listening skills/ remembering

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by MsBrandywine, Jul 8, 2008.

  1. MsBrandywine

    MsBrandywine Member

    Do any of you have problems with listening to others when they're talking and then later not remembering everything they say? sheeesh.. The guy I see is always telling me that I don't listen.. then says because what he says isnt that important to me..
    Sometimes I admit that I don't listen when hes raising his voice to me or carrying on about something that I get tired of hearing over and over..
    Is it me.. or what.. lol
    I try to pay attention when Im chatting with ppl but then there are times its like my mind goes in different directions.. and then Im afraid if I don't say what it is Im thinking.. Im going to forget?
    Is it me or do any of you experience this too?
    Thanks...
    Sometimes I wonder if I dont have the adult deficit disorder or if its the fibro that does it..
    I'm going to be 55 in a few weeks and gosh.. that seems rather young to be doing this.. repeating myself is another thing too.. I try not to do that.. Usually better with that then the listening..
  2. Debra49659

    Debra49659 New Member

    I seem to be able to focus on only one thing at a time and if someone is talking to me, I often times lose what they were saying. I have slso been known to walk away during a conversation as well. My mind wanders and I'm wandering with it apparently.

    Deb
  3. MsBrandywine

    MsBrandywine Member

    Im sorry you experience it but at least I know Im not alone.. kinda makes me feel like Im the only one on the planet to have such things happen.. no one really seems to understand except my one friend .. who used to be my sister inlaw.. She has MS and even some things she doesnt understand. I've had an MRI back about 6 yrs ago when I was starting to stagger around .. I went to a Neurologist and he said it was the Fibro..

    I dont remember walking away when Im talking to someone but i have had other ppl do that to me .. lol ...I thought maybe I bored them or something ..
  4. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    I think it might be a combo of Fibro/age and maybe interest? Who knows. All I know is that I have the same problem. My sisters do as well and they don't have Fibro, but they're both over 50. We joke about it now. Our memories all stink.
    I have to consciously try to hone in on something important in a conversation if I know it's something I'll need to remember. Even then, there is no guarantee. I have learned to write things down. I have really always had an incredible, what some would call a photographic memory. It's sad to see it go.

    With that said, there are some people whose conversations don't interest me that much to remember all of the detail. LOL
  5. MsBrandywine

    MsBrandywine Member

    I know what you mean.. and when he tells me this.. its like oh well.. Sometimes he laughs and says its ok. you'll be ok when ya see the dr.. ( meaning a shrink) then there are times he gets angry and says Im dumb.. then that really hurts and makes me upset and feel resentment that he says such things..
  6. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    I am a major "Attention Deficit Disorder" person and I am even worse than not listening - I interrupt because I know I will forget what I wanted to ask or say if I don't say it then.

    It is sooooo rude to interrupt so I have tried to make notes and keep myself quiet and finish listening - it is agony.

    I have a terrible problem with memory. Also low frustration tolerance. I just don't want to be bothered - terrible -
  7. MsBrandywine

    MsBrandywine Member

    I sometimes wonder if I dont have that.. He gets after me for that too. but Im afraid if I dont say it when Im thinking it. .I wont remember it . lol.. until later..
    Thing is.. he tells me the same thing over n over himself.. LOL..
    I used to be real quiet but then later on. its like he never gives me a chance to talk.. then when I try to.. hes not paying attention to me.. I know hes not.. I can tell..
    If hes been drinking.. and he will stand in the middle of the kitchen leaning on his counter and saying.. You're not listening to me.. I can tell! LOL.. well usually I am but sometimes its like omg here we go again.. and my mind starts wandering..
    I, quite sure that he has a personality disorder.. and I think he may possibly be bipolar.. so hes wanting the attention maybe, ,Im not sure.. I just know that its frustrating..
    because I know that I am listening.. then when I do talk. its like he isnt paying one bit of attention to what Ive said.. Sheesh.. lol sometimes wonder if it isnt him too.. and not just me..
  8. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    It may not be true ADD and the symptoms probably come and go like many of them do.

    Your boyfriend may be right, but you do the best you can, you know? I've been told I don't pay good attention all my life but I think I do have ADD or else I've had these dds all my life.

    It sounds like your boyfriend has similar problems though. Some people do and they're healthy otherwise.

  9. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    I went to the library and got a few books on ADD - it is a textbook example when you don't listen, interrupt because you might forget by the time the other person finishes, etc.

    Also, getting easily distracted goes along with it.

    At the same time, ADD people are usually gifted in many ways. We just need to learn how to handle these problems.
  10. mindyandy420

    mindyandy420 New Member

    My husband always says...You dont listen to me do you? Its not that I dont listen....its I usually dont remember...right away.