Looking towards the future?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lissamaye, Apr 7, 2003.

  1. lissamaye

    lissamaye New Member

    I'm a pretty typical type A always looking towards the future. I intended this year to be my recovery year, but unfortunately quite the opposite has occured. I refuse to believe that there isn't a cure for all that ails me, but I've resigned myself to the fact that it may take years or I may never totally recover.

    With that said, my question is do you look towards the future? How to you make plans for you life if you don't know how you will respond physically?

    I recently went through the process of applying to doctoral programs. I'm into two, but now I'm having to combat my practical/type Adom with my I need to plan for my health first everything else second. The one program is likely very demanding and the second less so.

    Admittedly, I'm not really sure if I will make it through either one. I'm hoping I can do it healthfully and without being a stress ball, but there are not guarentees at all on that front.

    So do you act in a live in the moment kind of way? A conserve what I have way? Or a I will/must function the way I did before even if it kills me way?

    Sorry I know this is a ramble fest. I'm just so confused and would definitely not be if it weren't for this horrid CFS stuff.
    ~Melissa
    [This Message was Edited on 04/07/2003]
  2. jeniwren

    jeniwren New Member

    Hi Melissa,

    I'm studying too. I began a BA/BSSc in '96, thinking I'd have it finished in 3-4 years. I'm still at it, with three semesters to go, plus honours and whatever comes after that.

    I just take each day as it comes. Some days I get down...who doesn't...and think I'm wasting my life, but what else am I going to do??? I started with the goal of being an archaeologist and have had to modify that to anthropologist because I can no longer sit in a dig for hours/days.

    I think I'm lucky because it's the type A personality that has driven me to where I am, otherwise I'd have given up years ago.(Probably wouldn't have even begun) There are no plans made...just an anticipation of getting through and maybe beating this DD, or at least not allowing it to win.

    Living each day as it comes doesn't mean that you don't have goals. The goals you have are just more immediate. The next essay, finish all the weeks readings, tute paper finished on time.

    Whatever happens I always try to stay positive. The glass is always part full, never ever nearly empty.

    Good luck with your Doctoral program..I'm sure you'll do just great and you'll beat the DD!!


    Jeni

  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    We have to walk a tightrope. We balance between planning for the future but realizing that our health may affect the outcome. In other words, have a Plan B.

    I am trying to learn to live in the present and enjoy, or at least fully experience it, but it isn't easy. Us Type A's are always so busy planning that we forget to live.

    Someone once said, "If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans." I don't take this dim a view, but I now say, "Thy will be done and not my will be done," when I pray.

    I am trying to relearn to live as a well person, so I do make plans and just assume that I will feel well enough to make them come true, but I do not set myself up for failure or guilt.

    I'm glad you are with us, as I don't think I've responded to your posts yet. This place is a wonderful resource. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

    Love, Mikie
  4. lissamaye

    lissamaye New Member

    Thanks for the support you two. I was just having one of those moments where I was doubting everything I'm doing.

    It's just so frustrating to come to a stand still and wonder how it's going to effect the rest of your life. I'm not going to give it up though, afterall I worked 4 hard years to get to the point where I could get into a doctoral program.

    Hopefully I'll make a decision soon. I've finally laid out a game plan for how to do so. I just think I needed to vent.

    There is definitely a part of me that looks for the simplicity in life right now. Part of me is perfectly happy with repetitive mundane tasks. Hopefully that passion/drive will come back strong in time. It is definitely hard not to live moment to moment right now.
    ~Melissa