Letter to Santa from the Leader of the Pack

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, Dec 13, 2009.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Dear Santa,

    I've been a good doggy mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my
    dogs on demand, visited the Vet's office more than my own doctor, spend
    more on their shampoos and conditioners than I do for myself, and most of
    the time they are groomed better than I am.

    I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since
    I had to write this letter with my a black marker pen on the back of a dog
    food receipt in the laundry room between cycles of dog bedding, and who
    knows when I'll find anymore free time in the near future with puppies

    Here are my Christmas wishes:

    I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except
    purple,which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the
    breeze; but are strong enough to put my struggling dogs into the tub for a

    If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like nose-print resistant
    windows, floors that clean themselves, and a refrigerator with a secret
    compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to eat my own snacks
    without having to share with a pack of barking maniacs.

    On the practical side, I could use a battery operated dog that moves to
    perfection on my command to boost my confidence in being the
    "leader of the pack" like The Dog Whisperer (Cesar) says, along with at
    least two dogs who don't bump each other continually to start a fight.

    I could also use a recording of Cesar chanting "Don't pee in
    the living room" and "Get off of her, she is not in heat" because my
    voice seems to be just out of my dog's hearing range and can only be
    heard by the next door neighbors who are at least an acre away.

    If it's too late to find any of these things, I'd settle for just a simple
    robotic vaccuum to get all the dog hair off the floor AND climb onto
    the furniture as well to de-fuzz the upholstery (what's left of it).

    If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten
    the holiday season:

    Would it be too much trouble to declare a doggy lock-down session?
    It will clear my conscience immensely when I look at those
    miserable little faces when leaving to visit relatives.

    It would also be helpful if you could coerce my husband and
    children to help around the house without demanding payment
    as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family because
    after all, this is for OUR dogs!

    Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing which alerted
    some of my dogs, who now have spotted my feet under the
    laundry room door. They think I am eating dinner in here again
    and they are missing out on leftovers.

    Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the
    door and look down so that you don't step into an "accident".

    I would have left cookies and milk, but between the dogs and
    the cat, there is no chance that anything other than drool will
    be left on the plate.

    I did make you a Hot Toddy to warm you from the cold, but,
    after a day like this, I already drank it myself.

    Yours Always,
    The Dogs' Mom

  2. Beadlady

    Beadlady Member

    This is very cute.

    Thanks for sharing this with us.