LET'S DISCUSS POSITIVE WAYS THAT FMS/CFIDS HAVE AFFECTED YOU

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia and ME & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome' started by Lolalee, Jul 16, 2006.

  1. wordbyrd

    wordbyrd New Member

    I have learned to be grateful for the occasions when I have mental clarity, freedom from physical pain, and the blessed rest that comes from good quality sleep. Good health is a treasure appreciated most by those who do not experience it on a consistent basis.
  2. smiffy79

    smiffy79 New Member

    i would still be plodding on in a dead end job that was making so ill and i wouldnt be working towards my goal of dog trainer :)

  3. cymbeline

    cymbeline New Member

    I am learning how to take care of myself, to balance activity and rest
    i make time for myself
    i learnt how often people think about you, even if sometimes they don;t actually contact you and you might wonder
    I am becoming more in tune with my body after years of ignoring its messages because doctors told me there was nothing wrong and i believed them. Now i know they were wrong.
    I am empowered by realising that there are no "experts",(whatever they think), just people who may be able to help you along the way.
    I feel more connected with the world

    There are so many positives, even if sometimes in the dark times it is hard to find them!
    LOL
  4. AnneTheresa

    AnneTheresa Member

    In my extended family there is an elderly man who lives in pain. At family gatherings he typically seeks me out for conversation. I'm not put off by his wanting to talk about his aches and pains, as are the many family members who avoid him. He knows I'm also in pain and that connection is very important to both of us.

    Thanks for this thread Lolalee. After 25 years of illness, I relate to most of the above.

    God bless,
    Anne Theresa
  5. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    All of you have blessed me. I truly hope that every member takes a couple of minutes and reads this thread - even if you aren't up to adding any comments of your own. I say this because it has done my heart good to read the positive things that some of you have shared.

    Please remember that talking about the good does not mean that we don't still suffer with the terrible symptoms.

    However, reading all of your responses encourages me and tells me that despite these enormous challenges, we can still prosper and grow and learn and become better people.

    Last Sunday, as I hobbled with my cane down the step leading from the music area by the altar at church to my seat with the congregation, one of the ladies looked at me and said "you are awesome". And, she wasn't referring to my singing. With those words she was telling me that she knows how I suffer with FMS and CFIDS and yet I come to church (as often as I'm able) and sing praises to God. I think of that now and you know what - she's right. I am awesome - and so are each of you. Anyone who suffers with the symptoms and the losses that these illnesses bring and can smile and sing and love and go on living with courage is mighty awesome.

    I hope you take this the way I intend it. I don't want to sound proud, but it takes courage to keep on keepin' on.

    Blessings,

    Lolalee
    [This Message was Edited on 07/18/2006]
  6. sascha

    sascha Member

    interesting responses- thanks
    for me, i am proud of myself for following through and doing my best when people need me - like recently moving back east to help my sister through final stages of ovarian cancer- it was so hard, but she was so wonderful and taught me so much.
    and also, conversely, finding that i cannot take care of other people anymore right now. it's a full time job keeping myself on my own health path so that i keep above my crashing threshold as much as possible. recently, well, now, my aunt has been in hospital and in terrible distress and i was the one to take over. i think i have had to learn the extremely hard way, that i'm not up to it. i've taken steps (through personal meltdown) to get others involved in her care, including social services. just realizing i'm worth putting myself first now, and taking steps to make this happen. i've never done this before.
    and when i can't do something (this happens a lot); i don't hurt myself more by getting mad about it. i accept the inevitable with a lot more peace.
    and yes, the spiritual aspect- knowing that i matter, which i think has always been a hard thing for me to realize.
    what a great topic- thanks- sascha
  7. victoria

    victoria New Member


    1 -- I have definitely re-evaluated what makes me happy...

    2 -- AND my problems and successes/failures made it possible for me to be educated enough about stealth pathogens by the time my son started showing up with all my symptoms plus worse ones at age 17.

    Thus I was be able to cut thru all the nonsense we could have gone thru -- therefore not only saving money, but wasted time and heartbreak we would've spent and experienced running around to different doctors -- to get a Lyme dx for my son.

    His internist didn't have a clue as to what was wrong with him, or even to whom to refer him after all his regular blood tests came back as 'normal'.

    I'm definitely making limeade outta Lyme here...
    Victoria


    [This Message was Edited on 07/18/2006]
  8. joanng

    joanng New Member

    "Meeting" all of you and seeing how people really care for each other. If I didn't have fibro I wouldn't have had the blessing of you all in my life. Thank you all.
  9. joanng

    joanng New Member

    "Meeting" all of you and seeing how people really care for each other. If I didn't have fibro I wouldn't have had the blessing of you all in my life. Thank you all.
  10. Chootik

    Chootik New Member

    It took CFS to realize that I wasn't being nice to myself, that I didn't really love myself to take care of my body and my mind, and that's the major reason why I developed CFS!

    It was the worst thing that happend to me, but at the same time maybe the best! It changed the way I live my life, the way I think about things and how I will live from this point on.

    So I guess at the end, it was a good thing. I just hope I make it out of this ok and can go on living with all the lessons that I've learned in the past 3 years.

    Love to all.
  11. cjcookie

    cjcookie New Member

    My friend's Mom invited me to her home for my friend's birthday dinner. You would have thought someone gave me a million bucks. I had sooo much fun. The food was delicious but it tasted 100 times more delicious to me than the rest of them, I'm sure. I appreciated it way more than I would have before Fibro.

    If I didn't have Fibro, I never would have found out what joy it is to have a pet. I got my Shih Tzus to help with depression and boy what I was missing.

    There are more things but I've got to go to bed. I'll post again tomorrow.
  12. StephieBee

    StephieBee New Member

    I love my father dearly. But after being dx'd with FM/CFS, I have grown closer to him. My father had a serious accident at work in 2000 after falling down a flight of stairs. He seemed to be OK for a short period of time after. Then came the pain. Unrelenting, excruciating pain that you could see on his face. He suffered a spinal/neck injury that is permanent. He underwent many surgeries and had a metal plate place in his neck. He is partially paralyzed on his left side, walks with a cane, and experiences no relief from the pain no matter what the drug or how high the dose. He has been through hell and back literally. I truly didnt understand the kind of chronic pain he felt until I started getting symptoms of FM. I now understand what a sweet, kind and selfless man he is for trying to go out of his way to provide for his family which includes my mother, myself and 3 younger sisters. He gets up everyday and atleast tries. He suffers in silence as we all do sometimes. I know his pain is far greater than my pain, and I always put him first. We have become best friends...not having pity parties together, but just doing things that friends would do. He is my inspiration, and I believe that I would never understand his life if I had never been dx'd. Sorry for rambling. I just love him so much.

    Stephanie
  13. tata1580

    tata1580 New Member

    Thanks for this post, it helps to look for positives to uplift you when the negatives are slapping you around everyday..

    I do know who my true friends are..

    I now want to skip the bs and get to the point..

    Even though I still get aggrevated with my husband (law of the land) I can see how much he tries in his own way to help me get along with a beast that he just does not understand and quite frankly who really does.

    I am much more compassionate and empathetic with others

    A much better listener

    Enjoy small stuff

    I know that the good things in life I am more apt to remember than the bad..

    spritutal awakings

    Have a real desire to help others in anyway that I can


    Hope you all have something good happen to you today!
    Tami
  14. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    It has taught me also to take care of myself. Mind ,Body and Spirit. I have learn to treat myself like I would a best friend. I think the most important thing for me, is I have learn to say the word NO and not feel guilty for saying it.

    I use to always put others needs ahead of mine ,even if I would get sick from it . I learn I am the keeper of my own Body ,Mind and Spirit so what I do to take care and protect it is to stay as healthy in all three that I can.

    I am totally enjoying my new found friend ,Myself. I do special things for me now like meditate, more hot baths, special tea drinks. I have made myself matter in this life to me. I never took time for me before.

    I still have pain 24-7 and there is so much I do not like about this DD but I am also trying to use positive thinking as much as I can. It's so easy to get down because of it .This is one way I fight back so it can't take everything away from me.



  15. IntuneJune

    IntuneJune New Member

    I used to be a lap swimmer in my former life, also a jogger, hiker etc.

    After starting physical therapy, I started back in the pool doing "therapeutic" type of exercises and worked up to a "regular" aerobics class.

    Water is a healer.

    So much so, I studied to be an aquatics instructor and teach 4-5 classes a week.

    This from a gal who would/could not speak in front of folks!!!!

    June
  16. blessedmom2four

    blessedmom2four New Member

    Your comments about church are sooooooo true.

    I find that being sick for so many years has actually strengthened my faith as it has my sister and niece's.

    I'm MUCH more grateful to God for the unlimited grace and mercy He's extended me than I probably would have been had I been healthy and had a great career.

    I love what Matthew Henry [wrote entire commentary of the Bible] says referring to Job 14: 'Nothing comes to pass by chance.....disease is His servant.' Knowing this is God's will for me makes it bearable

    I have to aggree with this, in the begining of this illeness i was way back slidden, making alot of bad choices and not having a realationship with the Lord.Since then my relationship has grown so greatly...
    Even through all the persecutions relating to this illness i am happy to say i can still stand strong in the Lord, because of his mercy
  17. SweetT

    SweetT New Member

    It forced me to slow down and prioritize, cut all of the energy-draining people and things from the forefront of my life, and reawakened my spirituality.
  18. JulieO

    JulieO New Member

    I appreciate the good days more.
    I don't take anything for granted.
    I've been forced to slow down and take better care of myself.
    Besides that I'm pretty PO'd about the whole thing ;-)
  19. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    LOL, I love your honesty. Yep, PO'd really sums it up some days. But, I'm glad to see all the good stuff you wrote, too.

    I am really so pleased that this thread is still moving along. It's wonderful that we can see the good even when our bodies are screaming in pain.

    Love you guys,

    Lolalee
  20. atthezoo

    atthezoo New Member

    Well this is going to sound strange but I feel I'm blessed to have fibro. Right out of high school I got a job in New York as a nanny. On my days off I lined up jobs for house cleaning and went to Iona State for Photography at night. I ran 3 miles a day and exercised 1-2 hours a day.

    When I moved back to MN and married I had two kids. Suddenly a single mom with two kids, both under the age of treh I knew I had to work and go to collage with a more realistic goal. I worked full time and went to collage full time plus worked overnight on the side Thurs- Sat. The only time I saw my kids was to drive them to different day cares. Although I did take them on the overnights.

    Then one day after class I couldnt walk. I was in so much pain totally out of the blue. After being diagnosed with fibro I dropped out of school but kept my job. I was a high stress mother and always on the go. At this point I did get to see my kids more but was still a crabby high stress mom. I didnt want to be home and ran the kids everywhere T-ball, play dates and such.

    Well I took them to a family fun day in Jan. That's when I broke my back. This is exactly what I needed. I had 3 months to lay in bed and see my life was going nowhere. During this time my kids where in foster care and I missed them sooooooo much. Even though they could visit a lot.

    Between Fibro and my broken back I finally learned what was important. Family, family, family.

    When I was in bed for 3 months a neighbor I didnt know made sure I had dinner every night and even did ROMS with me. The person I thought was my best friend did not come over once.

    I have learned not to judge anyone. I have learned to believe in God. I have learned that people really do care about me. I have learned the true meaning of friendship. I have learned that the pain will get better. I have learned that if we stay home a whole day the world can make it without me. I have learned the joy of being pampered. Long baths and good books.
    A child's smile is more important then a good paying job.
    The most important thing I learned from fibro is that life is what you make it.

    Now that I have been forced to slow down Ive also been able to find true love.

    I also found Tammy a wonderful friend I met through a fibro support group and we talk every day.

    So I can honestly say I'm blessed to have fibro. With out it I would never had found the peace of mind and happiness I now have in my life.