Last SAturday lost my nephew who was only 19.

Discussion in 'Comfort, Grief and Advice' started by buzybeee, Mar 27, 2011.

  1. buzybeee

    buzybeee New Member

    It has been very painful for our family to lose our Rudy. He was a medic specialist in the Army in Afganistan, and he wanted to be a doctor. He is a Hero.

    He was killed last Saturday, tragically along side his superior, and 4 others were wounded and need prayers. Feel horrible for my sister and brother-n-law and my nephew's siblings. :(

    I guess I've been so depressed by these two recent deaths in my family that everytime I do something positive for myself, for example ...exercise I can't help but think "what's the use, we're just going to die".

    I know better to think that , but that is just the way I feel. I am sooo sad and angry. :[
  2. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your nephew Rudy, and I and many thank your family for his service to our country for us. I know that this is the second loss in less than two months in your family.

    Please consider grief counseling as when you want to go exercise you are thinking "what's the use, we're just going to die." That's the impact these losses have had on you and a sign you could use some professional help for a bit to help you through.

    Your family that has passed are important to you and other members of your family and you really don't want to go around thinking you're going to die too--you want their memory to mean more to you than that. A grief counselor understands and can start helping you to regain your footing in this world. Try it.

    I wanted to mention that you can keep their legacy by telling memories and events and stories about them or that they told you to children and teenagers from your family and to others. To me, it is a continuing tribute to your departed loved ones to keep their memory ALIVE AND CONTINUING THROUGH OTHER GENERATIONS. This is when some people even write a journal for themselves and the next generations or write a book. Keeping their legacy alive forever may be your path. Take care and hugs.
    [This Message was Edited on 03/28/2011]
  3. buzybeee

    buzybeee New Member

    Thank you for your kind and caring words. I was so depressed when I wrote that. I haven't sought counseling, I figured I would just talk to all of you. Not much on going in for counseling.

    It has been so painful.

    I am lucky to have had him in my life. Always positive, smiling, helpful and of course funny.

    Just read a beautiful aritcle in the LA Times today about Rudy. He had a piece of paper in his pocket that said: Goals "be a good leader" and "Become a surgeon".

    Maybe God has him as the surgeons' guardian angel, he is probably up there guiding them.?

  4. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Go below your post, a couple ones down, to a post "A man who lost his son." It is a realistic outlook on a couple who lost their son and how they managed through it, but is useful for anyone losing a loved one. I thought it was excellent article in how they strived to go on. Read it all the way through and see if you get some strength from it. There is very little activity on this board to actually help you through. A local bereavement group that meets in your area might be of some help--they sometimes borrow rooms in Senior Centers.
  5. buzybeee

    buzybeee New Member

    I will read it thanks so much.
  6. tenornote

    tenornote New Member

    I am so very sorry for your loss,and family's loss of Rudy. I am proud of him for serving and especially of his MOS-medic specialist, but I realize those words mean so little when you have a loved one so suddenly taken in a war.

    I am and will be praying for Rudy's immediate and extended family Buzybeee! My heart goes out to all of your family and I am humbly honored to mourn alongside your family.

    I don't know how this tragedy feels to you or Rudy's family, but I can only imagine your grief must be immense and the anger that may go along with that. My prayer will be that my Lord Jesus will supernaturally give His peace and tranquility that surpasses all human comprehension, to all of you.

    I hope my words do not irritate or seem irrelevant at this time. There are many types of "Christians" in the world, some in name only, and others may be way over zealous in their misguided attempts to let people know of the Good News.

    The Gospel or "Good News" is way more than a ticket out of a seemingly far off fiery place of quarantine.

    I have gone through many losses recently: the loss of my mother last year (April 30th '10) a foreclosed house (21 years), divorce (30 years), and loss of airline ramp job (25 years). I absolutely could not have gone through all these losses without Jesus, holding my heart and mind tenderly, in His Hands. I mean that in a very real way because I was already suffering from many things,including many troubling physical (back fusion,L5-S1 with hardware) and life-threatening personal issues.

    The Lord Jesus walked me through all these things with supernatural power that quieted my heart and mind. Because without a very real seeking for answers,true confession and repentance, and God's awesome divine, angelic presence (unseen but very much felt) in my lonely living room (separated for three weeks already from wife), I would have become a crazy man, and never made out alive from the house where I had helped raise our kids. Because it later became a sort of figurative mausoleum, a testament to my selfishness and stupidity for not seeing the precious lives of our kids in a more, loving, fatherly way.

    But thanks be to God who rescued me from...my self!! I was my own worst enemy.

    Please understand Buzybeee, with Scripture as our earthly guide and the Holy Spirit as our heavenly, we can understand that the present world we live in is Not, as it seems with our five physical senses.
    The Bible says "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers,against the powers,against the world forces of this darkness,...(Eph.6:12) We truly need to come to the place where we humbly realize our need of Jesus to rescue us, from ourselves...and our sin. And after we have repented(given up and turned around) received Jesus, He promises to take us all to be where He lives in heaven(Romans chapter 3-6)John 3:16,John 14 1:6.

    I love you with Christ's Love Buzybeee! You and your family. I hope one day I get to show it. I am still starting over, but the Lord is very literally helping, each and every "step," of the way. Ask Him Buzybeee, and He will lovingly help you each step of where He wants to humbly take you. Once you ask Him to sincerely be your Saviour and then your Lord, He will be your Heavenly Shepard, making you lie down in green pastures, leading you beside quiet waters, restoring your soul."

    Truly, He, Jesus, loves you so much, Buzybeee.
  7. buzybeee

    buzybeee New Member

    Thanks Jammin
  8. buzybeee

    buzybeee New Member

    Thank you for your kind, beautiful and hopeful words. It hit me so hard yesterday knowing that he will not be with us at Christmas. I try to remember that this life is only temporary but it is sooooo hard. He was so brave, did you know he saved a life while he lay dying? Such bravery, such a great young man at the age of 19. More than I will ever be at 48 y.o.

    Just want to thank you for your kind and loving words and taking the time to reply. It really helps knowing there are such God-loving people in this world. No matter what the terrorists do to us, including shooting my 19 year old nephew they can't take away his love for Jesus, bravery and love for mankind. Looks like divorce, foreclosure and the loss of your dear dear mother, won't stop your love for God and Jesus and others as well. This IS truly a strange and wonderful world. Thanks again. Buzybee

    P.s. Your mother must of been such wonderful dear and loving person to raise an loving person as yourself, God bless her in heaven. Sorry for your loss.