Laziness? Apathy? Ennui? What is it?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by MsE, Aug 4, 2006.

  1. MsE

    MsE New Member

    I can't find the right word: laziness, apathy, and ennui don't quite fit. It doesn't feel like depression. I see things that need to be done and even on "good" days, I can't get my motor to rev up enough to do them. It's almost like there is a disconnect between idea and action.

    What about this? Anyone know?
  2. Jana1

    Jana1 New Member

    I know exactly what you mean...so much so, I can't even type much of an answer tho I sure want to. Jana
  3. shootingstar

    shootingstar New Member

    It's like I am missing a spark plug -- whatever it takes to get going. Even though I want very much to accomplish something it requires constantly forcing myself, and I frequently end up doing nothing instead. Would love to get all those gears engaged. It takes constant excessive effort and wears me down.
  4. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    We are ill, we are sick, we lack energy to a point that people dont understand, we have extreme pain. Our 'motors' dont work properly anymore.

    I take hours to even start functioning in the morning and thats on a good day, some days I dont manage out of bed. Getting things done, thats now my husband's job.

    Dont be hard on yourself, these are labels that others have for us. Do what you can, when you can and dont feel guilty about being ill.

    love
    Rosie

  5. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    EXACTLY what it is. (At least for me.) It's lack of energy!

    I don't let anyone call me lazy or a hypochondriac, not w/o an argument anyway. I remember when I worked in the daytime and went to school in the evening and still had energy for a social life.

    At one time I worked full time and had 2 part-time jobs.

    I was a workaholic and a perfectionist.

    It all changed when I was 39. I was working and writing a book in my spare time. The writing was easy, but I just didn't have the energy to get the thing typed up. Had to hire a typist.

    And then after a few years things were worse and I had to give up practicing law and switch to part-time work as a paralegal.

    But it certainly is not our fault; it is not the way we wanted things. It is not something we planned.
  6. Smiffy

    Smiffy Member

    It's not laziness, it's M.E. (CFS).
  7. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    ...but anybody who can use the word "ennui" in a sentence deserves applause!

    Seriously, I think a lot of folks here feel this, and you've described it well....a disconnect between idea and action. And it's an inability to fix that, not an unwillingness....

    Hugs,
    Pam
  8. MsE

    MsE New Member

    Somehow I goofed and must have clicked on the "post" button twice. Now there are two posts the same, so I'll delete this one after you've had a chance to read this if I can and just focus on the post closer to the top of the list of posts. I thank all of you for writing and direct you to my longer answer higher on this page. Thanks a bunch for writing! MsE
  9. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    It is great hearing from you..I have thought so much about you and how you are doing even sent you a post but no reply...

    I see we are still hanging on and I can so relate to how you feel..As we have shared so many complaints.

    We are not lazy maybe somewhat depressed at least I know I am but we are ill...and the age issue...But as someone put it Its CFS...Sure can relate...

    I have tried for years to accept this demon will have some good days never have a good week..SO decided heck there are things I want to do but just can't so I have tried to stop beating myself up over it..I do feel better with plenty of rest so rest it is...Don't think my motor will ever rev up to any speed...

    I still have my crying days, probably always will not that it does any good..

    There is a want to and not being able to...don't like it but guess we will have to accept it..

    Would love to hear from you and how you manage day to day..

    God Bless,
    greatgran
  10. deliarose

    deliarose New Member

    affects our motivation.

    But this is clearly not a mind over matter thing..you've got to fix the biology and then everything else will flow.

    I have started to feel better and I am much more motivated and active around thte house and on the professional front.

    I could not have done any of these things until I relieved my body of some of the huge burden of illness it was laboring under.

    I began with Vit D and an antioxidant regime. Fatigue eased. Started on antivirals. Fog began to lift in a week.
    Started on Xyrem. Bounced out of bed at 7am in the morning.

    Beginning to think I can see the effects of a detox program ...glutathione and green food supps.

    If you look at my posts, you will see that I sound almost evangelistic... and really that's how I feel about it.

    There are protocols and drugs and supplements out there that can help. But the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

    I thought all these protocols were nuts when I first started on the board a year ago. I'm a convert.

    Don't waste fruitless time berating yourself for something that is out of your control....focus on treating the illness and with health, you will find these concerns fading away.

    Just my experience...but ....others are also improving on similiar protocols.

    Delia
  11. MsE

    MsE New Member

    Yes! You are still here! I didn't see your post, but I'm at this board in spurts and spells. I'm soooo glad to hear from you!

    Just like you, I manage day to day without beating myself up too much until something happens and I lose that focus and start hating this illness and hating my situation and wanting so desperately to feel normal again--at least for awhile. I don't think I'll ever be at peace with CFIDS.

    Sometimes I wish it were over, but I don't get that blue very often and it is always momentary. More complete disgust with the situation than anything.

    However, I have some good news. I actually cleaned the kitchen floor and one of the bathroom floors this morning! Ta da! I am so proud of me at the moment!
  12. MsE

    MsE New Member

    There was a time when I experimented a bit with supplements, Delia, but as with everything else, I reacted negatively to all but some basic vitamins. About a week ago I added flaxseed oil to my regimen, at the recommendation of someone on this board.

    I haven't tried antivirals on a regular basis. What do you take and how much?
  13. MsE

    MsE New Member

    Two small floors cleaned, a small load of laundry done, a meat loaf made--I'm pooped and I'm through for the day.
  14. Callum

    Callum New Member

    I think, sometimes, my apathy/lack of motivation is caused by a bit of depression. Not chemical depression, just the "blues" one can get because my life is not the same as it was before the DD.

    And, I have to say, that my quality of life is back to a pretty satisfying level, and I know that makes me one of the lucky ones, but I still get blue every now and then when I'm faced with everything I can no longer do without "paying" for it later.

    :)
  15. MsE

    MsE New Member

    I think the kind of "blues" you describe can be expected, and I know I go there. But at one time I did suffer from a deep depression, and this isn't it. Thank God!
  16. Callum

    Callum New Member

    Isn't deep depression the worst? I'm glad that neither of us are still there - I can handle the blues, but I never want to scrape bottom again!

    Take care.
  17. MsE

    MsE New Member

    I left this message on my other thread by the same name; now here it is for all of you. I have glaucoma and cataracts and yesterday I spent too much time at the computer. Now my eyes burn. That means I'm going to have to stay away from the computer for a day or so, but I'll be back. My thanks to you Clallum, and to all for replying to my post. I truly appreciate it. And, I will be back soon. MsE
  18. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Cole Porter used "ennui" in one of his songs.

    "When we're fighting the old ennui..."