LAUGHS start your week off right ... 'DAFFYNITIONS'

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by victoria, Apr 2, 2006.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning
    submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked
    to supply alternate meanings for common words.


    1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

    2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

    3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

    6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

    7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

    12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

    13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

    14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

    15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

    16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

  2. TwinMa

    TwinMa New Member

    Nothing like a good laugh! Those are funny! Thanks for posting them!
  3. neen85

    neen85 New Member

    Thank you again for the laugh! My family got quite a laugh over the one you posted about the guy going to the doctor with "shingles" and the doc asking where....the guy saying in the truck!! Daneen
  4. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Here's one for the musically sophisticated:

    Dissonance: two oboes playing in unison.

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