Anyone else feel like they've been benched? Like we're forced to sit life out and just watch other people live. I can't stand it. Lately, I'm having a hard time following some people's blogs and twitter because they have full, healthy lives and I can't help but sit there and feel it should be me working that day or me out with friends having a great time for the weekend. It's painful to watch healthy people doing great, and I can't do anything. I'm not even well enough to volunteer for anything. The holidays suck when you're sick and alone. And alot of people really don't want you around anyway because your being sick sucks the joy out of their holiday. That's just the truth of it. I still have the Swine Flu in my left lung. It refuses to leave. So I'm still coughing after five weeks now and still spitting up tons of goo. Get a few hours of quasi relief and it starts again. I have no idea when it will go away. But it destroyed my Thanksgiving plans. I had to cancel and stay home because I was puking up the goo again. I spent ten days or more puking day and night from that. Finally went on the steroid inhaler and it stopped most of the puking. But it didn't clear this up. And then it stopped working at all, so I'm off that. I think I dropped one or two dress sizes from it. The ultimate diet, Swine Flu puke. So needless to say, the neverending Swine Flu and the holidays are beginning to seriously get me down. And it seems I'm the only lucky one in my entire apartment building to get Swine Flu. None of the them got it. They either had the shot or were too old to get this flu or were carriers. I think I caught it sitting next to someone in the lobby who had been in the hospital for surgery. So, on top of this, it's annual apartment inspection time in my building and I've been trying to clean, but it's like nearly impossible when you have CFIDS with Swine Flu on top. I think I'll pass it, but I really don't want them saying anything to me about anything. I just want to scream, you try and clean with being physically ill and see how well you do with no help. These inspections are a huge violation of civil rights. You should see the letter we got. They don't even give you a set day or time. They just say they will be in your apartment from this Tuesday thru Friday whether you are home or not. They will just use their key and come on in. And if you dare to refuse anything like this, they will just not renew your lease and throw you out. And before the inspection, we got a letter that maintainance would come on in and check things out. No day or time. So, on Wed, after I had just filled up a trash bag, trying to clean, I had to go to sleep awhile, and sure enough, the maint guy came on in while I was in bed. I don't mind this particular guy, but still, I was like, OMG, what if I was in the shower. They just come on in. And it wasn't all that clean in here when he did and he was telling me that they were coming next week, like I should be up and cleaning. Yeah, right. That's my life. That's the main bad thing about living in this place, the annual inspections. They mostly do it because they want to stay on top of anyone who is causing a bug problem by living really dirty, but I feel they take advantage and want to dictate how you live with no regard that some of us are just too physically ill to clean much. Life on the bench sux. When do we get to play the game?