Let the screamming BEGIN!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Oct 29, 2005.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I have had it. Here I am in pain from the fibro and all the other chronic pain condititions I have. And my husband comes up stairs and is not feeling well. Neither would you if you were dibetic & on insuin and had for supper a bag of corn chips and salsa & a diet coke. Now he is up and does not feel good becase his blood surger is to high. And if this goes like it does most time in about 3 hours from now he will be up again because the blood surgar is too low.

    Tonight is just another one that happens at least 3 time a month. Neither of us eat right for the conditons that we have. Both of us eat far to many carbs that is good for us. But I don't eat during the day , I am just not hungery like I should be so I just snak all the time. WE don't sit down for dinner and eat the same things like we should and I could benifit for eating a diebetic diet too. It would be good for me.

    Tonight when my hubby ate his supper at 10 pm it was a lb of fatty bacon and 4 slices of bread soaked in the baccon grease, I had 1/2 of a can of soup with crackers and a diet coke the first one I have had in over 2 months but I don't think I will be having one again as it didn't taste as good as I thought it would, now tell me is this a good diet for him?

    For his breakfast he has a 2 bowls of cocoa puffs with 1% milk. Those are not good for him they are HIGH in sugar.

    I have been thinking about my sleep problems and I know what they are now my husband. He is up 3-4 time a night or at least from 10pm to 1 am, he does not think he gets up that many times but he does and it worries me so much.
    What does this mean for him. He as days where his blood sugar is to low and he gets onery and cranky and is not plesant to be around,

    Then like to night he ate corn chips and a bottle of salsa & diet coke. No wonder is sugar is up .I am scared that he will have taken to much of his insulin and in a few hours his sugars will be way low and he will get up once more and eat a bowl or 2 of cocca puffs and he will toss and turn all night .

    I have asked him if I can go to the doctor with him and I get told NO way. He doen't want me there. AS I might ask questions about what he should eat, when , and how much, when he should test his blood and how often he needs to see his doctor and if he needs to see someone other than our GP.

    As for my eating habits they are not great either. I munch all the time. I will ask the husband to pick me up some red vines licerose that I like, but instead of him buying 1 bag he buys 3 or 4 of them, he will buy my icecream and not thing that i can fix at home and make a real meal. I know that it would be better for the both of us to sit at the table and eat some pan fried chiken tenders, rice cooked in lowfat chicken broth, green beans, raw carrots, & milk or water.

    Or to have a salad with chicken breasts with carrots , chik pea's,1/4 cup grated cheese, lettuce, NO fat Italian dressing. I know that things like this would be better for the both of us but he does not like to eat chicken and to eat anything that is a vegatable.

    I Know that he is not feeling good lately , he does not lo ok like he feels good, his legs ache and he is cranky about everything. His thought patterns have changed since he learned about his diebeties, suddenly he knows about everything and that he is right about it too.

    IN all the years we have been married his mother has had lupus , she could quote to you the lasteset tests that she had done and what the test was and what it meant , anda in thoses years before she passed he agreed with her that she had lupus. But now 3 years have passed and now he knows that she didn't have lupus it was her way of getting attention from family & friends and she was missing his dad, but she hadd this when his dad was alive too.

    He does not remember the past that we have shared for the 25 years of our marriage. the 1st 5-7 years he was a heavy drinker of beer adn would go t work adn then to the bar and then come home so wasted that he really hsa no memory of things that happened. I remember things that happened like it was yesterday it is things from today that I can't get right.He quit drinking early in 1985 after 5 years of marriage adn 2 kids.

    In the 1st 5 years of our marriage I had so many female problems and had babies and at the rriope old age of 34 I had a total abdominal hesterectomy with the removal of my overiies, tubes, & cercvix, to him these were unnessary things that I made u p because he was not home all the time. I had headaches and i did take tyelonl #3's and soma for them, so to him my paining pain now is the same thing as I had them only now I really am wanting attention .

    I am faking it because no one can hurt that much all the time.Except for 1 person his Dad. And his Dad had so many things genictily worng with him that the doctors don't really know what all he had at the time of his death. But Dad was the only one well maybe his brother too could have alot of pain but no one else. I feel it is his way of feeling in control of things that he does not understand so he makes him self bellve that he knows all and he know how I feel better than i do.

    All the time. I went to a church one sunday and because it was wet and rainy I used my cane , when we got home he said that he KNEw why I took the cane to church and I asked what did he think about why I used it. " "To get attention od course.

    " When I disagreed with him , got angry with me and told me that I just used it for attention and to get people to feel sorry for me. I don't do that. I was in pain that day and needed the cane so I would not fall or trip.

    My life is changing so fast and I am worrie about me and about him. I am so worried about all the changes. What can I do? I want to much for things to be normal for us and it is n't and i can't make it be normal. What do I do and how do I help him?

    We have been marrieed for 25 years and have been together for 25 year except for a 9 month seperatation after his mother died and he changed then so much and is so unsure of him self. I am worried about this.

    Life is changing so fast now. our daughters are moved out of the house and 2 are married and one has a 7 month old son. I want my husband to be healthy and to beable to do the things that he enjoys. I am losing this battle of having a chronic pain syndrome. I have so many pain disorders and they make me cranky and hurt so much and I can't handle it.

    I am tired of taking pain pills. And my husband thinks that I am addicted to my pain medicatations and that my doctor is a pain pill pusher and that is all he thinks that my dootor does is shove pain pills at me instaed of asking me how I feel adn what he can do to help me do I need PT . But my husband hates him because he truely feels that my pain doctor has gotten me addicted to the MSContin and I am not.

    It seems strange to me that I want to be included when he see's his doctor and discusses his diebtes & I want to know what tests he runs and what the plan is for his HIGH blood sugars will be, & he does not want me to be there or know anything about his diebetes.

    And I want him to be with me at my pain Doctor and for him to listen to what my doctor has to say about the condititions that I have and what the dianosis is for me, but he watns nothing to do with him or the appointments or anything about the condititions I have for in his eyes most of the are all in my had and I am addicted to the Morphine tht I take. What can I do ? I want him there to help him understand what I have and why I am so sleepy all the time and that it is not from the pain pills but from what I have.

    I would change pain dodctors to a doctor that my husband liked but I have no car and the closet pain management doctor is over an hours drive from where I live, and it cost so much to drive that far with the high gas prices. I want some acceptance from him and I won't ever get it as long as any doctor prescribes pain pills for me.

    It could be the best specialist there is in the world and my husband would not want to talk aboaut him or to him if he was prescribieng pain pills.

    You see he does not want me to have the pain meds they are bad and so is anyone that prescribes them to me. He won't listen to me that I have just as much pain from the spinal stenosis,& the degenerative disc diease, arthritis in my knees , & left wrist.

    AS I do from the Chronic Meyofacial Pain Syndorme & Fibromyaligia, it is the fibro that makes me sleepy and tired all the time and makes my muscles ache and I feel like I have been run over by a mack truck and the CMP makes me have knots that just twost and feel like they are getting tighter and tighter like you are twisting a dish cloth.
    I know that he does not belive in the Fibro and the CMP as they don't have a blood test or can be seen on a MRI or x-ray but the rest can and has been .

    I believed him when hetold me that he had diebeties, I knew that he was being honest about it and I knew the symptoms and read about them. But he does not belive in anything i say as he knows more about everything than I do and he knows nothing about any one of the conditions that i suffer everyday from .

    They make my life a living hell some days I am in pain 24/7 and all I want is some understanding and for him to go with me to the doctor. Have some faith in me that I will not choose a doctor that will just give me pain pills and nothing else.I am smarter than ttaht and I want him to know that.

    Sorry that this post is so long I really didn't mean for it to be this long and to be whining about things in my life. I do have a good husband but he is set in his ways , and he has this things that he is never wrong and he knows more about me and what is wrong with me than I do.
    Hd really does not know what I go though , he is just being a man who is the head of the household and truely belives that he knows all the things that are best for me in my life.I love my husband but I don't understand him well. I truly belive that he has this need to be in control of everything and his non accpetance of the condiitions I have is a part of that. I know that I can't change him so I am trying to accept him for him and how he is. He works hard and does well at his job, but being raiised in a home of an alocholic he hhad no control of his life , so now at our home he needs to be in control & to him control is his belif that he know & understands me better than I do. It is not right but it is him. And I love him but I really would like to be in control of my own life & to have him for once to understand that what I have is real.
    He is a good man and generous to but like all of us he to has his faluts and i defend him even though I am complaing about it now.

    Sorry for the rambling on & on . I didn't mean to be such a boob and a whiner too. So thanks for reading this and I hope that I didn't bore you all to sleep.YOu are the ones who keep me feeling better about me adn I am gratefull and thankfull for all of you.

  2. ellie5320

    ellie5320 New Member

    bottom line this is your life you need to be happy he can surely tell by the way you are walking etc that you are in real pain either that or you are eligible for an oscar:)
    My hubby is very black and white as far as life goes but luckily we just plodd day 2 day I only buy little food as supermarket is hell for me. you cannot take responsibility for his health you have your own to think about can his dr send him to a dietition ? I guess he has to want to help himself before you can help him. good luck and look after yourself first
  3. IntuneJune

    IntuneJune New Member

    I might be missing the point.........

    It's so hard when we are SO tired and achey to think our way through things.....that might be my problem with your post, today is NOT a good day.....

    but it seemed you did make a lot of points that folded into one another....

    Bottom line, very few will really believe us or respond to us in the way we need. In our perfect world (besides not having all the problems) our families and friends would UNDERSTAND. In my world, it won't happen.

    I miss that....my husband's cousin also has FMS etc and her family is very supportive.... now how did that happen?When I see and hear her family in action, it makes me sad mine is not as understanding. Luckily, they live out of state so we don't see them much.

    For me to move forward, I accepted (or tried to) the fact I was not going to get that support....too much emotional energy going down a road that was going no where. Now, I was diagnosed almost 25 years ago, (I was lucky to have gone to a rheumy who JUST had come back from a seminar). Not knowing how long you have been diagnosed, maybe you can still work with your husband... My husband did come to a support group meeting with me, this was over 15 years ago, and when I asked him what he thought he replied "the moderator did a lot of whining."

    So my humble advice would be, spend all your physical and emotional energy on self. Straighten out your own diet, concentrate on your own. For the time being, detach yourself from all your husband's and family's comments and attitude. Fine tune everything in YOUR environment. There is a lot of info out there. Besides looking at carbs, have you had a chance to look at food intolerances/allergies. That was a big one for me. My fatigue levels improved dramatically when an allergist told me what to stay away from.

    Well, let me stop here, my intent was not to lecture to you and because "posting" lacks the tone in which I am saying this, I am afraid this will come across as a lecture.

    Luckily we have this board where we can come and say what we need to say because so many of our family and friends do not understand. Hope you feel better, dear one.

    Fondly, June

    [This Message was Edited on 10/30/2005]
  4. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    Well Dear..........I also have a heck of a time eating right. Let's face it, we do not feel good and it is tiring enough just to eat at times.

    I have found though that if I eat more along the line of too much convient foods, I feel worse. Plus too many carbs and sugar makes my body crave more. We get addicted to it!

    Not good. I try harder all the time to eat better and I do feel much better when I do. You can have salad already fixed in the refrigerator. Some fresh fruits. Cook a roast with veggies that is big enough for more than one meal! That is easy. Can freeze some left overs.......just do not forget to eat them.......Love my soups. Stuffed peppers, pkg. them individually or two to a pkg. ETC.

    When I buy meat I bring it home and package it individually. Like pork chop in a sandwich bag, a hamburg steak, chicken breast...and then put them in a freezer bag. So much easier to take out and no waste.

    If you eat better maybe he will start to do so also. Please eat on a regular basis yourself........you are making your own sugars go up and down by going long periods with out eating. I understand why you do, but it is a bad habit. Habit is the wrong word. we just feel bad and take the easy way. I fight myself all the time on that. Do not make yourself an diabetic also.I admire that he stopped drinking!

    Maybe your examples would in time change him and if he felt better, he would be a more reasonable person. Diabetics can be cranky people and get depressed also.

    Wish you much Luck and Many Blessings........

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