LACK OF MOTIVATION (procrastination is the thief of time)

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Butterfly_of_grace, Oct 23, 2006.

  1. Butterfly_of_grace

    Butterfly_of_grace New Member

    Gosh I dont know whats wrong with me...I have NO MOTIVATION to write out my bills, balance the check books, clean the house and get all the little things done that have to be done. I just feel like every time I look at my list of to-do's on my day off I get panicked and I cant breathe....like its all so overwhelming. Im so frustrated. I want to get back into exercising, eating right and getting my butt in gear to figure out how to dig us out of debt but as soon as i begin thinking about it I get all freaked out. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
    The longer I procrastinate the harder it gets and yet every time I make my to-do list Im sooooo overwhelmed.
    Does anyone out there get like this? what the heck is worng with me? I cant concentrate and I cant just do one task at a time...I get side tracked and then I just give up. I cant function like this, its too much. I know Im struggling with alot of stress lately...so much so that I was crying sunday morning in the shower because I was so totally overwhelmed but I know the longer I procrastinate the worse the list will get...yet I cant seem to tackle anything. I have all day without the kids on my day off yet it seems like everything is perpetual and I cant even make a dent in my list of to-dos. I really am struggling hear and i think its part of my stress. Before ya know it, the kids come home and Im struggling with four heads of homework and dinner time, dinner dishes, shower time, at least 4 loads of laundry (6 people in house) and bedtime. BY the time the kids are settled IM EXHAUSTED and I cant even function... and then POOF the next day is here and it starts all over again. As for tomrrow I go back to work and that kills the day once again...the list is then once again, growing bigger, and nothing gets done.

    Now, I do get help from hubby and the kids but hubbby is working two jobs and he REALLY tries HARD to help and I dont like to push alot on him. He will do it but hes exhausted too. The kids all have to put their own wash away, dust their rooms once a week, vacuum their rooms and "attampt" to keep their rooms neat (which they dont which adds to me flipping out). The three girls put the clean dishes away when the dishwasher is done, my step-son takes care of the garbabe in the house (emptying trash cans..when he remembers...he ahs to be reminded a million times which adds to my stress). So they are helping a little. Their schedules will soon get worse with fall/winter sports so there once again, my time will be limited. I just dont know how to get the most form what little time I have without being overwhelmed...WILL IT EVER END?

    I use to be so organzied, my house was always neat as a pin, my paperwork was always organzied, everything was always clean, neat and tidey ....now its all a mess...which is making me a mess. IM SO DARN OVERWHELMED!...to the point that I have to catch my breath when I think about it.
    PLEASE H E L P !

    [This Message was Edited on 10/24/2006]
  2. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    I've been where you are and it ain't fun. I used to wander my house aimlessly wondering what to do first....and by end of day had got nothing done.

    My doctor put me on antidepressants. I have FM and Crohn's disease and that is a recipe for depression if there ever was one. within 3 weeks I was beginning to feel better. I take Tofranil. I had tried other ones in the past but they did not work. this one does.

    It takes a few weeks to clear the cobwebs out of your brain but now I am better....things are not perfect for sure but I am functional and getting things done and working on decluttering.

    Good luck and ((((hugs)))) to you,
    Michelle
  3. Butterfly_of_grace

    Butterfly_of_grace New Member

    Can depression be the reason why i cant function?????

    or is it just the fibro thats affecting me?

    All I know is that the more I have to do and dont get done, the worse I feel about myself and the more of a failure I feel.

    Ims cattered brained and I too walk aimlessly around not getting anything done. I HATE being NONPRODUCTIVE. I feel like a loser!
  4. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    You just described my life to a T!! I too have kids, and i can't keep up, and i can't seem to make myself function!!

    It's extremely hard on the self esteem, I feel like a loser too.

    But i know we are NOT!! I never considered it maybe depression, i just figured it was the CFS, and lack of organization.
  5. shootingstar

    shootingstar New Member

    I don't think there is an easy answer. I think it is partly fm/cfs - the brain fog thing where you might start to do something and completely fog out and forget what it was that you were doing, get distracted by virtually nothing. Depression can be a factor, and in that case the right antidepressant may help - it can take a few trials to find the right one even if that is appropriate - not all work for everyone. Non-existent energy to the point where everything requires a supreme effort makes things difficult.

    It has been suggested on the board that we set a timer for 15 minutes and get busy, then rest for an hour. If I'm watching daytime TV I try to force myself to get up and do something during the commercials. You can accomplish a lot in just a few minutes. Some days I have not even been able to do this, but when I can it helps.

    Make a list of one to three things you want to accomplish during the week and try to make those a priority for work times. If you don't finish, don't beat yourself up about it.

    I have times when I can do more, sometimes virtually nothing at all. Yes, I wish things were different. I just try to do what I can, and try to focus on one major thing at a time and accept the fact that I need to allow a very flexible time frame in which to complete anything on which I am focused. Rest is a priority.

    A site called flylady.net. It's way too ambitious for just about anyone here I would think, but there are guidelines about how to organize your household work etc., and something there might help. Having a set morning and evening routine - not exactly what is recommended there, but one that fits my needs, has helped me. You might want to check out the site. Best wishes.
  6. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    I don't have children, but I would think that even a healthy mother would have trouble keeping up with working, doing household chores, a marriage and four children (and pets). Having chronic health problems must at least triple the stress you have. With your husband working two jobs, he must not be around very much, making you like a single mother at times.

    I can't imagine trying to do all you do. Are you working full-time or part-time? I work part-time, am married, have three cats and do most of the household chores and it is hard for me a lot of days.

    I don't really have any advice for you, but I just wanted you to give yourself credit for all you do do. I'm not a procrastinator by nature, but I often have things I want to do, but just don't have the energy or am having a flare-up. I'm doing better than I was a couple of years ago, but it is still difficult. I have to sleep part of the afternoon so I can function the rest of the day.

    So please give yourself a pat on the back. Being superwoman just isn't possible for most of us.

    Ellen
  7. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    You asked about depression....I think in my case depression is one of the definite factors...there are probly others. Both Crohn's and FM each by themselves cause low energy levels...working together they are like a double headed monster.

    I feel better on the anti-d's enough so that I can cover the basics, but I am not rarin' with energy and probly never will be....sad but true.

    but the laundry is done, no dirty dishes in the sink, once and a while I can even wash a floor. meals are made....they would not impress Martha Stewart but they are edible! My husband does the bills. It's better than it was.

    I also use the 15 minute technique. It works for me.

    (((((Hugs)))))and hang in there,
    Michelle
  8. tinktink

    tinktink New Member

    Hi Butterfly, With all that is on your plate how can you not feel overwhelmed on a regualr basis. Sounds like you need to give yourself a break and congratulate yourself for all you do do. One thing I am learning is that it is hard for me to do what I need to do if I am not seeing to my own care properly. It is very common for us to put our own needs last when it would be more serving to others to put ourselves first some of the time. I am also trying to let my standards for what gets done around the house become a little lower. If the kids rooms get bad, Muck them out once a month instead of once a week... etc. It's easy to get overwhelmed and overstimulated with this condition. One thing I have been doing is asking my sister or a friend to come over occasionally and help me reorganize and clean. I always feel some relief when I do this. And I also help them on occasion when I can. I have found I can tackle other peoples messes much easier than my own because I am not so mentally involved in the outcome of the project. Hope that makes sense but we do find it easier to do it for each other than outselves sometimes. When I get really overwhelmed I go lay down for 15 to 30 min and just let my body and mind rest for a bit and that makes it easier for me to retackle a project. Also find some one to vent with...if you can't afford theraphy find a friend or relative that you can call and just vent to once in a while. Make sure it is someone supportive and a good listener. It can be supprising how much just talking about everything can give us a since of relief. Well thats my 2 cents for now. Best Wishes, Diana
  9. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    butterfly_of_grace:

    I understand, too. I can be the same way. I no longer balance my check book. I use one credit card to pay for everything. Then when the bill comes in I call the credit card and do a bank transfer from my account to theirs.

    At the end of the month all I have to do is see is that all was paid with one easy phone call.

    nyrofan