Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by mammabek, Nov 14, 2007.

  1. mammabek

    mammabek New Member

    i know this is from a few days ago, but i have just started being able to get on for chat.i want you to relax a little about your boy. he lied because he could tell you were upset. humans are born sexual at birth, but they dont realize it until older. now they are bombarded with info and have so much knowledge. the problem is its kind of like knowing about nuclear bombs, but not what sets one off. my kids are 20 and 15. boy and girl. i learned the hard way to be truthful about sex. they had the physical facts early, but i put in a lot of things some people might think strange as far as how well should you know someone before sex and i sort of made it sound gross. i told them its fun when you are grown. i told my son what happens if he gets someone pregnant.i asked him if he wanted anything he would do to a girl to be done to his sister. he is still a virgin, by choice until he marries.we are not extremely religious, but that is still what he chose. my daughter, after i was extremely graphic about what happens when...all the way thru decided only a husband would be worth putting up with that. i also openly discussed self gratification as she got older (something i think people dicuss with boys but not girls. people who knew how i was teaching them said i was perverting them, teaching to early, or....turning them against sex completely. they will be happy to tell you it is neither. just find your comfort zone but realize other people are giving them extreme info that we would have never even considered. what we talked about at 16 they discuss at 6-7-8, lord help them. i will tell you it is my firm belief that you should not over analyze what you do as a mom. come straight from your heart, never from fear and you will not go wrong. you have always seemed to be very kind and intelligent...go with it!sorry if i overstepped.
  2. kjade

    kjade New Member

    Thank you so much for your kind words to me. That was very thoughtful and sweet of you to reach out to me like this. Everything you said is so true. You know, I see you read my thread that I wrote a few weeks back about my son. I have only been a parent for 8 years, so this was a big thing for me, and I was afraid. However, with the help of everyone here, and a few other friends, I was able to see things more clearly.

    I found out from my son what really happened (they were playing their little game, and this girl told him to write the bad words in later - I read it again and could tell they WERE written in later - I found out from someone else this girl has older sisters, so....).

    Anyway, I have seen no further behavior I need to be concerned about (not yet anyway...). I do watch my kids closely. I don't want them to grow up with hangups, but I also don't want them thinking of such things at this tender age when they should be enjoying being children, you know?

    Thank you so much for your advice, and for reaching out to me. I have had a very bad week, and I was just glancing through the posts, and saw my name. I was so surprised - you made me feel special. Thanks, dear - you made my evening. And from the way you write about your own children, they sound like wonderful children, and you are doing a FABULOUS job! Good for you!
    [This Message was Edited on 11/16/2007]