Looked at the poll"who here is male"a thought

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lenasvn, Mar 10, 2006.

  1. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    How about a place for guys only here on the Forums? Just a thought. How do you males feel about that? I sense a special need for the guys to talk amongst themselves.
  2. dan0248

    dan0248 New Member

    I have mixed emotions about it, The gals here have us out gunned and they sure have seen this DD for a long time, they have really helped me to get where I'm at now. I just don’t know which way to turn.
  3. JLH

    JLH New Member

    I think we need our guys right here! We need their perspective on issues, and besides .... we love them!!!!!

    WOO HOO, let's here it for the guys!!!!!!!


    Love y'all,
    Janet
  4. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    "Well, this will cheese you off."


  5. jakeg

    jakeg New Member

    I would say stay here. Why would we want to be seperated once again from the norm. We are already in a class of our own. When I was first dx with this DD, my doc thought it was very unussual for a male to have this DD. Geuss I am his first male pateint for fibro.

    It's nice to be part of a group and not be singled out for any reason at all, wether it be gender, race or religion.

    It is nice to see that there are other males on this site. There for awhile I thought I was the only one.

    lenasvn: I hope that I have not offended you it is not ment to. This is just my opion.



    Jake
  6. Sheila1366

    Sheila1366 New Member

    Didn't know for sure how many we had.But I can see if they wanted a place to hang out they should have it.

    Personally I think it is very hard for our fellas to exspress how much they hurt without us gals around to encourage them to let lose and talk.

    Men that have fm/cfs have it hard as do all of us.but they are suppose to be strong and "bring home the bacon" guys.

    I hope that here they can feel that it is ok to let lose and share how they really feel.

    Anyone that suffers fromfm/cfs are winners in my book.No matter what you do in your day,you made it another day and that is a fight.

    To all our fellas,I take my hat off to you for sharing how you feel.Very hard for men.I think that you are all great guys and I am glad to have you here.

    My husband suffers from really bad depression.He hides his feelings mostly but I try to get him to talk.

    His doctor told him how impressed he was with him for seeking help.

    Most men would not seek help for anything that they may be concerned about.You guys need to be loved and comforted like us all.

    But if you need a place to talk about sports,the hooters beauty pagent,how great a burpper you are or just whatever you guys talk about...then have you a private club.But I would be lying if I said I wouldn't peek in and see what's going on.

    {{{{{{{{BIG HUGS TO ALL OUR FELLAS}}}}}}}
    Much Love,
    Sheila

  7. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    SOORRY guys, for caring!!! LOL! It's like Stormskye said, that's why I thought of it. I never wanted to separate anyone, just give a second option. Peace on earth, guys! I would like to hear more from you all, then!!! LOL! Yooodl, and peace,,,,
  8. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    it was silly. I grew up with 10 uncles and 2 brothers and a rigid father. If they ever spoke, it was to complain about what we ladies in the family said or did, or pick on our female gender. My favvo brother have finally "grown up" and started to talk, show real affection and ask questions himself, and the care I feel from him makes my heart melt! But all the years I tried to get close to "my boys" was just pushed away, and I didn't even know how many guys we had on this board, we hardly ever hear from ya'll! I shouldn't have posted the question to begin with. I was just thinking in perspective of my brother who is seeking male buddyship, a place to vent and learn about his own fibro and other diseases. He have come to a place where it matters, and have expressed an interest in "boys only". That's what prompted my thing. Shannonpsarkles, your story touched me, I know where you come from, although I DID have my mother there the whole time. My home was as you can tell very "male dominated", and crying or showing emotion or weakness- was a weakness. That has all changed now, maybe a little late, but neverless!
  9. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    Thanks, really, it was just a very flighty thought, no big deal at all! It was a come and go thing. I have no great concerns, it was just a quick suggestion! LOL! Thanks for your advice, though! This is starting to bear more weight than I ever intended,,,,LOL! Go back to the initial question, it was short and not deeply concerned as far as I can tell.

    many hugs,
    [This Message was Edited on 03/11/2006]
  10. Shananegans

    Shananegans New Member

    I mean this is a Fibro/CFS board... for everyone. So why separate and besides they have alot of the same issues that us women do and I'm sure it helps both sides to know that we j(as in the sexes) aren't the only ones suffering. I think all this separation is part of the problem... just my thoughts.

    hugs,
    Shananegans
  11. fredrick3

    fredrick3 New Member

    I just like knowing I'm not the only guy with fibro.

    As far as a guy only forum I suppose there are a few things guys wanna share with other guys. Coping with losing vitality would be of interest to me. Ego stength would be another. Trying to explain to others why I'm so sick but... "look so good"

    Pain issues. Do we tough it out or yell uncle and beg for relief?

    I'll never get used to this disease.

    Gary
  12. willruthie1965

    willruthie1965 New Member

    Guys did you have to quit your jobs???MY hubby was diagnosed 5 years ago and got so bad he had to leave is job.Now five years later I am quite sure I am getting this illness too.I have alot of knowledge on this subject.You are right there are not many guys who get this illness. Ruthie
  13. day2day

    day2day Member

    this DD is predominately a female issue, so it effects more women by far then men.

    Its great for the guys to get insight about the DD itself here, but at the same time, I am gonna take a wild guess that there may be some issues that men have we women dont experience and possibly would like some male feedback.

    I don't think it is necessarily separating the men from the women, but a place that would be helpful with guys who have sensitive issues and may be uncomfortable asking it on a board full of women. Is this what your intention was when raising this post lenasvn

    That does not mean they would leave this board, this board is great for all kinds of issue, support, info.

    just my take on it!

    day2:)
  14. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    You hit it right on the nail. so plain and simple! thank you!

    (((((HUGS!))))
  15. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    to read how many men have these awful illnesses(FMS/CFIDS). I personally enjoy having the men on this board. It is good to hear their perspective.

    My next comment does not really respond directly to your question on this post, lenasvn, but I hope you don't mind my including it here.

    I have had more than one person ask me if FMS/CFIDS is a "woman's" disease. The last person who asked was an ex-registered nurse who had never heard of a man with these illnesses. The people who have asked this have all been women who feel that if it were a "man's" disease it would receive more attention and there would be more research. I hate to think that this would be true, but it is possible because politics, medicine, science, media,etc. are all still (I think) male-dominated professions.

    If this is true, then it would really be helpful for more men to speak up for their benefit and for the good of all.

    By the way, lenasvn, I think you meant your post in the nicest way.

    Lolalee



  16. fredrick3

    fredrick3 New Member

    I gave up 5 and 1/2 years ago and filed for disability and then SSDI. I was working for years and getting sicker and sicker till the day I drove home hanging on the steering wheel in extreme pain, eyes blurry, stiff as a board and missing every exit along the way. I felt as though I was a road hazard and have driven very little since. Sadly I was convinced I had MS and did everything I could to get a diagnoses. That took 5 years and several neurologists denying that I had MS and shrugging their shoulders when I asked what it could be.

    My new fibro doc says he sees fibro in people who work the late shift. i did that for years during the 90's. He also said he sees fibro in people with back injuries. I have three areas of the spine that are in bad shape from falls.

    Gary
  17. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    fredrick3- your point about back problems is interesting. I suspect we have undiagnosed AS in my family. Our back problems starts at an early age with pain, stiffness. As time progresses, there's more pain, and more stiffness. My mother's back is crooked, sidewas that is. My brother, me, my sis,mom and me all have the same areas of back problem-we all have FM. I will probably be the first family member to find out if we have the AS problem. It will be good to know since I want my children to know if they start to have problems. my niece is 18, and is already complaining of back problems. Scary.

    Lolalee- thank you for understanding I only meant well. I never mentioned separating anyone from anywhere. I suspect the same thing you posted about being considered a womans disease, it is unfortunate but true. One day, things might change. Back home in Sweden it is an accepted disease that regular MD's have been trained to diagnose, so more people get diagnosed, and- voila!- more men get diagnosed- like my bro'. Maybe the way it's handled there will eventually spread overseas.
  18. elsa

    elsa New Member

    I think they may need us ..... It is tough enough to have fibro ... it's especially tough for a man. First the doctors have had a history of being prejudice against the whole idea, ....

    Secondly .... whether anyone likes it or not ... Men have been conditioned from the get-go to protect and provide. Pretty tough to do when they are in screamin' pain and can barely keep their eyes open.

    If nothing else, I think they may need the understanding and support from as many fibro/cfs patients they can get.

    On a shelfish note .... I like 'em .... Don't want to see them out back in the treehouse all by themselves,lol.

    Elsa
  19. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    it was just a flighty thought, nothing big or important at all. I go to both the arthritis board AND the fibro board. I think the guys are able to go to more than one board too! I am sure they would'nt abandon "us" here just because there was more than one place to go,,,LOL! If a tarded person like me can handle more than one board, anyone can!
  20. elsa

    elsa New Member

    of you to think of them .... I'm just shelfish .... want to keep 'em around ....

    elsa