Light at the end of the tunnel?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Valentina, Dec 25, 2005.

  1. Valentina

    Valentina New Member

    What do you do to remind yourself that there is light at the end of the tunnel?

    I'm so depressed and in pain right now that I just can't seem to find joy in anything.

    What lifts your spirits and puts a smile on your face?
  2. Fudge43

    Fudge43 New Member

    ... people are so different when it comes to a source of strength or pleasure .. my garden is one .. Being Canadian it is a short but intense season and it is very physical .. during the winter I actually stick to a healthy regime to build and maintain strentgh so I can ENJOY my garden .. it is a source of such wonder and pleasure I am truly grateful .. I share it with my friends in the form of drying herbs for them and what ever help I can give them with their "attempts" at gardening ..
    My husband is a avid fisherman , so we greet the morning in different directions ! haha
    Fudge : )
  3. musikmaker

    musikmaker New Member

    One of the most depressing aspects of this disease for me is coping with the fact that it will never go away. I understand we can work to get it managable but I am finding you still have good days and bad no matter what you try.

    Do you have a hobby that you had passion for before you got ill? I have two, gardening and writing music. I putter at both on my better days though everything is limitied these days. The key seems to be to get your mind to think of other things. Thats why it has to be something you have passion for.

    It seems this disease is something we have to look at day to day and not look down the long tunnel. Looking down the tunnel, for me, only causes more despair.
  4. Valentina

    Valentina New Member

    I had a lot of things I was interested in (and took part in) before I got sick 5 years ago (I'm 32 now).

    Most of those things are no longer possible for me to do. I used to be an avid reader and now it's very rare that I derive pleasure from that - I'm often in so much pain that I can't even hold up a book to read it. Also, with my Fibro Fog, I almost always forget what I've read.

    I used to adore going to the movies, but now it's too physically taxing to get to the movie theatre and being around so many people exacerbates my stress level and that only leads to more pain. It may sound odd, but just having to deal with those people who kick my seat or talk during the film really stresses me out and ruins the experience for me.

    I'm an artist, but I've lost all my creative energy and I can't do much physically, so most of what I want to do isn't possible.

    Well, the list goes on and on...sorry to be such a downer - I just feel so discouraged and miserable right now. I've started taking Wellbutrin and I'm hoping that will help with my depression because I feel so incredibly low and hopeless right now.

    It's also really hard for me because I'm an American living in Europe...so I have to deal with homesickness, etc. on top of everything else.

    Anyway, I appreciate the support and hearing about what makes others feel better gives me some hope. :)
  5. Fudge43

    Fudge43 New Member

    Valentina .. we lived in Southern Limburg(worked in Brunssum and lived in Schinveld), the Netherlands from '95 to '99 .. my husband was military and I worked in library science at the NATO INTERNATIONAL Library ..
    I was not well then and most likely had the beginning stages of the thyroid and fibro problems .. and yes ... I was homesick .. Our schedual was VERY demanding .. we had to socialize (yes .. HAD TO )to represent the Canadian members working there .. so many times I was so tired and unwell I just wanted to lay down on the floor and cry .. So I understand about being away from "home" .. and I know how you must feel.
    Fudge : )
    I hope the meds work better for you !
  6. anakinkaid

    anakinkaid New Member

    I know just how you feel. The endlessness of it all weights the spirit down so. There are days when I cannot believe I can go on - but I do: because life is to be lived. I've come though so much; I know I can pass through this too if I but have 'creative courage'.

    You mentioned that you liked movies, but don't feel well enough to go out. How about netflixs? (No, I don't work for them or anything). You could review, select and order films right from your home computer. (The service isn't expensive for what you get). They will be delivered right to your door. You could study a favorite actor's or director's films. Explore a topic like adventure or comedy films. Pop some popcorn. Snuggle up in bed. Make it BETTER than the movie theater. Invite some understanding friends over.

    Anyway, you get the idea. Hang in there. There are folks out here who understand.

    Ever - Ana
  7. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    I've had fms since I was 12 years old and I will be 55 in January. Just a couple of weeks ago I had a 10 day flare and I told my husband that I could not live like this anymore. I had a good cry, a hot bath, and an extra pain pill and I went to bed. (Sometimes I leave off the hot bath because I don't feel like getting wet and don't have the strength to dry off and dress.)

    I didn't sleep very long because of the pain, so I prayed that if I could just get through Christmas without being in so much pain, I would not ask to be relieved of pain again.

    The Sunday before Christmas I woke up with most of the pain gone. I stayed that way until yesterday when I had a short few hours of pain.

    Today I'm OK so far and even though I know I'll have pain again, my prayer was answered and for that I am thankful.

    I try to take it day by day - sometimes hour by hour and I keep hoping that someone will find a cure instead of just trying new drugs to treat the symptoms.

    I take so many pills and hate every one of them. I also take Xyrem at night and though it's helped, everytime I drink from the medicine cup I hate that I have to take medication to sleep.

    All we can do is hang in there, hope, and pray that something positive will happen for us in 2006.

    abbylee
  8. Valentina

    Valentina New Member

    I really appreciate it. :)

    I'm an American living in Sweden (my husband is Swedish) and even though I've lived here for a couple of years, there are days when I just want to scream and cry at the top of my lungs because living in a foreign country adds so much extra stress to my life!

    Also, the winter here lasts for around 8 months of the year - right now it gets dark at 2:30 or 3 in the afternoon and it's snowing. It may sound cozy, but believe me, it gets old really fast.

    The doctors here don't know much about FMS/CFS and it's so frustrating to try to educate them. Also, just getting basic help takes forever here. I'm on a ONE YEAR waiting list for a pain clinic...unbelievable!

    Sorry for venting....
  9. anakinkaid

    anakinkaid New Member

    Dear Valentina,

    Don't apologize for "venting". It helps to let the steam off with people who understand. I grew up overseas (state department) so I understand. Wonderful experiences but hard, too. My own daughter lives in Japan, married to a Japanese national-prince of a guy, but so far away. International life is great BUT it is also uniquely stressful.

    Breath - take it slow. I spent years as an educator in Alaska so I know the 'darkness' thing. Paint something sunshine yellow. Push back with color or sound-I LOVED the Beatles "Here Comes the Sun" song (still do). Drink something tropical-pineapple juice, orange juice and think sunshine EVERY day. Soon you will see the shift and the glorious endless Summer days. Well, enough from me-my thoughts are with you.
    Ana