member

    Hi Cat Lover!

    I am a cat lover too :) I am so sorry you are having a hard time right now. Please know and I will keep you in my prayers and that God is faithful!

    Romans 8:28: For we know that God works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to his purpose

    Even when it seems like things are all going wrong, you can rest easy in the knowledge that God is in control and working towards your GOOD!

    Keep your eyes on Him! Make sure you keep yourself spiritually fed with music, good Christian books and tapes!

    Take care & God bless!

  4. catlover

    catlover Guest

    Thankyou so much for thinking of me when you yourself have had so much to deal with lately. Your words are always so kind, you are such a strong wonderful person. I too have been thinking about Rose and the pain that she must be feeling. A loss is such a hard thing to bear and i do grately appreciate every word you share with me.

    I am not too good with words at the moment but i just wanted to say THANKYOU.

    love and hugs
    cat lover
  5. catlover

    catlover Guest

    Sorry your post came whilst i was typing a reply to Lil, i was not ignoring you.

    I don't think we have met before, so thankyou for taking the time to reply. The quote you gave was lovely and i will re-focus myself and embrace the Lord as i know i should. Perhaps i am too impatient and want things to happen too quickly but sometimes i feel afraid when things do happen too fast for me to keep up with.

    I have come to the conclusion that i am one of those hard to please people and that he is biding his time until he can work me out.

    love to you
    cat lover
  6. RoseTx

    RoseTx New Member

    Dear Friend and Sister, There are no words that can salve the pain. Tonight I have been trying to write a poem for my friend LaDean who was not only a friend but the mother of a woman that is so dear to me. Her family asked me to read "something" at her funeral. That is an honor and a priviledge, but also hard. I feel like... I need... to write something that is especially just for LaDean. And I don't have a clue what I might say to her or for her to her family. I have no answers, except.. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away... Blessed be the name of the Lord. I try with all my might to do those things that will bring me closer to Our Heavenly Father. You know I am a Latter Day Saint (Mormon) and we have some strange beliefs. Jim and I have served in our Church Callings for many, many years. Jim was the most faithful man I have ever known and was my leader. I am rudderless without him and that may be the test. I now depend totally on my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I can offer you nothing more except to say, Seek the truth and be ready to accept it when you find it. Love and Hugs, Rose
  7. Harmony

    Harmony New Member

    I'm sorry I didn't get to you on here earlier. I know it helps to talk to someone when you are feeling down. Sounds like you are having a rough time. It must be hard to lose your Mom. I know it would be for me. It's also normal to still be grieving and understandable.

    There is not a whole lot I can say to help you feel better but I can be a listening ear and know that I care.

    I can also agree with you and the others that God is right there with you carrying you through every aspect of your life. I like the poem of "Footprints"; you probably have read it too. The person is walking across the sand with the Lord; there are two sets of footprints, then one. The person asks the Lord why is there only one set of footprints at times of hardship? He answers, "my dear, it was then that I carried you." I am not quoting it exactly but that is the meaning.

    We all have times of doubt in our life when it comes to our faith especialy when testing comes into our life. I think I am also writing this to me at this time, since I am having a lot of testing of my faith lately too. I am reminded of the verses in the Bible in James chapter 1. The whole chapter is good but I will quote a few here.
    Verses 2,3,4: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

    Then in verse 12 it says: "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

    Catlover, in our humaness, our emotions are always changing, I know mine do, but one thing we can be assured of is that God never changes how he loves us unconditionally. He knows our heart. He is there to see you through this hard time.

    I will say a prayer for you. Take care!

    [This Message was Edited on 03/06/2002]
  8. catlover

    catlover Guest

    Thankyou to everyone for being so kind when i needed a helping hand. I don't post as often as i used to but i do still think about all of you.

    The sun is shining here today, it hasn't done that for ages. I have seen and read about people who are much worse off than me and i have realised that today would be a good day to think positive.

    love to you all