LET'S DISCUSS POSITIVE WAYS THAT FMS/CFIDS HAVE AFFECTED YOU

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia and ME & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome' started by Lolalee, Jul 16, 2006.

  1. sandra_c6e1

    sandra_c6e1 New Member

    Hi Lolalee,

    What a great question and thought.
    For myself, this was a sign. My body is communicating to me and leaving me no choice but to listen within and take care of myself.
    I always believe there's a reason for everything in life.

    I enjoyed this posting greatly.
    Take care all
    (((((((()))))))
    Sandra
  2. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    Your post brought tears to my eyes. To see the good in all of your struggles is definitely a huge blessing. It is wonderful to allow others to do things for us. That's a hard one for most of us who are so used to doing for everyone else.

    But, you know what I have learned? In many instances it is pride that keeps us from asking for help. At least I can say that in my case.

    Love you all,

    Lolalee
  3. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    better person since dx with dd!

    I stopped taking so many things in my life for granted!

    I definatley appreciate many, many, more things.........like having a day that is NOT filled with as much pain as maybe yesterday was........

    I appreciate that I have a body that works even though is is struggling..........I appreciate that my illness is not terminal even though there are days I might feel otherwise! LOL

    I have learned to care more, to give more, and to make the most out of each day I have...........I appreicate life so much more.......I never realized just how much I took many things in my life for granted until they were limited by dd!

    More than anything else I can think of right now....I learned to let go of the "small" things in life........that seem troubling and save my precious energy for only the things I know I can truly do something about!

    Life is too short and dd has made most of us know the "true" meaning of that saying!

    XO
    Doxy
    [This Message was Edited on 07/20/2006]
  4. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    that people I thought were my friends were never truly friends. At least I'm not deluding myself anymore.

    I have also learned that most people "love" yu for what you can do for them, and when you are no longer useful, you are no longer needed or included in their lives. Another sad truth that makes me look to see if that's my outlook....and it isn't.

    I'm thankful for my husband who isn't a user...he is a real keeper.

    Otherwise, I really can't think of much positive. When your whole life vanishes, it's kind of hard to see much worth jumping up and down about...even if I could do that!
  5. gotyakat

    gotyakat New Member

    No offense Lolalee, this isn't directed at you personally. But I once went to church, every day the doors were open. I've always been compassionate, had a "closer walk w/ God", and was grateful for all of the little things in my life. After years of battling a non-stop exhaustion, body in pain and loss of all cognitive abilities that I once had~ being a perfectionist, always organized with an apt so clean I'd eat off of the bath floor,(as one of the others posted, she became more "organized")where can I possibly find any good. Sure I was a "stay at home mom". But how good was that for my young toddler, I was a single mom with no dad involved! I stayed at home, mostly on the couch barely able to move, and the mommy that my young son once knew lost me! How can I ever find anything positive in ANY of this? I quit church, because my pastor didn't understand the diagnosis and was very rude in speaking to me about it. Haven't been back! There went that walk. And anyone who can become more "organized" with this illness either doesn't have it or is very new with the diagnosis! Sorry! That's why it's called "brain fog". And as for the mom's who are happy to be able to be "stay at home", they have a husband or some other type of income or resources. On disability, back then, I barely made $500/mo. Now, barely 600/mo. No husband. No boyfriend. You may feel that I am bitter as I write this. And possibly another day I will look back and regret this because it is written out of being "bitter". All I'm trying to do here is be HONEST!! I have noone to talk to about my disease or how it feels to have been turned away from my friend/minister, my friends from before and my entire family. I have zero support. If I have offended anyone, I am sorry. But just try to understand that I'm just being honest, because I can't be honest with anybody else!!!! Thanks for letting me vent!
  6. middy

    middy New Member

    I like this idea and as I .
    am new here and just reading posts and getting to see first hand that i am really not alone=as I come from a small town and the only one here who has Ra

    I am grateful to have found you and to think you were here all this time--thank you

    I am grateful for the things I can do because there always times that I can't do them so when I can it makes me happy.

    and am very grateful for my family who watch out for me and always sense when I could use a little help and just dig in with no questions asked.

    many morethankfuls that some of you have already mentioned

    oh and I am happy to never have to peel potatoes again
    lol Middy
  7. Cinlou

    Cinlou New Member

    It is really very hard to think of positives, but I have found that I don't stress so much about house work anymore....I can sit here and read or post to my friends here on the MB while the dust accumulates on the furniture,
    the toilet bowl needs scrubbing etc...I guess I'm saying I'm able to stop and smell the roses more...

    Even though fibro fog can get me, I have learned so much about these DD, from all of you and just surfing....it keeps my mind active and hopefully young.

    I'm able to kick back with my kids more, just talking, getting to know their friends...life is so short, I have come to be aware of this more each day.

    FM has shown me to have more patience with people that give me a hard time...There is always some worse off then I am.....always.

    I think this DD has made me a more compassionate person.

    It has not made me a better speller though! LOL!

  8. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    I can certainly relate to what you're saying. I wrote just above you in this thread...my sentiments were much as yours; however, you have had a much harder time than I.

    Just wanted you to know someone understands and that I'm glad you could vent.

    Take care.

    Sue
  9. gotyakat

    gotyakat New Member

    Thanks for your support and understanding!!!! Maybe I WILL find something positive in here! But it's good to know that I can express my feelings as honestly as I did without catching a lot of slack from the others. So far, it seems that I'm not the only frustrated one here. Kathy (gotyakat)
  10. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    Many frustrated. My frustration varies from day to day, but overall, it's the pits.

    Hang in there. I guess that's all we can do at this point.

    (-:
    Sue
  11. Mini4Me

    Mini4Me New Member

    Bed!! I'm so glad I no longer have to fake it through my day at work. My job was killing me. I love my bed and make sure it is always dolled up with cozy, fun sheets, pillows, and comfortors. I spend a lot of time in my bed, and I'm grateful I can now do that when I need to!
    Mini
  12. suzette1954

    suzette1954 New Member

    put my 2 cents in. I see things I never paid attention to before. The tiny wild flowers that come up in my yard. They are perfect minatures of the big ones. I see beautiful clouds and perfect trees. I was always so busy with my life. When you walk with a cane and must always walk slowly, you see things you never noticed before. I also love to hear the birds sing and watch them in my yard.
    But most of all, I cherish my husband who has not waverd one time since I got FM and since I had to go on disability. I also spend alot of time praying

    Suzette
  13. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    I see that my old post has been resusitated. I went back and read some of the things that you all have said. First of all, please, there is no need to apologize or feel badly if right now there is nothing in your life that you can call positive. Your feelings are valid. I wasn't looking for a phony, pie-in-the-sky, pollyana response from anyone. I just wanted to hear about real feelings. Sometimes life is just too hard. But, sometimes if you look hard enough, you can find a tiny thing that is good and for the moment it is enough to take your mind off the pain.

    My life has changed since I started this thread. I had good reason to be thankful for going to church back then, because now my health does not allow it. Still, I search for the good in my life and can find a lot of it. This illness can be all-consuming and overwhelming, but when I don't dwell on it, there are little blessings all around me. For instance,I could be as sick as I am and not have a roof over my head or comfy bed or food in my fridge.

    If I have to be sick, I am going to try not to be sick AND bitter and hopeless. And, friends, please, please know that I am not judging anyone....I'm not walking in anyone's shoes, but my own.

    Wishing everyone more of the good and less of the bad,

    Lolalee
    [This Message was Edited on 10/13/2006]
    Soul* likes this.
  14. sonjahuffman

    sonjahuffman New Member

    Well, I feel that there has been very little positive from having CF. I feel it has robbed me of many things. Because I do require more rest, I have more time for reading and watching tv such as Oprah and Dr. Phil. It has kept me at home which the last few years has felt isolating and lonely, but I do get to spend more time with my kids. Its hard to be grateful when so much has been taken away.
  15. webintrig

    webintrig New Member

    Lolalee

    You are a true blessing to me as well as all others.

    I can related to many things that have been expressed here on this post and had told a youth pastor these things when he ask me about my condition. These things I have come to learn from having this disease and being reborn again in the Lord.

    I look at these condition{s} as a rose.

    I {you} are the beautiful rose the Lord has made.

    the long stem of the rose is consider my {your} life which the Lord gives you.

    the thorns on the stem represents to me illnesses, trials, or storms that we face in our lifetime.

    Some stems {people lives} have alot of thorns and some don't...

    In the end though what is on top of that stem is what is..

    "A Beautiful Rose" ....."It is you"

    Thank you so much for being here my friend{s} for me in my time of need!

    Soft hugs,
  16. penstemon

    penstemon New Member

    This illness has taught me to have more understanding for those with misunderstood illnesses.
    I've also gained a deeper appreciation for my husband who has been there for me all these years.
    I've learned that sitting still and looking around me can bring a sense of wonder back to my life.
    I've gained a greater spirituality.
    I've gained the courage to stand up for myself more.
    And I've also had the time to further my education, which has opened up new possibilities, especially learning to use the computer.
  17. Leaknits

    Leaknits New Member

    LET'S DISCUSS POSITIVE WAYS THAT FMS/CFIDS HAVE AFFECTED YOU

    I don't have to work.
    Of course, I can't work, but that's beside the point.

    I can stay in bed as long as I want to.
    I have to stay in bed a lot...just one of the joys of this dd.

    I have more time to read.
    I can't remember when on page 2 what happened on page 1 but that's just another upside since I won't have to buy many books.

    I can spend more time knitting sweaters, socks, things like that.
    Right. And spend 90% of my life in what I slept in.

    I don't have to deal with too many people.
    Those people have stopped calling to ask me to go places...basically have disappeared out of my life... because I hardly ever feel up to going any where.

    I don't have to worry about a social life.
    My new social life consists of dr appts and picking up a few grocery items since I'm out of the house anyway.

    Expenses for shoes have gone waaaay down.
    Who needs shoes when they wear slippers most of the time?

    Phone bill is less than it used to be.
    Conversing is difficult when memory of what was just said is gone.

    It seems a lot of us have animals to keep us company...I suppose if the animals were asked how they felt about the disease they would say it was good because their humans were home almost all the time. But the question was intended for humans...
    Lea.
  18. zion1971

    zion1971 New Member

    i commented on this thread on july 16th. i was obviously in pain or fatigued because i couldn't think of one thing that was good. but now...

    i am thankful for God and my daughter. she is adorable. i love her so much. i get so scared sometimes that i won't be able to do things for her. but God keeps on blessing me with His strength to endure. and my husband. because he has been faithful to me. it has been tough and our marriage has suffered. but we continue to believe!

    i have been ill for 8 years. i just want those new to the illness to know that if you take one day at a time, you will make it. you will make it. allow yourself to create a new life. life comes full circle in due time and season. i honestly believe that we will understand it all one day. maybe not why we became ill, but how the illness made our lives better.

    oh what a difference a day can make!
  19. Sheila01

    Sheila01 New Member

    Like you said lolalee, my relationship with the Lord has improved. When I was 4 months in bed in the beginning, i sought Him out, and really got blessed for it. I am much better than that now, too, as I dont spend much time in bed unless i overdid it.(do lay back on the recliner tho) I am also able to get past my past. Shared old hurts, etc. It has helped me to grow, and for me, it has helped me to grow in the Lord. I cant imagine life without Him. To me it would seem incredibly bleak.
    [This Message was Edited on 10/16/2006]
  20. nerdieduckie

    nerdieduckie New Member

    This is really neat to see a thread like this!

    I have to admit, if I had seen this a few weeks ago I would've stared in disbelief, but after this past weekend, I must say that there are positives.

    I hated having to become a homebound student. I loved school, it was my life, getting all those top notch grades and feeling horrible if I didn't...(see where this is going? haha) Now it takes me almost a whole day to complete one assignment, but I am able to be at home and comfortable, without feeling panicky and nervous. Also, I wondered why I couldn't get an adjusted schedule, why I HAD to be at home all the time, and I found out today there was a bomb threat at my school. Now I don't mind being a home student as much.

    Also, because of my FM, not only do I know my real friends now, but I have also made a new best friend/boyfriend. He's a real sweetheart. If I hadn't been stuck at home during the day at my computer, that never would've happened. Laughter really is good medicine, and he's helped provide it. I was able to run out on a saturday night with friends and stay out past midnight. I haven't done that in ....ever. Haha.

    I'm thoroughly convinced everything happens for a reason. There are still some things I'd like to know the answer to, but I know that God will let me know in time.

    I've learned to not stress out as much over things. In the back of my mind I feel like I'm sabotaging the future I want by not working my bum off, but I'm finally learning it's better to be in good health than have perfect grades/scores.