Living with fibro and other unseen illness's

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Aug 20, 2012.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I live each day in pain from several different chronic pain problems. I have fibro whcih I was dx'ed with several years ago, I also have chronic meyo-facial pain syndrome, ddd, spinal stenosis, bulging disc's, end-stage oesteo-arthritis in both knee's. Here I am at 56 and most days I feel like I am in my 90's and so fatiqued that just the thought of doing some thing exhusts me.

    Fibro is not some thing that you can see, I don't look sick, other than my knee's and legs are bowed, people can see that my knee's have problems but the disease that you can't see are the one's that cause me so much pain and it is hard for family , friends and some times even doctors to accept that I live in pain every day of my life. I wake up in pain, I go to sleep in pain, some days are better than othere's and I have days where I do things I wanwt to do like play with my grandkids and the next day or so I really pay for it with horriable pain thru out my whole body and the fatique is so much worse.

    I have tried to explain what fibro is and how it makes me feel. But people think that you can't be sick or in pain unless you look like you hurt., IF your leg is broke and your have a cast on you have a reason for pain. But with out ssome out ward sign no one belives your in pain.
    I have lived in pain for years , as a child i had leg aches and horrialbe female problems as I got older.
    AFter I was married for eseveral years I was finally told that this constant muscle pain I have been living with was a real illness. This didn't help me much when I was working but I knew it would be hard for people who don't live with it to know and accept what it feels like to be in pain in every muscle, bone, tendon, ligement, nerves, to sit in church and hear the sound of the microphone as it hums and buzz;s and after a while it starts to hurt your ears. The sound of crying babies hurts my body , It is like I feel vibratations in the air and they hit my skin and cause me so much pain.

    I would love to see a movie but the sound is so LOUD that it makes me sick, i can feel the vibratations in the air and they hit my skin and nerves and caues deep pain thru out my whole body. HOw I would love to be normal and not hurt when I hear sounds and feel the sound. I want to be able to play with my grandchildren and run and just have a great time with them. I don't want to be the g randma that just sits out and watches as they fly kites or swim.
    I want to have a better marriage as fibro comes between my husband and I. HE does not understand how sounds can cause me intense pain and why do I need to take pain meds when he can't see any thing wrong with me.

    I am so tired of living a life in pain, of aching deep insdie my body when it is cold out side and aching when it is hot also. I am tired of taking pain meds that realy don't work as wel as they should but I can't deal with teh pain with out taking them. How I want to be me again. I want to find me again the girl who loved to do things with kids and loved going to movies and skating, and just being alive. Where did she go? She is still there inside of me, she just knows that if she were to go roller skating she would be in bed in serious pain for days afterward. Some one please find a cure. I can't take LYrica as I have chemical sensitives and I react to different medications some that should help make me have strange side effects, others make me gain weight. NOne work as they claim they should. How I would like to be free to not take any medicaions. I hope that day will come some day soon..
    Thanks for listening to me vent

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