Just when I thought my kids had made me miserable enough...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by kellyann, Sep 17, 2007.

  1. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    My seventeen year old daughter drops a bomb on me tonight that she thinks she might be pregnant. Her boyfiend is all of 16 years old.

    I think I am just going to go crazy.

    If you have read any of my posts, you know I am having a big custody battle over my grandbaby, and problems with one of my sons and his girlfriend.

    I don't know how much more I can stand I really don't.

    I'm going to just lose it.

  2. sfrazier

    sfrazier New Member

    I am so sorry you have to go through more stress now. The good news is the girlfriend only thinks she is. I would have gone to the store and got her a pregency test right away. If she comes up positive I would give her parents a call and ask them what they are going to do about it. This baby is everyones responsibility not just yours and don't let them dump it all on you. Your a very strong women but eveyone has their breaking point and your already flaring so round up your support team and just tell them someone else needs to jump in and deal with this. you've done all you can right now without ending up in the hospital room. Take a deep breath and pray for the best and expect the worse. Hang in there and know that everyone is sending you good thoughts and prayers.....SueF
  3. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    You must be beside yourself right now! I am so sorry that all of this is happening...kids!

    I will pray for you and your family. I don't have any advice except you will survive and you will be OK...just one day at a time.

    We have many friends who have had to raise grandchildren, and let me tell you, I admire those of you who can do it more than I can say. I don't know where the energy comes from to deal with little children on a constant basis. I do acutally know where it comes from...God. He enables us to do what we have to do.

    I really hope that your daughter isn't pregnant and that she changes her behavior so this won't happen again. Keep us informed.

    Thinking and praying for you and your husband during this time.

  4. mollystwin

    mollystwin New Member

    Hi there Kellyann,

    I'm sorry you are going through this right now. It's tough enough with the one problem, now you've got another. And you have your health to deal with as well.

    I was in a similar situation a few years back. My son was a bit older though. His girlfriend dumped him right before she had the baby and we had to go to court to determine paternity and to get visitation. It took a year and a half to deal with it. It was very stressful and I got sick right after that.

    I will pray for you to get through this. They say God only gives you what you can handle but you just have to wonder sometimes!!

    Hang in there Kellyann and know that we are here for you.

  5. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    My daughter told me her boyfriend proprosed to her in th middle of Walmart of all places today!
    I don't know what is going on in their brains! But I can see another situation coming where I have to raise yet another grandbaby. he is only 1 , a snior in high school, he is a junior in high school. His mother is so mad, screaming at my daughter. I've had about enough of that. She didn't do it on er own, and nobody has any business screaming at my child any dang way.

    I am too damn sick for all this!This stress on top of the other is just too much!

  6. sfrazier

    sfrazier New Member

    Kellyann I really am sorry about all of this. in my last post i thought it was your son and his girlfriend not your daughter and her boyfriend. I blame that on Fibro Fog. Sorry about that. I completely agree that no one has a right to scream at your child. Has the pregncy been confirmed? Tell me your daughter did not accept her boyfriends proposal. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Have you heard anything from the parents of your grandbaby?????? SueF
  7. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    SueF- Do you mean the grandparents of Kaylie? They don't gine a dang what happens to Kaylie. They couldn't care less if I get custody or not. They are old druggies As far as I know, at least that is what their daughter tells me.

    My daughter is not due for her period yet. She just "feels" like she's pregnant. And she has accepted the boy's marriage propasal.

    Isn't life grand somtimes?


  8. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    what do young teens really know anyways....

    i hope she does have her period....

    has done a home pregnancy test yet? better yet go to the dr.'s or planned parent hood to find out what the real results are for sure?

    sounds like she is jumping the gun and possibly is looking for some attention in all the wrong places right now.

    give it some more time and try to relax. let's focuse on the custody issue first....and foremost. one step at a time.

    i need to go to the bank right now and use some of my student loan money to live off from right now. not getting any child support stinks right now..

  9. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Dear Kellyann,

    I just finished writing a short one to you about the situation concerning custody of your grandbaby Kayliel That is bad enough, all that stress.

    Yes, I would go out and have my daughter take the pregnancy test but she still might want to wait a bit as it might not show up yet, if she is really not quite due for her period. Iam not sure how early it will show up. Of course, when I was her age we didn't have those kinds of tests available. Also , one time when I just knew I was pregnant and I went to the doc and he tested me ( I forget if it was blood or urine) it came back neagataive and I WAS pregnant. I was probably a week or two late with my period, if I remember.

    Oh my, what a mess and those kids think they know everythig and that they are in LOVE !!! You said he is 16 I think you said. Neither of them are old enough to support a baby.

    Just hope and pray she is NOT pregnant and convinvce her somehow NOT to marry him, at lest till they both finsih school. if you tell them NO they can NEVER marry they will probably run away or something.. I know, I had one like that. She was not quite that young and she goofed around and thought we didn't know anything. She married someone she shouldn't have (both were immature) had 3 sons and they are now divorced.

    It is a big mess with also one child with LD's.12, one with Leukemia 5, and the 17 yr old with her x. What a mess and she is trying to do everything on her own. Her x is not alot of help. He can be when it is convenient for HIM.

    Oh Kellyann, I feel so for you. Try and take care of yourself, as much as you can. I know what happens when you don't. That is how I got this crud when all this happened plus I had a sick FIL too that had alzheimers too.

    Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us informed, hon.

    Blessings and hugs,

    Granni (Marilyn)
  10. sfrazier

    sfrazier New Member

    Have been thinking about you and wondering if the parents of little Kaylie have been served yet and if there was any problems? I'm hoping that things went smoothly with that. As for your other daughter the one that thinks she might be pregent. those pregency tests are pretty accurate. that's how i found out about both of my girls. they can usually tell after 3 days of a missed period. on the instrutions it says to take the test first thing in the morning because that is when something is at it's highest so i would always take them at night right before bedtime. it it turned positive there were no questions about it. i think there are even tests now that you don't even have to have missed your period to check for pregnecys. whichever way it turns out marrage at that young of an age is a real bad idea. hopefully she will find out she is not pregent and then they can wait till they are older and then get married if they are even still together......SueF
  11. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    Lord knows I need it, sorry for all the typing mistakes, I'm just tired and my hands are so sore.

    I don't think in the state of Georigia that you can get married without parental consent. But we live right on the border to Alabama, and I think maybe they could there, who knows?

    It just makes me sick, the hole thing. I hope she is not pregnant, it is still too early to test.

    It just never ends........

  12. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    hope everything is getting better in your life...

    i was reading granni's response...i too i kept having pg test they would come up negative...in the uring...but my breasts hurt and i just knew i was pg..with cody..

    it took from april till the end of may to have the official word your pregnant. i was already married...and 24 years old.

    well hoping your results are a happy one in the future.

  13. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    I have had hell on earth the last few days. My son and Kaylie's mom came and got her day before yesterday. There wasn't anything I could do to stop them. It made me so sick, they did not even have money to buy that baby milk or food. I had to give them food, milk, diapers, and everything Kaylie needed. They took Kaylie to stay in a motel room they had rented. They are totally broke, and none of this makes any sense whatsoever to me. I was so worried about Kaylie I could hardly stand it.
    Well, then yesterday a dfacs caseworker shows up wanting to know where Kaylie is. So My husband and I told her the whole story and how they had taken off with the baby now.
    It ended up with me going after Kaylie anyway and her parents can't take off with her again. My son got arrested for having pot there in the motel room. I think the mother should go to jail too.

  14. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    the first thing that came to mind was oh sh&*&(! but it sounds like you have the baby now...thank goodness for that.

    i hope your daughter and her husband have a wake up call and learn to take responsibilities for their actions....god only knows why some people act the way the do...

    hugs to you

  15. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    I did get my daughter a preg.test and it was neg. But she told me all that stuff, sore breasts, just "knows" she is preg. I hope not. I really do.

    I'm going to wait until she is actually late and take her to a doctor. And I might get one of those EPT preg.test.
    They are supposed to pretty accurate.

    I am just so thankful and praising the Lord that our little Kaylie is home safe tonight.

    I can't handle much more stress. I am about to just load the kids up and go visit my mom in Florida. Just to get away from my son and his crazy girlfriend awhile.

    Thanks for being here for me, it means so much!
  16. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    You surely have been through the mill, haven't you ? Surely hope that things go well with you in both of your dilemmas.

    Surely glad that you have the baby back - what a mess. I cannot believe that they even would want to take the baby back with no money coming in, etc.

    As far as your daughter is concerned. Yes, we all pray that she is not pregnant. Probably still a bit to early. However, in your case it probably would be good to wait a bit till she is really late and then bring her to the dr. for a real check. I know they have better means now of testing than they used to when they told me that I was not pregnant and I knew I was. Sure enough, I was pregnant with daughter #2 !! Do you know if she is usually very regular with her periods or not? If not that can make it even more confusing and knowing when to bring her to the doc.

    Does she actually want to get married now, pregnant or not? Is she acting like she wants to be pregnant and get married right away? Many time too, young ladies or just ladies in general who want to be pregnant develop symptoms of pregnancy (or think they have). However, those her age would usually pray not to be pregnant. However, when these kids think they are in LOVE, all sense goes out the window. She would be like Kayle's mother wanting the baby with no money.

    You could probably tell her that is what would happen , the same as Kayle's mom with no money AND A BABY but she probably doesn't care. At that age many ARE IN LOVE WITH LOVE.

    She is so lucky to have you !!!

    God bless you all on both fronts. Glad you goth that baby back.

    Mucho hugs,
  17. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    How does your son and g/f pay for their motel room? Seems like they would take that money and buy milk and diapers if they were serious about wanting her.

    Your other daughter... I wish I could talk to her. I had my first daughter in Aug and I turned 18 in Nov. We got married, we got divorced, we had another daughter, we got married, we got divorced. That is most likely what her life would resemble if they had a baby and got married.

    Oh yeah, back then (1971) I couldn't stay in school so I had to quit at semester break. I did go back but I still feel 'cheated' in a lot of ways.

    If young people only could listen to age and understand we aren't all crazy.

  18. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    Just a thought...

    I've been reading your story with my heart in my mouth! I can't imagine going through anything like this. That little baby is very lucky to have you.

    Anyway, my thought was that maybe your daughter is feeling the need for some extra attention what with all the trouble her brother is causing and the time and effort the baby takes.

    17 is still a kid and bringing up the possibility that she might be pregnant before she is even due might speak of a need to get attention. Having a baby certainly did get attention for her brother and his wife, no matter how negative that attention is.

    Even if she's not pregnant now, she may see it as an option, a way to become important.

    Don't know, just thinking, hope you don't mind.

    Kids, huh?! It never, ever ends!

    Peace to you,
  19. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member


    Rafiki gave you lots of good food for thought whall we say. that I think is very true and so important to remember. Alot of this may very well her way of getting attention, especially with her brothers problems, the baby, etc.

    Thanks alot Rafiki. I agree with 100% of what you have said. She is still a child even if she thinks she is ALL grown up. I know i had some similar problems with one of my daughters. Thought she knew everything but of course did NOT. Now she is paying and is 40 years old.

    God bless you and your whole family Kellyann!!



  20. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    maybe you should just take her right to the dr's and they can do pelvic exam and tested her real good....then put her on some sort of birth control......heck if i had a daughter i would probably make her get those depo shots that way i knew she took something for sure...

    oh just talking since i have a boy...but i told him no excuses it just happened....

    good luck