Keeping house clean :(

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by kellyann, Aug 16, 2008.

  1. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    I in so much pain and so very tired. I have 2 very small littl girls to take care of every day that have to be watched every single second, or else they will get into something, and make horrindous messes. I can't seem to get anything done except to take care of the girls. They are such a job! The terrible two's times two, haha! And one of the girls is my adopted daughter that has microchepally, which means she was born with a very small head and brain, her head at the age of four is not much is not much larger than a newborn babys' head. And she is very hyper-active. I have an appointment to take her to a doctor soon to get her put on medication to calm her down, before I have a nervous breakdown.
    Anyway, I look at my house sometimes and feel so guilty because I can't for the life of me do more. It can get pretty bad at times too. And I hate it! But I am in too much pain to clean it up, it has to wait. My husband does get mad about the house sometimes. I wish he were in my shoes,then maybe he'd shutup!

  2. sisland

    sisland New Member

    Sounds like you have alot on your plate to deal with!,,,maybe try the 15 minute thing a day where you clean for that amount of time ,,,,,spacing it out is a reality for us with this DD,,,,,Hopefuly the kids take Naps for you,,,so you can rest when they do,,,Sis
  3. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    I can so relate as I am trying to help raise my 2 greatgrand daughters. My daughter has custody of them and I keep them while she works.

    First of all the little ones can really mess, I use to keep things picked up and tidy, had to give up the heavy duty cleaning when this darn DD found me. But you should see it now, toys, spills, etc. and my daughters is even worse. Sometimes you can't even walk through at her house, laundry piled up, well you get the picture.

    This use to bother me, then one day I just sat down and had a talk with myself. The first question I ask me which is more important a clean house etc. or the care and happiness of those little ones. Well, the darn dirty house will be here when those little ones are not, they grow up so fast.

    Now, it does bother me things are a mess and even the mess at my daughters, then I look at the little ones and think I am doing my best, heck with the darn house and if anyone doesn't like it then they can clean it.

    It does get on your nerves especially with the hyper-active one. It sounds like you are doing a great job so don't feel Guilty you are doing the best you can. Just dealing with the pain is bad enough. You have a lot on your plate, I doubt your husband would last one day doing what you do. So through the guilt away.

    My prayers are with you just remeber the little ones are your first priority.

    God Bless,
  4. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    Thanks for taking the time to post to me. I feel as if I am on the verge of a nervous break down or something. I just feel so utterly hopeless. I am in so much pain and yet so much is expected of me.

    Usually I can handle it all just fine, I guess I'm just having a bad flare up of pain that is really hanging on. It hurts so bad in my hips and back and knees I feel like screaming, but that wouldn't do any good anyway. Oh and my shoulders hurt so bad and so do my wrists and fingers. I'm one puddle of pain.

    I took my pills: 3 perocet 10-325mg, 1 oxycontin 40mg,effexor 150mg,
    lyrica 150mg, topamax 150mg this morning and then took 3 more of the perocet for breakthrough pain, plus 2 trazadone 50 mg. The meds help but I am still hurting. I will have to take still more meds before bedtime. This is just to get through my day. I hate taking so much medication, but I can't stand to be in pain either.

    I know I am whinning so much but I have no where else to whine to.
    I hope ya'll understand. I just feel like its hopeless for me to go on living.

    Feeling Miserable,
  5. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    I am grateful for your kind words of encouregment. Yes, the girls are my first priority! I love them dearly, yes I do, but they are a lot of hard work. I am about to get perm. custody of my granddaughter, which will be so nice!

    My husband could not take care of these kids for one day, shoot he can't even chang diapers, haha! I get tired of his smart attitude towards me about the housework.

    Thanks so very much for your prayers. I believe strongly in th power of prayer.

    Your Friend,
  6. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Please come here and whine all you want . In fact I may join you with my whinning. That is what we are here for and I have found we are the only ones that truly understand.

    You are special to be getting custody of your granddaughter. God will give you the strength since he has sent this child to you.

    I think each day how much I could enjoy my little ones if it wasn't for this darn DD. It is so hard but I am doing my best and so are you.

    Keep me posted on how the doctor's appointment goes with your little one.

  7. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    I have had Kaylie, my granddauhter since she was 2 months old. I am the only momma she knows. I dread to think of what would of happened to her had I not taken her.

    Kaylie's birth mother had already had one baby girl,born before Kaylie was, who was taken away by dfacs. She never tried to get that baby back, and she was adopted out to a nice family, which was the best thing that could have happened for her.

    Some people should not be allowed to have kids!

  8. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    You are right some people shoud not have children. My granddaughter was a good mom at first. Had two children by the same guy. She was only 17. He was sent to jail when she was pg with the first.

    She seemed to get her life on track, finished school, became a dental assistant. Then the guy gets out of jail, well she is pg again and is 8 months pg with the 2nd child when he went back to jail.

    Well, she had the baby, went back to work, got a nice apartment, vehicle etc. Not sure what happened but think drugs. This time can't blame the dad of the little ones (if you can even call him that). She started laying out of work, not show up to get the little ones , would be gone for days. Then got hooked up with another loser .

    So my daughter got fed up, since she was supporting and taking care of the children, filed for custody. My granddaugher didn't even fight for them.

    She now sees them once a week, and is trying to get her life back together, but still with the other guy.

    Sorry didn't mean to go into all that. I do hope one day she will get her act together but by that time the girls will only want their Nanna.

    You are a wonderful person and I will be praying for you while you try to take care of your little ones.

    God Bless each of you,
  9. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    Your story sounds so familar. I have had Kaylie every day except for one. Before I got the custody order my son and Kaylie's mom used to tell me they would come and get Kaylie if I didn't give them money or do whatever it was they wanted me to do. It was pure hell. One day they decided to come get Kaylie. I totally panicked. I called my lawyer, and she must have pulled some strings at dfacs because the next day a dfacs worker came out looking for Kaylie. I told her where they had taken Kaylie, because thank god they had told me. I told her to please call me and let me know how Kaylie was and I would come get her in a split second if need be. Well, they had taken Kaylie to a cheap motel room, paid up for three more days. The worker asked them what they intended to do after the motel room ran out and they han no idea. They had a total of $3.00 to their name. The only food they had for Kaylie is what I had packed for her in her diaper bag when they took her. The dfacs worker decided that was not a fit place for Kaylie to be in of course and told them they had to call someone that could take her or she'd go in foster care, so of course they called me. In the mean time the sheriff who had came in with the dfacs worker notices maruajana cigs in the ash tray. So they arest my son and take him to jail for possesion and indangering a child. I don't know what they were thinking. Maybe they just wanted to mess with me.
    They both tested possitive to pot. They were both selling the stuff.They just have no sense, they don't seem to care about getting Kaylie back.I love Kaylie as if she were my own child, I will not let her come to harm, I won't let them drag her down. Sorry I didn't mean to go on about it, but it gets me right in the heart, she is my baby girl!
  10. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Thank you for sharing your story with me. It helps to know someone that can relate . How is your son doing now, any improvement? It is so sad what happens to some of the younger ones.

    Now, CONGRADULATIONS, on your beautiful new grandson. I saw his picture he sure is healthy looking. So glad your other children are doing ok.

  11. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Just wanted to say HI and curious as to how you're doing with your lyme treatment as well....... as well as to say that of course you should come here and vent.... I hope your pediatrician or specialist can be of some help with your adopted daughter, that must be so difficult and of course 2X2, well, they help each other out.

    So sorry you're having to deal with all of this, but knowing you've done the right thing I hope is comfort; and I hope your husband appreciates it in his more relaxed moments. It must be hard on all of you.

    Please take care!
    all the best,

  12. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    Yes, geatgran I can relate, I've been there with these kids of mine! They have tried to dive me crazy.

    The baby is doing great! He is just adorble! He and his mom live with me. May be that is why I am having such a time, lately, my daughter usually is there to help with my girls, but she has been busy having the baby!

    Victoria, thanks for asking about my Lyme treatment. I recently started on Lycria for pain and it helps. I really haven't been taking antibiotics, but I need to get back to it. My pain level is just out of sight lately. I don't know if I can handle any more.

    You ladies are so terrific! I just love you to peices!

  13. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Isn't it terrible with so much on our plate when we feel so horrible? Oh, how I long to feel "normal" just once again and then try to handle all the family problems, think it would be much easier...

    I am taking an antibiotic Kelly and it helps with the pain so maybe you might want to get back on it and see if it helps.

    My lyme test were negative , taking the AB for sinus so the doc says not sure why but it does help. The AB, Xanax and bufferin takes the edge off but thats about it.

    Does the lyrica seem to help, It made me dizzy couldn't handle the side effects as with most of the meds I have tried.

    Sending you a good day, hope the baby and daughter are home now.

  14. Pottersclay

    Pottersclay New Member

    Cleaning the house while the children are growing is like shoveling snow while it is still snowing.
    [This Message was Edited on 08/20/2008]