LOL a bit further OT-- PROFOUND WISDOM- makes total sense to me

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by victoria, Jun 15, 2006.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Profound Wisdom for the Ages:

    If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

    A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

    The universe is a figment of its own imagination.

    There's no future in time travel.

    A day without sunshine is like night.

    Don't let yourself get scared half to death twice.

    If you can't convince them, confuse them.

    Death is hereditary.

    Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

    Oh Lord, give me patience...and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

    Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.



    AND some oldie but still funny one-liners... (some of these must be from Stephen Wright!)

    Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

    Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

    I poured Spot remover on my dog. . . Now he's gone.

    I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

    Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.

    I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

    Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

    How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

    OK, so what's the speed of dark?

    Corduroy pillows: They're always making headlines!

    I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

    Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

    I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure..

    I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

    Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

    All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

    Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

    Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.

    Headline:
    Energizer Bunny Arrested
    Charged with Battery


    :)
    Victoria


    [This Message was Edited on 06/15/2006]
  2. mrsjethro

    mrsjethro New Member

    Thanks Victoria. I needed that.
  3. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    Victoria:

    A real eye opener. So, true--isn't it?

    Thanks for posting it.

    nyrofan
  4. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    It might be a bit pathetic, but that's the most I've laughed in quite awhile!!!!!!!!!!

    That was funny,

    Nancy B.

  5. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    Man, that Army one nearly did me in!

    Hugzz
    Greenbean
  6. jyl

    jyl Member

    A good laugh is worth a lot!

    jyl