Lonely

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Redwillow, Sep 23, 2006.

  1. Redwillow

    Redwillow New Member

    How many of you, especially the ones who had FM/ME for a long time are extremely lonely?

    Sometimes except to go to the grocery store for a few minutes the only people I speak to in a week are my husband and my son.

    Neither one of them is chatty and some days I would love to have someone to talk to.

    I could go out for a short drive or a visit but the effort is huge. And even when I am out I feel like everyone has a purpose but me?

    Sorry feeling a little blue today. This I know will pass, but the rain and the isolation is getting me.

    hugs Marion (Redwillow)
  2. Aeronsmom

    Aeronsmom New Member

    I soooo know what you mean, I don't get out much as i find driving is a big issue for me, the only time I get out too is grocery and I have to wait for my husband to go with me.

    like you the only people for me to talk to is my dh and kids when they come home from school, my dh works from 6am-6pm and so by the time he gets home he just wants to eat take a bath and go to bed.

    So like you I am soooo starving for attention and for someone to talk to. It's raining here so it is making my bones hurt like heck.

    Love to all, Ann
  3. atiledsner

    atiledsner New Member

    I find a great deal of comfort in learning new things, crafts and such.I love books and do it yourself shows on TV.

    I know what you mean about going to buy groceries is a great effort.So many things take so much out of me. I just have determined in my heart i won't give up.

    I bought a memory foam mattress 4" to go on my bed.It has made such a difference in my pain level. As you know when we don't have as much pain we tend to extend ourselves and do more.This is the case for me.

    Purpose.Every one has a purpose.I feel like mine is to encourage people and teach others.

    It took me a long time to admit this was my purpose because I thought if I had a purpose I had to do it perfectly.Not so. Life is a learning process, I had to learn to do things at my own pace and make my own mistakes.

    I hope this helps.Music can change my attitude too.

    Dianne
  4. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    Hello friend.....
    Anytime you need some company, just shout out for Hermit! I go for days on end never seeing anyone but dh and kids. I usually don't even feel like I have the energy to talk to anyone on the phone. I have only a couple of girlfriends and I rarely see them....I always feel like sh!t, so I just stay home.

    When I do go out, I see people everywhere and think to myself....these people have lives, they're dressed nice and have a purpose. I feel like a waste of space. Oh, what do we do to feel better? It's not an easy life and only we know how it feels.....love to you from Hermit.
  5. Redwillow

    Redwillow New Member

    Thanks everyone! I feel like crying but it is good tears!

    I love to garden, read (right now am reading some psychology books about women, dieting and body image), needlework (though my eyes don't like it anymore), my dogs, walking in the woods, birds.....

    I think what I miss is being able to discuss the things I enjoy. Anything from a book, tv show or the cost of fresh vegetables! When I was working you shared other peoples lives. I don't miss the work, but I miss the people and the conversation.

    I find that the weather really affects me. When it is sunny outside I feel so much better. On a rainy day like today not only is my pain levels higher I often feel blue. Anyone else?

    hugs back
    Marion
    [This Message was Edited on 09/23/2006]
  6. Aeronsmom

    Aeronsmom New Member

    the rain and clouds as well as snow is the worst for me..really makes me feel drpressed and sooo very sad to the point were I am afraid I will not come out of that feeling. we'll be fine..we all got each other and who knows what we are feeling and going thru...and in a way that is what makes everyone here on this board SPECIAL.

    Love to all, Ann
    [This Message was Edited on 09/23/2006]
  7. monicaz49

    monicaz49 New Member

    im lonely too. but here's my situation. ive let alot of my friends go...and some have let me go....because i dont have the energy or clear mind to even conversate on the phone let alone go out with them (exhausted all the time).
    Its easier not to have the pressure of them asking me to do stuff even though i tell them im sick and cant! they dont get it.
    But there are occasional times where i come out of that state and feel better (but only briefly) and its then that i realize i have no one around me anymore but a little bit of family. Thats when i get lonely. But i dont want to call them and hang out or visit cuz then they will expect it all the time.
    Ok...im just ranting on here...but i wish i had a group of local CFS/Candida friends around. It would be nice company.
  8. nerdieduckie

    nerdieduckie New Member

    It's amazing how many friends I've lost within the past year due to this DD, but then I guess they really weren't friends after all. It still doesn't help when I feel lonely tho, and my best friend is sick so she can't come over or anything, plus the pouring down of rain everywhere...

    I was supposed to go to an aquarium today (i've never been!) but because of the flash floods and the fact I didn't sleep because of the storms, I didn't go.

    So, am lonely here, and also quite bored. v_v Perhaps once the rain goes away it will be a bit better.
  9. StephieBee

    StephieBee New Member

    (((Mom)))

    I, too, often feel lonely. I feel lonely having these conditions because I feel like I have no one to talk to in my life (outside of the board) about my pain and my problems.

    Sometimes I get really down. I know my bf doesnt want to listen to me complain about being in pain all of the time...Im sure no one does. So I suffer in silence.

    My Dad, though, has a serious permanent injury from which he has severe chronic pain...way worse than anyone I have ever heard of. My Dad and I are the best of buddies.

    I often travel back to my parents house to spend the weekend and hangout with my Dad. I never feel lonely with him. (Even when he's dozing off from his meds! lol!) We can talk to each other and be honest, without judgement.

    I know he gets depressed also. My younger sisters dont understand the pain...and sometimes I dont think they care. They dont bother with him as much as I do. I do believe he gets lonely like I do. But atleast we have each other.

    Im here for you anytime. Just post my name on the thread and Ill find you.

    Love,
    Stephanie
  10. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Minus the husband and the son.

    Love your profile photo! Beautiful.

    Marta
  11. Ranigar

    Ranigar Member

    to know how many with this DD have isolated themselves just like us.There are friends and even relatives I could have around and still feel lonely.I sound as if I'm whining and feeling sorry for myself if I tell them what's on my mind or even answer they're questions.I hate that so I would rather avoid contact then to come off that way.People with this just know what you mean and know that your venting not looking for sympathy.They understand our warped sense of humor at times instead of looking uncomfortable.I don't think it's possible anymore for me to have that kind of relationship anymore so I'm looking for people just like you who are experiencing the same strange path my life has taken.I'm doing more then I was and that's a positive but I doubt I'll get out very much more then I do so I'm glad to ease the loneliness by coming on here and shouting yeah me too alot.
  12. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    It's time to pull out the BIG GUNS .
    Get out some of your favorite CD's and blast them out loud while you walk threw the house .If you can shake it here shake it there and know freedom is great. LOL

    I'm here a lot by my self to and it does feel lonely .But you know what I can do what ever I like when I like and I have learn to embrace the peacefulness when no ones around and if I want to get loud and silly I do. I even talk to the TV. My husband only worries if I tell him it talks back.LOL

    I love to blast the music and dust threw my house when no one's here and the music gets me in a good mood. TRY IT
  13. Redwillow

    Redwillow New Member

    You guys rock! I can just picture myself dancing around the house in my flannel pj's singing at the top of my lungs!

    The dogs would be staring, wondering if I am loosing my mind or if it is a new game to entertain them!

    Ranigor, I agree, I can't keep dumping on my family. My poor hubby has heard it all too many times. So I come here and read about everyone else. It is amazing because here I fit in! Aches and pains and all!

    Stephie I am so glad that you and your Dad have each other. The two of you sound wonderful! You are a sweetheart!

    Prickles I can't handle the cigarette smoke either! Fortunately in my area of Ontario smoking is banned in all public buildings! Best law ever!

    hugs everyone, thanks for replying and making my day!

    Marion

  14. pumpkinpatch

    pumpkinpatch New Member

    Wanted to complement you on your outside deck, arch and arrangement, looks very nice. I love to decorate. We are moving so I get to start all over. I have 3 sons and husband Grant.

    Cindy
  15. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    I'm really extraverted, so being sick and in the house a lot is tough! When I get out to run errands, I'm just thrilled to talk to anyone and everyone. I must look like a dork, but it's just a joy to see someone besides my hubby, even though he's really sweet most of the time.

    Music is great and I like to read, but I love being around people and this illness just takes that away. Humans are meant to be around other humans, at least a lot more than we are! POO! Hope it gets better for all of us.

    Hugs, Erika