Long Flare

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by nina_and_me, Apr 23, 2007.

  1. nina_and_me

    nina_and_me New Member

    I've been in a pretty bad flare for about two months now. Although there are never times when I feel completely good, there are times when it's much easier to function than others.

    Mondays are usually my best days, but today is bad. My legs and arms are hurting, and typing (I'm a secretary) makes it worse. The idea of getting up and posting flyers seems impossible.

    It's lunch time and the staff has been in our break room (i shifts) for the past two hours. Not only is the TV on so loud that I can hear very well 30 feet away, but people are talking OVER the tv, requiring the volume of both to go up.

    I can't concentrate, I need to rest, and what is so discouraging is that it's the beginning of the week. I usually do best after a couple days of rest and right now, I'm doing badly. I want to SCREAM at people to be quiet. It's not their fault - they're used to noise like this. It's hard on me, and I don't expect them to adjust their behavior for one person.

    I feel like I need to be home resting, because I need to take more pain meds to deal with the pain, but I am afraid of missing work. I'm on intermittent fmla, but people at work don't understand why I need to be out.

    I know I'm rambling. I can't concentrate. I'm upset, there's so much noise that I want to run out of here and sleep for the rest of the day. I'm worried so much that if I'm like this on Monday, what am I going to be like tomorrow, much less Friday.

    nina
  2. kimberly236

    kimberly236 New Member

    Hi Nina. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I don't know what your situation is, but I advise you to listen to your body and rest when you need to. These illnesses don't like to be ignored. Like I read somewhere, "Ignore at your own peril."
    For me personally, I had gone to work part-time for the five months prior to my relapse. Like I wrote in my bio, I ignored the symptoms of the CFS worsening, and now 10 months later I am suffering.
    You have to look out for yourself.

    Best wishes,
    Kimberly
  3. poeticbobbi

    poeticbobbi New Member

    I haven't had a long flare in awhile,thank God. But I remember how I would start the day off feeling fine and then WAM!, I instantly felt like I had the flu with the aching all over and exhaustion. I am amazed that you can even work like that.You may not feel like it but you must be stronger than you realize.Try drinking herbal tea at work to help relax.
    Good luck!!
  4. nina_and_me

    nina_and_me New Member

    Hi Kimberly,

    You're right...many people have told me that I have to look out for myself. I know that the company doesn't care. I am torn because I'm afraid of losing my job.

    I always find that things are better when I listen to my body and stay home when I need to, but from a standpoint of being afraid I'll lose my job, I come to work, even when I shouldn't be here.

    The thing is that I walk a fine edge when it comes to work - I can work, but barely and at the expense of everything else. Meaning, I can do laundry on Sunday if I rest on Saturday. I can work on Monday if I rest all weekend - no friends, no family...I just rest, which just isolates me more.

    I'm not as productive as I could be at work and it hurts to know my work is not what it was. The reality is that the company would probably rather have someone else in my position.

    I have flares, and except for the initial flare before it was treated, none have lasted 10 months. I've been in this one for two months, which isn't that long, but the pain is worse and different than ever before. I don't know why.

    I'm sorry you've been hurting so long. I hope you feel better soon.

    nina
  5. nina_and_me

    nina_and_me New Member

    I've missed about two weeks of work since this flare started, and it's made my boss very unhappy. It worries me that I feel this bad on a Monday...I don't usually hurt like this until later in the week - even during flares.

    I felt the WAM! early this morning, took a pain pill, and it didn't help much. I need two when I'm feeling this bad, but two make me sleepy.

    You're right - I do not feel strong. I feel like I'm not living up to my responsibilities, even though I know I'm doing the best I can. There are nights when I need to go home, but it takes me a couple of hours to do it because I have to talk myself into getting up and walking to my car.

    I have some herbal tea at home, but I hate the way it tastes. There are some things that I can't stomach, & that's one of them.

    I had a horrible stomach virus right before all this started. It started on a Saturday morning, and I couldn't drink anything until Sunday night. Then, I wasn't really ready to drink - I just took my pills. By Monday, I was thirsty, freezing cold, and shaking like a leaf. I drank a lot that day but could barely eat. On Tuesday, I could eat bland foods, and I returned to work on Wednesday, very weak.

    Thanks for your support.

    nina