Life can be so scary and it is so fragile

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Jul 2, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    Today my best friend witnessed the birth of her 3rd grandchild . Although she was there when the fist was born she was born by C-section and this grandchild was not to have arrived that way but when his mom reached 5 centimetiers the babys heart dropped to a dangerously low level. So low that when the desision was made to do the C-Section my friend was tossed a set of scrubs and in the 3 minutes that it took for her to get them on , her daughter was on her way to surgery and she was running down the hall to catch them.

    She made it in time and the little boy was born at 4:43 pm this afternoon weighing in at 7lbs, 9 oz. 20 & 1/2 inches long.

    AS I got to the hospital she had just carried him in to the nursery and as I watched them bathe this new life I was so touched and so humbled that I could be there for this. The mother is not married and that is ok as some one I care for I would reather she not marry some one just because she was pregnant.

    I watched this new life and was so amazed at how fragile we are. Yet later in the day my friends daughter asked me if I wanted to hold him. She knows every thing that I hvae gone through and all the strong narcoitcs that I take yet she trusted me to hold this new babe and didn't want her mom to carry him to me. I went to get him after I had been sitting for 1 hour and I can't stand up straight, but I walked to the bed and took the baby and went back to the chair and just loved him . He would look at me with such wonder in his eye's and yes I know babies can't see much right after birth.

    But it was the trust that his mother had given me in letting me walk with this new baby was so special. MY own daughter would not let me carry my grandson when I walked and he was brandnew.Some one had to bring him to me. But April let me hold him and didn't hesitate at all.

    There is a point to this post. I am learning that in our lives we all just as fragile as this new baby. We have left one life where we could do what we wanted to do and have now come in to another life where we don't get to do all that we want to do. We can't walk like we did, or stand, of sleep. We have lost most of the things that this baby has yet to grow up and learn how to do.

    While loosing these skills hurts deeply for me some days and the having to live in pain all the time hurts more than I have words to say. AS i was dolding him today he had the hickups so hard that his little body would just about bounce out of my arms, his little head was hitting my shoudler.

    I was so reminded that I too have no control over the things that have happened in my life yet unlike this baby he just arrived into this world and I have been here for 50 years. But we both don't have control over our bodies. For him this is a great and wonderful day , he will growup and learn to walk , talk and do so much more in his life. While I will lose more things as some of the condititons I have are degenerative .

    AS time passed and the baby Jareth will learn to walk, I may lose that ablilty as I have dengenerative disc disease spinal steosis, bad knee's , that need to be replaced.
    I also have MPS, Fibro, Facet Syndrome and much more.

    But as the baby grows up I to have to grow in different ways , to learn how to adjust to the life that will come adn to take it as it comes. I don't need to stress over what is going to happen, yes I most likey will stress over it . But I don't need to as I can't change it with my worries. I will have to adapt to the changes in my life. AS much as I dislike having to make changes in how I do things and what I can do , I don't have a choice , so I must go on and learn to live with the disabilities that I have.

    I will love this baby as I have loved his mommy. His mommy's mother has been my dear friend since we were 14 years old. Together we have married , had babies and grandbabies as well as fibro, knees problems and much more. Our kids are so close to the same age that it seems funny, MY oldest is 3 years younger than her oldest, my middle daughter is 6 moths older than her second son and her daughter is 3 months older than my youngest daughter and then she had one more daughter than I did.
    I have been a big part of her kids lives and this girl calls me her Mom and today she told me that if I wanted he could be my grandson too. I was so touched by this offer and he will be a special baby in my life.

    AS he has come in to the world 7 months before my second grandbaby is to be born. I hope that they will learn to be friends and learn how to accept everyone dispite the problems that happen in our lives.

    Yes I am so blessed, I have a healthy grandbaby who is 15 months old and a brother or sister on the way and I have this new baby that will be in my life too.

    I have been shown some thing to day that while my life may be filled with aches and pain and I will have days where I can't get out of my bed. My life is not all bad, and some of it is so special that I don't have words to discribe it.

    I have watched my grandson grow up and today I watched and held a baby just a few hours old. No I am not happy with how my life has turned out because it is not what I planned for it to be. But I need to accept it as I can't change it. Although I really want to, I can't. I am me , a person who has many painful problems, I have to live with it and deal with it and most of all even when I am in pain know that it is not my fault.

    I am so happy for my friend Marie, and I thank her for being there for me for over 34 years now.
    EVen though I hurt like heck to day because I stood too much I am still happy.

    Jareth Lee was born at 4:43 and he weighed 7lbs, 9oz. and is 20& 1/2 inches long. HE has dark hair and dark eyes from what I could see. And he is the sweetest baby .

    Thanks for letting me ramble on.
    Rosemarie
  2. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    glad you got to feel like part of this baby as if jareth lee was your own grandchild....

    lot's hugs

    jodie
  3. A new life, what a miracle. There is nothing like a newborn baby, so sweet and innocent with their entire life ahead. It is nice you get to experience being a sort of grandma to your friends baby.
  4. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    I cried as I read your words. They touched me deeply.

    Thank you for sharing them and your courage with us.

    Marta
  5. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    What a touching story.
    Yes...a beautiful new life arrives and starts down the road.....so fresh and new!
    I was so moved by your expression of where you are today with these illnesses. I feel so much the same way. If people could just see where we really are with our health.


    Love.....Mari
  6. BlueSky555

    BlueSky555 New Member

    Hello Rosemarie,

    I normally do not read the long posts but just could not stop reading yours. I was deeply touched by each word and at the end, was amazed at such a touching, true story.

    Thank you so much for sharing this and am very happy for you that you were able to hold such a young, beautiful newborn child.

    BlueSky555
  7. SPR30

    SPR30 New Member

    You wrote that beautifully and shared that so selflessly, God bless you!
    I understand what you said and the feelings with which you said them.
    Love, Stacey