Lightbulb moment

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Tigger57, Dec 23, 2005.

  1. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    Since I've gone back to work, I've had to drive most of the way on the highway. It's usually not that bad in the morning, but at night... people are mainiacs. I don't understand the reason for not letting someone in when you are only going to get about 4 inches further.

    Anyway, the lightbulb moment happended when a "road raged" driver almost caused me to hit him. I was trying to get onto the highway and I inched out and the guy behind me got so angry he leaned on the horn, went into the breakdown lane at a high speed and cut in in front of me. It was pretty clear at that moment that he either wanted me to hit him or to go into "road rage" mentality.

    At first I started to think "road rage", but somehow (and I don't have a clue how or why) I got calm and started thinking... he doesn't know what kind of day I had (that was the day I cried all the way home), he doesn't know if I'm sick, or if I was trying to get home for an emergency, or whatever which could be so devastating. Then I also thought that I don't know that about him either. Maybe he lost his job and was taking it out on me... it's almost Christmas and a hard time for most people and maybe he was feeling awful.

    Believe it or not, that moment was very important to me and changed the way I drive. I decided to just slow down and take my time. What difference was it going to make? It made a big difference is that localized stress level.

    The next morning I left a little earlier and took my time and felt much better.

    If find a lot of us try to push so hard and so fast to prove that we can do things, because we secretly worry that we can't. Most of us are type A personalities too. We want everything done now and the absolute best way.

    I'm not saying this is going to stay with me, but I'm going to try and just take my time with things right now. I'm also going to go back to journaling.

    I'm employed right now through an employment agency and she came into the office yesterday. I told her I wasn't liking the job and stuff, she told me that she really believes that in the long run it will be the best. I have to give it a chance and I haven't done that. The other thing is she suggested I write things down... like questions or issues at work.. since I have a hard time verbalizing them... I get too emotional. That was the best advice I've gotten in a long time.

    So, to end this long post, I'm just going to start taking my time and try to calm down. There are things that I DON'T have control over.

    Many hugs,

  2. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    I came on here to see this first thing....YOU HAVE MADE MY DAY!!

    It does my heart good to see how good this has made you to feel...and it has certainly helped me!! This is a spirit of Christmas!

    You are so right and in the long run you will be more relaxed and God knows you need THAT!!


  3. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    Thank you. I've got to try to keep my stress levels low. That is when I flare up. Being back at work is hard enough, but trying to be a perfectionist and having a certain amount of ADD... it's really hard.

    I feel like my engine is running all the time, but I'm not getting anywhere. I guess that mean I need to switch gears.LOL It really will be imperative to my health, I can see that now.

  4. angeljoe

    angeljoe New Member

    Thanks so much for your post! After reading your post I have decided to make today a NEGITIVE free day. Fibro has changed my positive thinking into a very negitive person. I hate this about my self. I have been so pessimistic, ever since this disease took over my life. I have so much to do today. I need to finish up my Christmas shopping, get stocking stuffers, and buy everything I need for Christmas dinner. So, I woke up this morning dreading this whole day. Your lightbulb moment has changed my day competely. I am going to take a lesson from you Tigger. Today is going to be a special day for my children. I have decided to try and make it fun for them and myself. Maybe even a ride on the carousel for me. I'm going to tell my children that we are not going to say one negitive word all day. If we break the rule, we must sing Rudolf the red nose reindeer very loudly... Where ever we may be.. Thanks again Tigger for changing my gloomy thinking.
  5. Aberlaine

    Aberlaine Member

    Years ago when I was still working, I created a staff newspaper on a monthly basis. One month I wrote an article about slowing down. I've been trying to live up to that article ever since. If people just left a bit more time to get to wherever they're going, they could relax while driving and get to their destination feeling so much better.

    But I understand that, in this very busy, stressful time, sometimes that's not possible: family members make others late, "things" happen.

    I'm now retired and make sure that I leave at least 15 minutes early to get to wherever I'm going. If someone on the road is in a hurry, I let them go. Much easier on the nerves and muscles!

    Thanks for reminding us of this, Tigger!

    And Merry Christmas everyone!

  6. AnneTheresa

    AnneTheresa Member

    I had a similar light-bulb moment this week. I was at the grocery store checkout and after the cashier gave me my change and receipt, I found myself rushing to get my money in my purse and get myself moved out of the way so the next person in line could be served.

    I realized I push myself like this frequently and in many different scenarios. Of course, my muscles tense something terrible every time I try to 'hurry' through something (in order to 'not be a bother' or slow down other people) and of course, I end up with increased pain each and every time.

    It occurred to me that - by taking the extra thirty seconds to do things at a more comfortable pace - I'm not hurting anyone else. So what if the person in line behind me is showing some impatience - the discomfort of his or her having to wait an extra thirty seconds doesn't even compare to the discomfort and pain of my having to rush and hurry when I feel so sick.

    Yes, I am that old lady who moves so slow at the checkout. The people behind me may roll their eyes at each other. So what???

    Merry Christmas, Tigger!

    God bless,
    Anne Theresa
  7. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    We all need to think about others more. Some times it's very hard and I just don't want to, but you are so right.

    I always leave early but tell people it's because I refuse to get a speeding ticket on the way TO work. On the way home maybe, but not on the to work.

  8. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    Take those 45 seconds and do NOT worry about the person behind you. I've done the same thing many times and you know what? I've found if I manage to have pleasant conversation with that person, they don't even notice.

    One of my goals right now is to be a better person... and I don't mean just with others, but to be a better person to myself as well.

    I should be as kind to myself as I am to others. It sounds so simple, but it is so very hard to do.
  9. cindymindy

    cindymindy New Member

    You really made me stop and think with the check out comment. I too always stuff the change in my purse and get out of the way as fast as I can. It always amazes me that others don't do that. I guess it does have alot to do with our type A personalities. Waiting a few extra seconds shouldn't bring so much stress, no wonder we're always in so much pain.
    Tigger, As for other drivers I've always been the type to not let them in my lane when their lane is ending. My husband is one of those people and it drives me crazy. I think to myself that they know their lane is going to end and they are trying to get ahead of everyone else. Hopefully thanks to you I will be able to think differently now and let them in. Maybe they are from out of town and not familar with the roads, or maybe they have a reason for trying to get home so fast.
    You both sounded so upbeat on this that I'm going to give it a try. And hopefully I'll think of other ways to slow down. No wonder our muscles are always tensed up.
  10. tanyasue

    tanyasue New Member

    Many thoughts here.

    First, I understand the importance of not pushing for everything to go the way you need it to, and the importance of slowing down. I try to fit too much in too little time. The reality is I need to let the whole things go and only do a few of the things.

    About work. The temp agency wants to keep you. You make them money. I was laid off in March because I was sick (they lied and all of that crap). Anyway, I thought I would never get a job that would work for me. I got a new job and it has worked out so well. I get paid more than the other job. They understand when I take time off to go to the doctor. They are concerned when I get sick. They got nervous when I had the bruises and wanted to make sure that I was ok.

    I am telling you this because I don't want you to lose hope. This can work out and you can find a job that will work out. Please don't lose hope and think you have to settle for a job where you are miserable and people are idiots.

    Tanya Sue
  11. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I understand that about the employment agency, but truth is,I am making more than the last horrible job I was at and have a chance for more benefits.

    All I want at this pint is to be able to go home and leave it all behind me until I walk in the following morning. I have never been able to do that. I always end up with it ruling my emotions, which make me feel worse for a longer period of time.
  12. tanyasue

    tanyasue New Member

    I know what you mean about wanting to leave it at work. I used to want that until I landed this job. It is stressful, but the good kind that is enjoyable, if that does not sound too sadistic.

    I pray that you will find the perfect job or that this one will turn into the perfect job for your needs right now.

    Tanya Sue
  13. Musica

    Musica New Member

    what a GREAT way of thinking! I've heard before that you should consider that others might be responding to an emergency when they act like jerks, but it's especially great to remember for those of us with conditions that react to stress. Keep it up!!!

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