Kind of disappointed about Thanksgiving

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Kinsie, Nov 21, 2005.

  1. Kinsie

    Kinsie New Member

    I'm having the hardest time keeping my feelings to myself.

    My husband's mother passed away last month, and he's taking it really hard.

    He told me a couple of weeks ago that he just had to get out of town for Thanksgiving. The memories are just too much, and we just must go somewhere.

    I told my Mother, Brother and Sister-in-Law that we were not going to be here for Thanksgiving. They all understood, and said they thought we should go.

    We don't live far from the Quachita Mountains in Arkansas ( about a 3 1/2 hour drive). A great place to go.

    I made reservations for a cabin on top of a mountain (at my husband's insistance). There is a restaurant not far that would be serving Thanksgiving dinner. Sounded like a good deal to me.

    The cabins have a policy that you must give 14 days notice if you have to cancel, or you lose your deposit ( $164.00).

    I went out, and bought some new things to wear, and arranged to have our little doggy stay at the vets office.

    Last night my husband told me he just can't go. He thought he wanted to, but the closer it got, the more he knew he just wasn't up to it. He already suffers from depression along with some other problems, and it really wasn't a shock to me.

    But....I am so disappointed.(Not to mention losing that kind of money!!) I was really looking forward to it. Then he said to make reservations for lunch at a local hotel that has a beautiful buttet at Thanksgiving. Then, a few hours later, he said he didn't want to do that either.

    He said he doesn't want to go to my Mother's house for lunch( they had decided not to have a tradidional meal, since it was just going to be the 3 of them, and my Mother is 88 years old, and sure can't stand in the kitchen and cook anymore). So that's out too.

    So, today has been a "downer" for me. He feels so bad to do me this way, but he's just having a very tough time. His whole life has been a tough time.

    I don't feel very good right now, but I was going to make the effort to go away for a couple of days.

    I just don't have anyone to talk to. I mean, no one. I count you all as my friends, so I'm kind of whining this afternoon!

    Thanks for listening. I have so much to be thankful for, that I really don't have anything to complain about, it's just that we haven't been anywhere in a long time, and I wanted to go!!!

    [This Message was Edited on 11/21/2005]
  2. elizajane40

    elizajane40 New Member

    Perhaps you could purchase a prepare thanksgiving dinner "to go" and bring it home. Set the table nicely, add a candle or two. Be sure to talk about positive things that you are thankful for this year. You could even wear something you already purchased! No one has to cook and you two can spend the day quietly observing the holiday together. Things change. Losing someone you love is difficult. But you can have a lovely meal together.

    Just a thought....God Bless and Take Care.
  3. Kinsie

    Kinsie New Member

    Good suggestions. I guess I could fix just the two of us a nice dinner ( or buy one!!).

    We don't have children, so we're used to it just being us anyway.

    About my husband dealing with the loss of his Mother. If he continues to have an extra hard time of it after several months go by, I'm going to insist that he get some counceling.

    Again, thanks for the replies.


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