Left AA

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by NyroFan, Feb 17, 2006.

  1. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Hi:
    To all of you who worked to get me help: I wanted to let you know I had to leave AA (from self-medicating) because they did not like the fact I was on pain killers. I felt like I was being badgered and doing something wrong. I spoke to my doctor and he said to leave before I get wrong information from 'doctor wannabes'.
    Since doc increased pain meds and I signed a contract with him, I feel like I am on solid ground. No more twelve packs of beer each night. I was doing the wrong thing when I should have trusted my doctor.
    Thanks to you: I learned my lesson. I can not say I left without an education, but I can not stay with people who say I should be on no mood altering medication. They have no idea what FM/CFS is like. And I was being badgered.
    So I left AA. I did not lose any time there. I know that the alcohol was wrong. I learned my lesson. Has anyone else had this experience.
    Hugs,
    NyroFan
  2. smiffy79

    smiffy79 New Member

    you were extremely brave to fess up to us in the beginning and actually reaching out is usually the biggest hurdle.

    choosing to leave now is right for you,your right they dont know life in your shoes and should not expect to push you into a mould.
    your dr is aware and supportive which is great, you know should you need professional assistance you have it and thats better than 'dr wannabes'
  3. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I was, and am still...so proud of you for coming here and getting the encouragement you needed to take a step in the right direction.

    I know it was a good thing for you, I'm sure you've learned a lot...but it's time to take a step in a new direction.

    I sort of understand where they're coming from, but there's no way (luckily) that they can understand what our lives are like...even just trying to live from day to day.

    I think you're stronger now...in a different place and the contract with your doctor still stands so I really think you'll be ok.

    Please let us know if you need help in anyway...I'm so sorry you didn't find more support there for what you deal with on a daily basis...to badger you was out of line.

    Hugs,

    Nancy B.
  4. shan1078

    shan1078 New Member

    Hi, I have a question, and I hope I'm not prying. I must have not been following the post on that day, but did you start drinking because you were trying to kill the pain?

    I'm not on any pain med's right now, just Neurontin, and Mobic. I don't go back to the Dr. until 2 more weeks. So, I have been drinking about a beer a night, trying to lessen the pain. My last dr. did not believer in pain medication for FM patients. So, I'm seeing another one. But, I can definately see how this could quickly become a problem. And you definately brought up a red flag for me. When your in that much pain, you'll turn to almost anything for relief. For me, drinking a beer helps to take the edge of the pain, but now I'm thinking this should be something I need to stop.


  5. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i went as a supposed co-dependant...did care for it cause i never picked him up at bars...i left him stay in jail for 2 days...did go to his court date nothing...i didn't buy him booze..anyways..

    iknow there are other programs out there and there are books at the library if you wish you need some extra support...

    shame on them for not allowing you to be on pain killers...
    i was told that they will even allow you to be drunk or high as long as you want to be there...

    oh well

    do what is best for you

    jodie
  6. jhmitch

    jhmitch New Member

    Hi Nyrofan!

    As a close friend of a woman (with chronic pain) who found herself in a very similar situation to your own with her AA group, I'm glad that you:

    1. Realized that the AA was what you needed at the time so you wouldn't self-medicate with alcohol.

    2. Found a doctor with a contract which binds you to a specific standard of behavior regarding your use of pain medications.

    3. Took what you needed from the AA but thought it through and realized that your medical problems were not the group's problems.

    4. That you are taking responsibility for your own sobriety.

    I wish you continued success in dealing with balancing your need for chronic pain relief with your desire for sobriety.

    Though some folks may not agree with me, IMHO, if you are taking pain medications for the right reason (to relieve pain) and ONLY taking them as directed, it isn't substance abuse.

    Wishing you the very best,

    Janice
  7. neen85

    neen85 New Member

    Sounds like you have gotten control and have learned to manage yourself quite well. I wonder if these folks would be willing to do without pain meds if they were in a horrible car accident or underwent major surgery?

    If you were an overeater you would not have the option to just go without food,so I don't get the logic of going without pain meds because of alcohol problems? Besides the fact that you were not using your pain meds to get high,you were using them to controll real pain! Hang in there! YOu're doing good!! Daneen

  8. elsa

    elsa New Member

    I am still very proud of you. You have been very brave and out of all this have created a really good relationship with your doctor. You told him what was up and he helped you .... Follow his advice.

    In any treatment program (no matter what is being "treated"), if you are not comfortable or have faith/trust in the people helping you, then it isn't going to work. You made the right choice.

    Also, as wonderful as AA is, it is not for everyone. If you feel yourself start to slip, stop in your tracks ... post here ... call your doctor, etc. You will be ok.

    Trust in your strength ... look how far you have come. You are an amazing lady ... Keep putting 1 foot in front of the other.

    Elsa
  9. cindymindy

    cindymindy New Member

    I just read your post and I'm so sorry you were treated so poorly by your AA family. I attend AA weekly and I don't know where I would be without all the tools and support I've received.
    For me the program has helped me save my life. I sincerely hope you might take Vilkes advice and try another AA meeting near you. I have only been going for 19 months but I attended different meetings while trying to find the one thats right for me. I did find one that was definitely not for me, it didn't follow any of the AA principles. I'm not sure how they can call themselves an AA group and I hate it that new people going there don't get the help they need. Hopefully they will keep looking until they find a sincere group.
    I also understand where you're coming from on the pain meds. I take 60mg of methadone daily. But I haven't had anyone tell me that I shouldn't be taking it. I have had a few people including my sponsor tell me to be careful but I know they are sincere about whats best for me.
    I don't bring up the subject of my meds, its something I talk to my sponsor about and I'm comfortable with that. The subject has came up in our meetings though and I've never heard anyone tell anyone not to take pain meds. Just to be careful and take them as directed. Alot of alcoholics have been dependent on drugs or have switched to drug use after getting sober so we do have to be careful.
    Please try another AA meeting and see how it goes. For me I know if I don't go to meetings I will probably end up drinking again. I know thats hard for non alcoholics to understand but I've seen it happen to many times. People think they have got the help they need and they try to live their lives on their own again and sadly very few people make it. They either end up drinking, in jail, or dieing.
    There are also AA meetings on line. I don't know much about them but a member of our group goes there when he can't make it to meetings.
    I wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide. I've followed your progress and you've came a long way.
    cindy
  10. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Thank You:
    I welled up with tears when I read your comments to my post. You all have such great intuition and a caring intelligence. And it comes from sincere hearts.

    To the two questions posed:

    Yes, I was already on pain meds, but did start the drinking because I still had pain and was afraid to call the doctor. Now he is my best advocate. He took it all so well, but I had to sign a contract.

    As to finding another meeting: it seems AA people do go to many meetings in my area and many are the same people. I tried one other meeting (with the sponsor) and was suprised to see how many people I knew. And I know that news travels.
    One man said to me: 'So, did you take any pills today?'.
    I think I have had enough. If I find myself going into stronger pain: I will post here and call the doctor.

    Again, thank you for sharing your experiences. It means so much.
    Hugs,
    NyroFan
  11. mnweb6

    mnweb6 New Member

    Hi!! I am so proud of you!! I don't even know you, yet what you did was very couragous!!!

    I spent 4 years in AA being dragged over the coals and leaving there feeling worse than when I started!! I too self medicated largely due in part to never receiving a correct diagnosis!!! Now when I see people that I knew in AA, I see their faces judging me when I tell them that I in fact am not an alcoholic. I feel that I have to justify myself with them!! The big thing I missed about AA was having a community, and being able to open up about the problems I was having.

    I found just that in a recovery program called Celebrate Recovery. It is not just for chemical dependancy, they have a ton of different groups. I currently atten the Woman's Anger Group. We are looking into starting a Chronic Pain Group. Celebrate Recovery is a Christian Support program, and is usually with a connection to a church. I started going there 2 years ago, and I can say that it has changed my life...unfortunatly, I keep thinking I should be all better now, but my friends kindly and lovingly (without judging, and telling me what I should and shouldn't do)keep reminding me that it doesn't work that way!! When I want to give up, they stand beside me and hold me up!!

    I wish you all the best. I was afraid to take medication; to be honest narcotics; because I thought I would become addicted. I too have a contract with my Dr, and he at least listens to me when I am in pain. I don't drink more than a beer on them, because they make me sick!!

    Thanks for being brave enough to help others by posting your experiance!

    Mindy
  12. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    The reason they don't want you to have alcohol with painkillers is because ANY alcohol can cause the time release function of the pill to go haywire and all the contents of the pill will release at one time,potentially causing a fatal overdose.Nyrofan,You,ve been through so much.I'm glad that life is getting better for you.Linda
  13. atiledsner

    atiledsner New Member

    I USED TO GO TO OA FOR COMPULSIVE OVEREATING.IT WAS A GREAT HELP.IN MAKING "NICE" SO MANY TIMES WE GIVE OUT TO MUCH INFORMATION.

    WE WANT TO BE ACCEPTED AND UNDERSTOOD. WHEN WE THINK WE CAN TRUST SOMETIMES WE TELL TO MUCH AND IT IS USED AGAINST US. SOMETIMES IT IS LACK OF EDUCATION OF WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH.

    I HAVE FOUND THAT MOST OF THE TIME PEOPLE JUST LIKE TO TALK.OA WAS A WELL OF INFORMATION FOR ME AND IT SHOWED ME HOW TO LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF.

    I HAD TO LEAVE THE MEETINGS FOR A WHILE. WHEN I WENT BACK IT WAS LIKE A MEETING OF THE OPEN-HEART SURGERY PATIENTS.

    I NEVER DID GO BACK.I UNDERSTAND THAT EVERYONE THERE HAS PROBLEMS BUT SOMETIMES THEY WANT TO GET INTO YOU STUFF SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT THEIRS SO CLOSELY.

    I'M PROUD OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.YOU CAN KEEP ON WORKING IT.