Kicked out of Pain Dr. office

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by CAgirl, Nov 1, 2010.

  1. CAgirl

    CAgirl New Member

    I haven't been on this board in a long long time but I could use some support. I went to see a new pain doctor today. I had my 18 year old daughter with me. The doctor and I weren't seeing eye to eye on everything and I was sticking up for myself. He didn't like my pain medications and the appointment had stalled so I asked him what he had in mind. He said "you have to agree with me". I laughed one time and so did my daughter. It wasn't a ha ha laugh but more of a shocked laugh. He starts yelling what is funny. I explain that it is because he said we had to agree with him. He stood up and yelled at my daughter to leave the room. She left. I though ok, he will calm down. He told me I was being disrespectful. I told he I apologize. He said you don't apologize, leave, leave,leave. I said I will leave I just don't want our meeting to end this way. He just kept yelling for me the leave. I left. Out in the waiting room I asked for my co-pay back. He went over to my daughter and told her to leave the waiting room, which she did. I can see and hear him out in the hall, in my daughter's face yelling at her that she is disrespectful. She never said a word. I told him to get away from her or I was going to call the police. Then he came at me. He got as close to me as he could without touching me and told me to leave and get out of his face. I said I'm not in your face I haven't made a move toward you, you are in my face. He said he was going to tell my doctor about me. I said fine tell her. Then I left. My daughter and I cried and shook the whole way home. I have had chronic pain for 15 years and I have never been treated the way this doctor treated me. It's really upsetting me.
    Thanks for listening
  2. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    It may be hard to do, but emotionally put this behind you and try to find a different path to follow, that one was a dead end.

    No matter who is right or wrong, there are more civil ways to handle problems.

    Some years back I saw a new rheumy was not listening to a thing I said, I rather sat like a zombie. Went to the check out, made an appointment to see her again.

    The next day I phoned and cancelled. Easier on the phone without face to face problems.

    Chocolate.... must have some from Halloween.... treat yourself to some and look in the phone book for the next jerk. Manners, diplomacy, and even common courtesy are not taught at med school.

    Sorry for the mess.
  3. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    I don't know how or where, but I'd report this doc...he sounds like he has some serious issues! No one deserves to be treated that way, especially by a "professional" health care provider. The stress from that would have been enough to send me into a tailspin!

    Sorry you had to put up w that horrible doctor. Take care of yourself. I'm in CA too, by the way:)
  4. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I agree that this guy should be reported. He is the doc and is supposed to be able to work with patients in a rational manner. Be sure to tell your doc about him because sometimes, docs will try to "blackball" patients and it could be difficult to get appts. with someone else. Also your doc shouldn't be referring other patients to him. Yikes!

    Love, Mikie
  5. Debra49659

    Debra49659 New Member

    What a freaking (not the word I am thinking of) butthole (again, not the word I am thinking of). I would report him to the police and the medical board. Don't they have some code of conduct??

    Seems to me he was taking his bad day out on you, and he had 0 right to address your daughter at all.

    I am shocked and dismayed that this can happen in this day and age. Yet I know it does.

    I am so sorry that this happened to you.

  6. CAgirl

    CAgirl New Member

    I wanted to thank everyone that responded to my post. I am still upset about this appointment. I have never been treated like this by anyone in my life let alone a doctor. Of course my pain is terrible today. My daughter was extremley upset. I wish I would have protected her more. I just couldn't belelieve what was happening.
  7. lisadot

    lisadot New Member

    Please! I'm a nurse, and so I can tell you any doctor who behaves that way has serious problems. Maybe he has a mood or personality disorder - I don't know, but he deserves to be called on the carpet for his behavior. He could of calmly told you how he felt about your reaction, and then allowed you to explain you had no intent of appearing disrespectful, but what he said stunned (or whatever) you, and so you let out a laugh which wasn't really because it was funny, but because you felt surprised. He needs to see a therapist to uncover his problems before he treats any other patients or their families. Sheesh!!!!
  8. CAgirl

    CAgirl New Member

    Thank you for all the support. I am still upset about this encounter. My husband tells me I should just get over it. Unfortunatly it's not that easy. I've thought about reporting him. I'm afraid that he is going to paint me as the one with a "problem".
  9. lgp

    lgp Well-Known Member

    I would calm down for a day or two, gather my thoughts, and then proceed as follows:

    ==Go to the local police station with your daughter and CALMLY explain the incident. Tell them that you are not looking to press charges, but because the doctor's behavior was extremely aggressive and irrational, you felt it would have bordered on violent if you did not take the initiative to leave. Let them know you want them to be aware of this incident in case someone else reports a simliar incident.

    ==Next, I would call my insurance carrier and report the incident. They have a right to know
    that the doctors they are reimbursing are mistreating premium paying patients. I would also go onto vitals or healthgrades and caution other potential patients that they may be treated rudely by this doctor and his staff. You can do this anonymously.

    ==I would contact the state California Board and report this doctor.

    ==Finally, I would make another appointment to see your primary physician who recommended this pain doctor. Bring your daughter with you to that appointment. Discuss with your daughter prior to the appointment exactly what you are willing to discuss regarding the incident and remember to stay calm and succinct.

    Good luck with this. It is an awful experience to not be listened to by a doctor. But to be treated so violently and irrationally is scary, and must be addressed at all costs.

    Please keep us posted on the outcome of this situation. Everybody here is in your corner.


  10. Beadlady

    Beadlady Member

    You might also report him to the Better Business Bureau and if you mail a letter to anyone be sure to keep a copy for yourself and send it "return receipt requested--that way they have to sign for it at the post office and you get a post card stating they did in fact receive your letter. It does cost a little bit extra for this service but it is worth it.
  11. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    I'd report this Dr. He has absolutely no right to treat you that way. Forget the fact that you didn't even do or say anything disrespectful, even if you had been in disagreement with him, you're at a pain clinic, he should be compassionate about people in pain and how that can effect one's moods etc. I feel sorry for his other patients - that's why you need to report him.

    His arrogance will catch up with him.

    Forget about it? NO. (only after you take care of it)
    Dwell on it? No.
  12. Molly B

    Molly B New Member

    CAgirl, I am so sorry you & your daughter had to go thru that!!!
    I totally agree with everyone who posted to support you. This "doctor" has some serious issues and needs to be reported. If you can get any witnesses on your side, that would really help.

    Remember: a person can graduate last in their class and still earn the title of Dr. (and this one is certainly in last place when it comes to "class")

    I applaud you and your daughter for maintaining coolness during this experience, but you really need to follow through on reporting him.

    I currently live in FL but am moving to CA in 3 weeks. I have THE best pain management team here, so am having some anxiety about finding one in Northern CA. Can you post last name & city where this awful doctor is located? I'd like to avoid him at all costs.

    Take care & you know we are all here for ya:)
  13. Tizz

    Tizz New Member

    CAgirl, that's the most shocking "how I got fired by a doctor who didn't like me" story I ever heard!!

    I don't have any special insights on how to report him but you might find out if he's in the American Medical Association. They have a website that lists all doctors licensed to practice (even those who aren't AMA members) and I THINK there's a way to report bad doctors to them... there used to be, at least.

    I also "get" how you felt about the fact that your daughter was there and got yelled at by that obnoxious jerk just like you did. I had a similar experience earlier this year with a neurologist, although it wasn't about meds.

    My daughter (who is 20-something) had come along for support because I knew this was supposed to be when that neurologist finally gave me her diagnosis. After 7 months of no diagnosis and of holding off on test info, what that neurologist said was that her tests had all come back "normal" [although I knew for a fact that wasn't really true, because I had copies of most of the tests] and that she thought my problem was "psychological". I was shocked and didn't say anything. Neither did my daughter.

    Then she said she would send me to Physical Therapy! Up until then I hadn't said anything, but when she mentioned PT I asked, "can't I get PT at home, since I'm here from out of town?"

    I saw the angry fire in her eyes, angry that I would dare suggest my family doctor could do that for me and furious that I didn't prefer to see HER PT! The neurologist said something sarcastic about my hometown doctors and even implied (with her tone of voice) that she thinks my primary doctor is a quack.

    Well, I have balance problems, and my daughter, who lives with us, knows that for sure because she has seen me fall and/or helped me get back up several times. So my daughter brought up the fact that she had helped me get up after I hit the back of my head a few weeks earlier and there had been a big bump where I hit. The neurologist blew my daughter off completely with a curt, "No matter. All the tests were normal."

    Then the neurologist started saying, over and over, that I was entitled to get a second opinion if I wanted one, and she would send them all her test results. I think it was mostly just her way of saying, "any other Dr. would agree with ME!" I just sat there and didn't respond. My daughter again tried to bring up the falling thing and the neurologist again blew her off.

    There was a very pregnant pause as we sat there, stunned. Then the Dr. said, "What do you want from me? I'm NOT going to do any more tests!!"

    I should have walked out right then for sure, but I didn't... like you, CAgirl, I didn't want to leave it like that. So I tried to answer the neurologist's question, telling her that I had come to her in the first place because I had a lot of unanswered questions about what was really wrong with me but almost all the tests had come back "normal", and of course she is a specialist. And I pointed out a couple of things that HAD shown up on tests...

    That really made her mad! She responded, cold as ice, "Well there is nothing neurologically wrong with you."

    And I admit, we walked out without politely saying, "Goodbye, and thank you for your help..."

    What can I say? There are doctors like that out there. I wasted my time AND A LOT OF MONEY seeing her and doing all the tests she ordered, and I ended up with no believable diagnosis and feeling very upset. Probably the worst part was that she blew off my daughter, too, who was only trying to help!

    I guess I should be glad she didn't actually yell at us and throw us out of her office, like that pain Dr. did to you and your daughter, CAgirl!!


    By the way, my family Dr. has all those test results too and SHE doesn't think I'm psycho, or faking anything. (In fact, she says she will never refer another patient to that neurologist.) She sent me, instead, to a local rheumatologist, who diagnosed fibro. She also sent me to a physical therapist who works with patients in a heated theraputic pool, and that helped somewhat. I hope your regular Dr. will be just as understanding and supportive as mine was.
    [This Message was Edited on 11/05/2010]
  14. Tizz

    Tizz New Member

    I think I "get" why pain doctors are so paranoid and inflexible these days, though.

    I looked up an article referred to in an earlier post, about a fired pain Dr. Check this out:

    "Paul Mannino, a family physician who worked at Mercy East Clinic in Janesville, was fired April 7 because he breached his physician agreement 'by repeated violations of appropriate prescribing standards after numerous discussions and restrictions designed to conform your prescribing practices to accepted medical standards,' according to his termination letter.

    Mannino contends that Mercy 'basically doesn’t want physicians to utilize opioids in the management of our chronic pain.'

    'In a time when abuse of prescription painkillers is on the rise, the use of narcotics for pain management raises serious questions about the risks of addiction or the diversion of prescription drugs to recreational use."

    "...But area pain patients say they are the faces of responsible opioid use for the treatment of chronic pain. They say opioids have restored the quality of life they lost when other treatments didn’t ease their suffering.

    'We’re just trying to raise more awareness. These patients traditionally have been shunned, minimized,' Mannino said. 'I think they deserve respect and compassion.”

    THAT'S the doctor they FIRED...
  15. Andrew111

    Andrew111 Member

    I wonder if he can be charged with abandonment of patient.
  16. ilovepink4

    ilovepink4 Member

    check out Aholeregistry dot com if you want some slightly juvenile, but satisfying action.....the website will send the doc a letter telling him that he has been listed in the registry....and there is a registry! you can have them sign it or you can have them send it costs $3 I think....there is also a female version of this....

    it was started by a college kid....and i heard about it on the Big Brother 12 show this of the houseguests is friends with the guy who started the website!

    i think it is kinda funny!

    I am sorry that you had this bad experience with this guy. Where there is smoke, there is fire. One cannot be the only patient he has flipped out on. Try to comfort yourself with that thought. you didn't deserve this.

  17. allthumbs

    allthumbs New Member

    It had nothing to do with the doctor, but with the receptionist. She did not like that I was demanding an appointment in a timely manner and did not like how I was getting testy. I received a certified letter saying I was being dismissed from their practice because I was the one that violated the doctor patient relationship!! It was pretty upsetting at the time.I I laugh about it now. I am so proud that I had the balls to stand up to that woman and am much better off for not being their patient!

    I called my insurance company and sent them a copy of the letter. The funny thing is, the receptionist got the least senior doctor to sign the letter, so I know the senior doctors/partners knew nothing about it until my insurance company notified them of my complaint.

    As far as I know, I have not been blackballed as I see a doctor a mere block away. I did not make as big of a deal out of it as I could have. I decided that it was not worth the time I would have to put in to fight it. I simply found a new doctor who is much more caring and interested than the practice I was kicked out of!

    I would suggest that you move on and find a new doctor. Don't forget about it, and if the opportunity arises that someone needs your opinion for a pain doctor, tell your story. I am in a position in my community where a lot of new people ask me where to find a doctor. Little did that receptionist know! I sure do know where to tell them NOT to go!

    I hate to say karma will come around, but it will. I also like to err on the side that sometimes, someone has a bad day, a very bad day. To show mercy, unlike that pain doctor did to you, can be the highest road to take.

    Don't let this experience take any more of your precious energy. Make a complaint if you think it will really help someone else, but will it remedy your experience and need to find another doctor?

    Good luck and try not to let this bring you down.
  18. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    This Dr. can't technically be charged with abandonment since it was your first visit.

    Also when I said to report him, there are lots of different avenues. I don't think you can sue because a Dr. was rude to you. I wouldn't even recommend that. You can rate Dr.'s anonymously on and I am sure there are other sites as well.

    I would absolutely tell your referring physican about your experience.

    What we need to remember is that we hire these Dr.'s. So next time wouldn't ya just love to stand up and say "You're Fired!"
  19. CAgirl

    CAgirl New Member

    I did report the doctor to my insurance. I have to be seen at the military clinic. I called last week to get my pain medication refilled. When I called back two days later it wasn't refilled. I called my PCM and her tech said she hadn't got to the refills yet. MY PCM's nurse called me the next morning and said that the doctor wouldn't be refilling my pain medication or giving me another referrel for pain management because Dr. Yabes (the mean dct) had called and told them I needed to go to rehab. I was in shock. The nurse was giving me attitude. I told her my side of the story and that I had reported the doctor. She said my daughter must have done something to make the doctor act that way. She also said my story was way different than the doctors. I told the nurse I have an appointment for this friday with my PCM. She told me to keep the appointment but she couldn't make me any promises. Luckily my husband was off from work this week. I told him I need for him to go with me to the base so I could speak to someone in charge. We finally got to see the second in charge of the clinic. He listened to me and was very understanding. He asked me how much pain medication I had left and I told him until the 14th. He said the first thing I will do is to make sure you get your pain medication. I see my doctor tommorrow and I hope everything is going to work out. I have been very stressed out. One of my problems is my PCM doesn't know me. I get a new one every two years because of having to use a military clinic. The medications I am using are fiorinal, codeine and klonipin. I have always used them responsibly. It is a terrible feeling to be accused of being a crazy drug addict. It's also pretty scary to be told you are cut of from your pain relief. This doctor definatly got his revenge on me. I still don't know what I did to him. Maybe it was because I refused to treat him like a god.
  20. ranger22

    ranger22 New Member

    I saw that you moved by now to california, I have been trying to find a good pain doctor in california near sacramento and roseville ca. I live in auburn ca and I cannot find a good doctor for pain. I go to one but he is terrible. could you help me if you have found one . I am desperate for good ne. my pain is so bad. 7 back surgeries.
    thank you
    (e-address removed)