Ladies What Do You Think of Silda Spitzer Standing By Her Man

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by lgp, Mar 14, 2008.

  1. lgp

    lgp Well-Known Member

    As you all probably know by now, NYS Governor Elliot Spitzer fell from grace this week in a huge and distasteful way, culminating in his resignation from office on Thursday. Meanwhile, his wife, Silda Wall Spitzer has taken a huge hit from the press for standing at his side during his brief press conference on Monday and his televised resignation on Thursday

    My first reaction was she should should have told him to F*** off and attend the press conference by himself. Then I heard some family therapists (and Dina Matos--former wife of disgraced NJ governor Jim McGreevey) speak and they said she did the right thing staying by his side. The reason? According to the experts, kids, and especially girls can put a weird spin on divorce, and turn on their mom at a certain point; them believing she wasn't there for their father in his darkest hour, when he needed her most.

    Also, with all the money involved, she may have signed an iron clad pre-nup when they married. She definitely has her reasons, she is a Harvard educated lawyer.

    I like to think there was three days between press conferences so the frying pan indentation on his head could heal!!! Any thoughts guys?

    [This Message was Edited on 03/14/2008]
  2. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    What just amazes me is that people think that they will not get caught!!! Forget about the moral issues here - I think we all feel the same on that - but just sheer stupidity if you ask me. I mean why in the heck would he ever do something so stupid - .

    Who knows what's going to happen when the cameras are off -
    She certainly stood up there with class. I don't think she looked like she was an ignorant woman...she knows what she's doing (I think)...
  3. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    I am sure she is in a state of shock and disbelief, plus they are being quided by a public relations person.

    Any way you put it, this is very sad. This man had a chance to be the president one day. He is young and was on his way.

    He must have deliberately sabotaged himself, why else risk his entire career and personal life over his sexual desires.

    Too bad so many other people must suffer. His kids will always live with the stigma of this. I am sure they were in private schools, etc. Its a whole different world and the kids (as usual) are hurt the most.
    [This Message was Edited on 03/14/2008]
  4. doloresf1

    doloresf1 New Member

    I think she is a fool to stand by him.

    He's disgraced the entire family. I wonder how much more we do not know about him. This may just be the tip of the iceberg.

    I don't know how she can live with him!

  5. kjade

    kjade New Member

    I have no idea how I would react (well, I do have an idea, but my dh is NOT in the public eye and he's not a politician). Of course, I think she is soooo stupid, and looks like a fool! BUT...I think sometimes the wives of these political figures take some kind of vow when they marry these guys that they have to stand there - looking dumbfounded - so they don't make the situation look WORSE! (joking)

    But what would I do if in the same situation? I really don't know...she must have something to gain from this..I feel for their children - at their ages, it must be embarrasing to say the least. I just don't know.........
  6. victoria

    victoria New Member

    I saw an interview with ex-NJ Gov. James E. McGreevey's now ex-wife about the Spitzers. She explained also she stood by his side because of their children, too; that she wanted her kids to know she didn't desert their father in his darkest hour. Those with class try to stay 'friendly' at least for the sake of kids... which shows these women as having a lot more class than their husbands.

    In all these cases, whether one's famous or not, it is hard to take. The fact that it makes national news endlessly must magnify it all by 1 million percent! McGreevey's ex said her response was also "automatic" in a sense because of being in shock and always having been there for him.

    While Spitzer at least didn't appoint a lover to a state job, the fact that he had such a squeaky clean reputation- so that merely a mention by him that a CEO could be doing something wrong could ruin a company - certainly made him a target in any event.

    The weird thing is he wasn't even a target to start with. It is amazing that he thought he could get away with it ultimately. I guess it's yet another case of people feeling omnipotent. And certainly makes him look like a complete idiot.

    I also read where McGreevey is writing a very 'honest' book about his life... I don't see how that's going to help his kids?

    [This Message was Edited on 03/14/2008]
  7. jmq

    jmq New Member

    my heart just goes out to her and her daughters. Besides the personal pain of it have it on the news and the butt of jokes on every TV and radio show. I have no idea how I would handle it...but I do know that I COULD NOT have gone to that press conference! It would take me much longer to process it and get over the anger and hurt. Then forgiveness might come about.

    God Bless her....
  8. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    She isn't the first woman to stand by her unfaithful man, and she won't be the last---

    Jacqueline Kennedy

    Hillary Clinton

    The list is endless---
  9. Char412

    Char412 New Member

    I felt alot of sympathy for Silda and her daughters. She looked like she was in alot of pain and i felt so sad for that. Her Husband should be ashamed of himself as he came across as so self rightous and proper to everyone.
    I hope this helps the Correctional Facility situation In Hudson, NY as he was adamant about the closing of the facilty in Jan of 2009. Many men and women would have to be displaced all over New York State and he didnt even care to listen to their concerns. I hope Govenor Patterson listens to their needs and takes it into great consideration.
    Lastly I think the ONLY reason Silda stood there was for her daughters. Spitzer isnt the first and wont be the last to let his nether regions rule his head. Its sad when they think they are above the law and abuse it in such a way. I hope the people in NY find a "Peoples Person" in Patterson, as it is time that they were truly heard on the issues that can cause a great inpact on the state livelihood of all of us.

  10. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    I thought of Hilary Clinton immediately. She did the same thing. Stood by him. And now she is campaigning to be President of United States and Monica Lewinsky is where exactly? Im glad Hilary didnt let her marriage bust up because of something physical. I doubt Clinton thought of Monica beyond what they shared physically.

    I have no idea why men are like that...I remember my married friend and her friend telling me 'men are animals, remember that'. This was before when i wasnt married. While i think my husband turned out a little more human than that, I am under no illusions he was a saint. Lol.

    About Mrs S i feel terrribly sorry for her, but Im sure the fact that she is a strong/educated woman in her own right has helped her withstand the initial shock; she hasnt gone to pieces, thinking Oh my God somethng was wrong with me or to the other extreme, trying to murder him and then stomping off swearing revenge. I guess theyll work it out in private and dont want to let the public in on a free family drama spectacle. One thing is sure, I couldnt have been that strong.

    As for Spitzer the guy, cut his b....s off, the idiot; letting his urges get the better of him to the extent of not caring how his children/wife would be affected, if it got out. Can't scientists develop pills to diminish mens libidos and cant the govrnment make it compulsory to forcefeed them to men in high places?

    God Bless
  11. stick2013

    stick2013 Member

    I have no respect for any of them. Hillary stayed to benefit her political career IMO!!!! I was disgusted by the entire thing and still am. I wouldn't vote for her if she was the ONLY person running.

    I think that these woman are fools......The don't need to stay in the marriage for their kids. They need to teach their children that a woman should NEVER be treated this way, and divorce the jerk and take him for everything......

    What are we telling our children????? That it's OK to cheat??? That it's OK for men/women to do this???? Just go on with life and try to work it out????

    We should be teaching our children the value of a decent marriage, respectability for ourselves and others, and how to obtain this.....

    Just my rant of the day.....

  12. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Yes, I do very sorry for her and I am sure she didn't want to be there at that press conference. As others have said she is very educated, knows her options, and was trying not the hurt her daughters or make it worse, shall we say.

    I haven't read up that much about it so I don't the ages of her daughters. However, I am sure it is a horrible thing what he did in the first place BUT to have it ALL blown up in the press, absolutedly horrible. Boy, these late night comics really do a number on them . Yes, they do deserve it many times but the family doesn't.

    Yes, she could have said I am not going to be there and just take care of it yourself but then the girls might feel as if that was deserting their dear father in his hour of need, as others have said. If the daughters are older they might feel just the opposite . None of us know the situation at all and what will happen because of it. Yes, it is good that he resigned. He had no choice but a person of that kind of character doesn't need to be in such a political or any other leadership position.

    I know myself, and I think I am usually pretty forgiving. However, feeling the way I do physically I could not take it and I would not be there. However, she is probably a pretty healthy and smart lady (and alot younger than I ). Of course too, my dh is not in public office, thank GOD !!

    Someone else also mentioned Jackie Kennedy. I guess she probably knew, or had an inkling of what was going on but at the time the press was pretty quiet about it to the public until after his death, and much later on.

    Yeah and Hillary more of less "forgave" Bill, at least in front of the camera but she had her own agenda as we can see now. No surprised there for me anyway.

    Anyway it is a very sad situation for Silda and the rest of the family. Some of these men just get such BIG heads they think they can do no wrong and anything goes for them - NO RULES !!

    All I can say for him is - What a BIG JERK !!! I feel sorry for the family but she is smart enough I am sure to get her life back in order eventually. The girls are another story. Many times these things stay with them forever (what their father did). If they want to forget about it it will take a long time, with ALL the reminders all over the media !! A very sad situation !!


  13. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    This info. is still so new. I'm sure the poor woman is just running on empty. I'm sure she feels numb, hurt, and a zillion other emotions.

    She is just keeping it together to get past this big hoopla. That doesn't mean she is or isn't staying with him when the dust settles.

    My guess is that she is still trying to figure out what to do and is leaving all options open----
  14. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Just happened to run across this...
    This is from basilandspice site, interesting read altho physiological differences are definitely no excuse for behavior in such cases... but is intriguing:

    Guest Blogger Mark Goulston--

    The question isn’t “What were you thinking?” but “Why weren’t you thinking (i.e. considering the consequences of such actions)?” Assuming that people like Eliot Spitzer are not outright psychopaths, but just significantly flawed, what is their flaw?

    How and why do people like Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton, Rush Limbaugh and multiple others engage in such stupid, career threatening (if not ending) actions?

    Bill Clinton during his testimony re: Monica Lewinsky said it was because he could. If such people feel they can “bend the rules” of the world that everyone else has to live by, what are the forces inside their brains and minds that might cause them to do so?

    Neuroscience may have an explanation for this. From a neurochemical point of view, power begets an adrenaline rush and an adrenaline rush can be addicting on two accounts. First, when adrenaline is pumping through your veins and brains, you feel purposeful, powerful and almost invincible. That is highly addictive.

    Even more addictive, however, is the desire to avoid the adrenaline crash which follows. One former champion athlete I know shared with me:

    “When you go from SOMEBODY, back to anybody, it’s the same as being NObody.”

    In essence, what he was describing was the fact that the thrill of an adrenaline rush is exceeded by the torment of an adrenaline crash, and people will do daring, desperate AND stupid things to keep their adrenaline level at a peak.

    From a neuroanatomical point of view, men have a thinner corpus callosum than women. The corpus callosum is a fiber network that connects the left and right hemispheres. The thicker the connection, the more in contact is the purely logical and purely emotional parts of our brains and minds. The thinner the connection, the more our logic and emotion are left to their own recognizance.

    Although men will say that women are more emotional than they are, the fact is that men start wars, engage in road rage, domestic violence, child molestation and other sorted and sordid behaviors much more often than women.

    One explanation for that may be that a women’s left (rational) and right (emotional) brains are more in contact and each will mitigate the effects of the other when things get stressful. Sure, women will scream, but it is the man who more often pulls out a gun.

    Now here’s the rap on men in power:

    Their left and right brains are functionally hypertrophied, meaning both sides of their brains are frequently pumping on all cylinders more of the time than less driven men. In fact the highly charged emotionality of their right brains can add fuel and fierceness to their goal oriented left brains.

    However, rather than both brains offering a “checks and balance” to each other, they can cause a synergistic and sinergistic relationship between the two and when that happens, say goodbye to conscience and common sense.

    First seen at Pajamas Media

    Not sure if that will all bear out as cultures change... female violence is on the rise in the US for instance, so sometimes I wonder... altho impact of other things (say, drugs during adolescence, violent childhoods, etc) may change their brain physiologies in a similar way?

    But it has been known for a long time that the corpus callosum is thicker in women, leading to generally more 'intuitive' thoughts because of it... or so I've read.

  15. tandy

    tandy New Member

    just long enough to stick it back to him HARD in some way~
    yes,..I'm talking revenge :)
    (not do as they do) maybe just make his home life a living hell :)
    then eventually leave with most of his money,the house,etc.

    his homely anyways!! no wonder he had to PAY for sex,... he's a damn mutt!! (I realize looks are'nt everything,... But its sure half the battle)
    His wife is better off on her own.
    He's a scumbag pig!!

    Ahhhh,.. that felt good :)

  16. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    I think life is to short to live like that.

    I hope she can move on, without him. no one deserve to be treated like that.
    If Men want to do things like that then they should not have familys,they should face life on their own.
    and not hurt other people with their actions,think of his children and how they must feel,what a loser,he is.
  17. Pottersclay

    Pottersclay New Member

    That is a hard one. I am not sure if I would have been able to stand there like Mrs. Spitzer did or not. I am sure she is going through a million emotions right now.

    We are all human and capable of falling into temptation too. I pray I never commit adultry on my husband. I have seen the scorn the spouse at fault goes through. No thank you!
    I think if we ever get "tempted" that we need to think about our loved ones and what it will put them through. Obviously Eliot Spitzer did not.
  18. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    She's an idiot!

  19. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    It's true there is a double standard for sure.

    Everyone had good points.

    I think it would depend very much on what kind of relationship I had with my husband. And it would depend on whether he sincerely asked for my forgiveness and was repentant or not. In some cases, I'd kick him to the curb and in others I would try to forgive him. I'd definitely need a lot of time to sort out how I felt first though because I'm sure I'd be in shock for quite some time. In the end I'd have to go with what my heart would tell me.

    When I think about my own parents and me as a kid, I would feel a lot better if my mother stood by my father.

    This guy got caught this time which makes me think it's highly likely he's done this before and didn't get caught. That's another thing to consider.
    [This Message was Edited on 03/18/2008]